#were fourteen. they thought i was thirteen
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I n f a t u a t e d âŚď¸NINETEEN
CHAPTER ONEâžTWOâžTHREEâžFOURâžFIVE SIXâžSEVENâžEIGHTâžNINEâžTEN ELEVENâžTWELVEâžTHIRTEENâžFOURTEEN FIFTEENâžSIXTEENâžSEVENTEENâžEIGHTEEN NINETEEN
After manipulating her into saying no to him, he watches with growing admiration how well she is taking her punishment.
ruthless nightclub owner â innocent young woman with a crush
WARNING: NSFW! Explicit sexual content. Age gap. Size difference. Dubcon elements. Dom/sub dynamic. Praise kink. Free use/power play. Sex toys under clothing. Edging. Orgasm denial. Semi-public oral sex. (For more tags, check it on AO3!) // WORDS: 5.9k
EIGHTEEN đĽ NINETEEN đĽ TWENTY
He has his arm around her waist and his thumb on the dial in the app, the buzzing noise growing louder when he moves it. She's squirming in his hold, nails digging into his arm as she presses her lips together, fighting the sensations pulsing away inside her holes. He's conscious of their surroundings, for now the restroom is empty, they are alone in their stall at the far back, but knowing the amount of people walking around outside, this may change any second, so he hurries things along a little.
âTell me why you are being punished,â he says softly, leaning down to her.
Her pleading eyes are big, glistening, pupils dilated. âI... I was...â Her voice is shaking, cut up by gasps and stuttered moans, body convulsing against him under the assault of the vibrating toys stuck in her cunt and ass. âI was ungrateful...â she croaks out. âI was questioning... your... your generosity...â
The comment about why she's even had to pack her old things when he won't allow her to use them wasn't even that fresh on his mind, but she seems to have given it some thought, so why not include it. âAnd?â he asks, increasing the strength of the buzzing even further.
She howls quietly, pressing her flushed face into his arm for a moment, her whole body shaking badly, then she forces herself to look at him again.
âAnd... and I... I said no... when you... you wanted to make me... make me come... in the diner...â she stammers, lips quivering, eyebrows furrowed, hips bucking unconsciously against his leg, a frail attempt to relieve some tension.
He tilts his head, watching her, thumb moving up yet another inch. A groan escapes her when she's spasming against him, hands so tight around his arm she's almost cutting off his circulation.
âYou denied me,â he says calmly, eyes raking over her shuddering body, down to where her wetness drips down her thighs.
âY-yes, I did... I did...â she whines.
âYou were ungrateful.â
âYes, yes, I was...â
He hums softly, then moves his thumb all the way down, stopping the vibrations altogether. She gasps, the sudden loss of stimulation making her stumble. A disappointed wail slips past her trembling lips.
It takes her a moment to collect herself, her grip on him easing, her head lowered, her breaths rapid, chest heaving. Then she sniffles, shoulders sagging, and she says: âI'm sorry.â
âI know you are, sweetheart,â he replies softly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his chest. âBut you understand that there have to be consequences, right?â
âYes, sir,â she answers, inhaling sharply.
âGood,â he concludes and sighs deeply, turning the screen off to slip his phone into his pocket. He lets go of her, leans her against the wall, and gathers the clothes she's exchanged for the new outfit he's bought her. The blouse makes her look a little older, the skirt however pulls a different association to mind. To find this kind of item in a mainstream store like this has surprised him, but he's happy he's found it.
The perfect length to show off her legs (and the welts on the backs of her thighs, a clear sign of his possession for the knowing eye, an unfortunate display of strange horizontal red lines for the innocent bystander), and if she isn't careful or if the wind bullies her too much, everyone will see the leather straps of the harness holding the toys inside her. It was either that or her bare cunt, but again, to the unknowing eye, some people will only see a black thong digging deep between her ass cheeks, while others will know her secret.
He could have just spanked her and be done with it, but he thought a little humiliation (or the idea of it) would be a better punishment. She denied him, too afraid to let go in a public place (and they weren't even that public, in their corner in the diner, she just had to keep quiet, but she's clearly not there yet), and if she's not ready to climax, she will not do so for the rest of the day. That's the plan.
She watches him out of hooded eyes, not daring to move just yet with those toys inside her. He looks her over, then sighs, putting the bag down again. His hands find her flushed face, and he tries to wipe the sweat and tears away, smooths her hair, makes her more presentable again, he even crouches down in front of her, nudging her legs apart and inspects the wetness level between them.
Running a hand over her soaked skin, he deems it tolerable and unnoticeable. Standing up again he wipes the same hand over her rear, teasing the harness. She flinches, but stays silent, looking like she wants to cry some more.
âHey, it'll be alright,â he tells her, gently brushing his knuckles against her chin to make her look up. âI'll be right by your side wherever we go. You, me, and your two new best friends,â he adds, giving her plump rear a reverberating slap that makes her jump against him with a gasp.
She remains uncertain, timid and possibly also a little cranky, but she'll get used to it. It's not like this is the first time she's wearing them, though the last time has been too short for his liking, not public enough. He'll change that now.
Picking up the bags again, he then grabs her hand and opens the stall door, pulling her after him. She's wobbly, not just because of the cargo inside her, but those shoes seem to cause her quite some trouble too, even though he chose the wedges, giving her more ground coverage instead of those pointy high heels. He guides her to the sinks and pushes the bags into her hands while he quickly washes his. Drying them with some paper towels, he keeps watching her in the mirror.
âDoes it hurt? Be honest.â
She shakes her head, swallows hard. âJust feels... weird, full. They move with every step.â Her voice is that quiet hum, kind of defeated, flat. She's probably focusing her energy elsewhere.
âThey're supposed to. You'll want to feel them...â He takes the bags from her and grabs her hand again. âCome on, step after step, you can do this. Remember, the more normal you act, the less people will notice you.â
She huffs something of a scoff, and he lets her, smirking at the little pout on her lips. Her hand squeezes his fingers when they start walking, and he takes it slow, guides her out of the restroom and across the parking lot. It's packed, but nobody gives them a second glance. He unlocks his car and opens the door for her, watching in growing amusement how she clambers inside, wincing and whining quietly before she settles on the seat, pressing her thighs together so hard they're trembling.
He leans over her and buckles her in, brushing his nose against her cheek as he does so. âYou're doing great, darling,â he praises her, savoring the little inhale that vibrates in his ear.
She watches him when he leans back, and he winks at her before he closes the door with a soft thud. Once he's sitting behind the wheel, he turns to her, tilting his head.
âSo, where do you want to go?â he asks, relishing in the confusion washing over her flushed face. âThere's a farmer's market nearby, we can look for fresh vegetables for tonight's dinner? But I don't feel like cooking, to be honest...â
âYou cook?â she breathes out before he can give her more options.
A laugh escapes him. She sounds a bit too surprised. He may have the means to hire first class chefs and never have the need to bend a finger, but sometimes he prefers doing it himself. âI do, yes, occasionally, if the mood strikes. Maybe I'll show you one day.â
There's a soft twitch to her lips. âI'd like that,â she whispers.
âYeah?â he repeats, equally surprised now. âHmm, that does sound nice, doesn't it? You can help me, cut some vegetables, maybe wear a cute little apron and nothing else...â She turns her face away with a little croak, and he chuckles again. âOne day, baby.â
She only hums, twisting her fingers into the short hem of her skirt.
âWe could also go to the mall, how about that spa treatment I promised you before? Manicure, pedicure, Brazilian wax?â
She stares back at him with wide eyes, and he finds it just a tad too amusing.
âDon't worry, I like you just the way you are,â he says quietly, his hand finding its way to her thigh. He told himself to deny her any touches, but he already knows he can't keep that up for long. He likes to feel her soft skin under his calloused fingers, her warmth, the little shivers.
She blushes softly, licking her lips. He squeezes her leg.
âSome more shopping then?â he suggests, trying to think of more things to do where she has to walk and be in public. He'd know where to go in the city, but they're a few hours outside of it, and he has to take what is being given to him. âI think there's even a cinema in that mall...â
A glint goes through her eyes at that, making him smile. âMall sounds okay,â she says quietly, her eyes moving from his hand to his face and back, shy, timid, unsure. So incredibly cute and innocent.
He starts the engine. âMall it is then,â he replies, patting her thigh before shifting the car into gear and driving off the parking lot. At the first red light, he shifts on his seat and fumbles his phone out of his pocket, ignoring the missed calls and going straight into the vibrator app.
âI almost forgot,â he tells her, and she stares at him, hands braced on the seat beside her when he moves his thumb up on the screen, setting both toys on a five. It's mild, but still more than nothing, and she can obviously tell when soft little whines escape her. âNo need to keep the noises down in here, baby. Just let go... but remember: you are not allowed to come.â
She swallows audibly and nods. âYes, sir,â she whispers, sitting stiff in her seat, just letting the pulses go through her now.
He gives her a nod and puts his phone in the compartment between their seats, not without glancing at the accumulated messages. He can't be bothered today, though. He's paying enough people a lot of money to take care of his businesses, they will be able to handle whatever is stressing them out without him today.
By the time they reach the large mall, his mind has nevertheless wandered to the club, and he can imagine the worried faces of his men as they try again and again to reach him. Pulling into a parking spot right in the middle, he grabs his phone and unlocks it, then throws a side glance at the silent girl beside him.
She has her eyes closed, a concentrated look on her face, hands clenched around the edge of the seat. He wants to give her a break, but instead of turning the toys off, he amps them up to a ten. She cries out, her eyes flying open, her betrayed look almost enough to make him feel sorry. He slides his thumb higher, eleven, twelve, then settles on thirteen.
Her body shudders, legs trembling, her lips parted as quiet moans slip past them. She's squirming on the seat, face flushed, eyes watering, her noises growing louder, quicker, eyelids fluttering, eyes twitching, about to roll back â but then he taps the Turn Off button and she deflates almost immediately, thrashing her head against the back of the seat in frustration, a loud groan escaping her throat.
He only clicks his tongue, and her shoulders sag, lips quivering as she presses them into a pout. âStay here,â he tells her, waiting for her to look at him, then gives her a pointed stare. She nods, her chest still heaving when she relaxes back into the seat.
He exits the car and closes the door, then dials the club. As he listens to the updates, gives orders and confirms settled arrangements, while also easing the worries of concerned employees, he keeps watching the girl, so tiny in his car, fragile, helpless. Taking her punishment like a champ. He loves teasing her, but he already knows he'll give her so much more come tonight. She may not deserve it, but this is about him as well, and he certainly deserves to bury his cock deep in that beautiful little cunt. And that tight little ass. And that even tighter little throat.
Just thinking about it makes him hard, and he has to put a hand into his pocket to adjust himself discreetly. The temptation with this girl. This was about making her take the walk of shame, but it won't be particularly easy for him either. Maybe he won't even wait for tonight.
Once the call has ended, he walks around to her side and opens the door, leans in to unbuckle her and holds out his hand when he straightens up again. She takes it, it's shaking, but her grip is firm as she tries to gracefully get out of his car. There's still a wobble to her steps, she's stiff and literally walks as if she has a stick up her ass, which couldn't be closer to the truth, but she can't walk around like that.
His hand is on her lower back when he leans down to her. âAct normal,â he tells her. She breathes loudly through her nose, looking up at him. âI'm trying,â she whispers. He raises an eyebrow, ready to scold her with an âAttitude, young ladyâ, but then she grabs his hand and smiles at him.
She is trying. Brave little girl.
He brushes his lips against her cheek, smiling back at her when he leans up again. His hand moves to close around hers, and she's eagerly curling her small fingers around his thumb, giving it a soft squeeze. Together they take the first step away from the car, and she flinches, the next one, another wince, the third one, she's becoming quieter, and by the time they reach the front doors, she's walking more or less normally, still a little stiff (but that could also be because of the unfamiliar shoes), her grip tight (little labored breaths puffing from her nose), her cheeks bright red (which totally suits her anyway), but she's trying.
They've spent the last hour just strolling through the vast shopping mall, casually, mostly window shopping, occasionally he pulls her to the side and shows her something on the various displays, just to let her catch her breath. She's still flushed, tense, her hand sweaty, her legs trembling, but he couldn't be more proud. âYou're doing great,â he tells her quietly, feeling her small body shaking against his.
Luckily the mall isn't as crowded on this ordinary Tuesday. There are still a lot of people, but they come and go in groups, and he notices some of them looking their way, but it's nothing new to him. Maybe they've seen his face somewhere before. Maybe they like looking at the girl by his side with her short skirt and beautiful legs, particularly toned today with how she's balancing on her shoes. Maybe they aren't even looking at them after all.
He has no reason to be paranoid right now, she, however, keeps looking around nervously, squeezing his hand or turning her body just in time before someone can see the welts on the backs of her thighs. He's enjoying the sight more and more, it's been a moment of weakness, an unfair punishment, but seeing his marks on her, no matter how they came to be, makes him feel proud (and painfully hard).
If he doesn't take care of this soon, he might attract more stares than her.
But he has to be patient for a little longer, even if the images of her on her knees keep haunting him as they continue their stroll. He could take her right here, back pushed against the store front, caged in by his body, lips strained around his cock, and just the idea of people walking past and seeing them like that makes his cock twitch against the confines of his jeans.
He's never been particularly fond of public humiliation, not like that, it's his reputation on the line as well. Most of the city knows him as a business man, successful, relentless, good in what he does, he's the face of several prominent establishments, from nightclubs and restaurants to bars and even a few exclusive fashion stores, but his main focus lies on the nightclub he uses for far more than selling alcohol to dance enthusiasts.
It's how he came to be where he is now, why he can indulge in pleasures nobody knows about. And he wants to keep it that way. So no making the girl giving him head in the middle of the mall. Too bad. But he'll find other corners, maybe even drag her back into yet another restroom, who knows. He has the whole rest of the day to figure something out.
A tug to his wrist pulls him from his thoughts, and he looks down at the girl next to him, whose cheeks are a little bit more flushed than before. He raises an eyebrow. âYou okay?â
She bites her lip nervously, shifting from one foot to the other. âI... I gotta...â she mumbles, and even though she doesn't finish her sentence, he understands, opting to let it slide and not make her say it properly.
âCome on then,â he says with a sigh.
Looking around, he then drags her towards the restrooms which are separated here, unlike the mixed one at the department store, and he ponders what would be less strange: a man in the women's bathroom or a girl in the men's. He chooses the latter, and gently pulls her into the long room past the urinals to the stalls in the back. Luckily they are alone for now.
âNeed help with the harness?â he asks quietly, watching her as he pushes her gently into the stall. She purses her lips, averts her eyes, but then lifts her skirt, her thighs trembling slightly. He chuckles softly and steps into the stall as well, pushing the door shut.
He tries to be quick about it, to loosen the leather straps from around her mound to allow him to pull the dildo out of her cunt. She groans quietly when he does, her silky flesh dragging along the silicone. Her scent hits his nostrils and it's overwhelming, making his cock throb just a bit more. Holding the drenched toy, he tilts his head. âThe other too?â
She is still not looking at him, shame burning along her exposed skin, then she shakes her head.
He exhales loudly. âAlright then,â he says and turns around, playing with the vibrator between his fingers. âBe quick about it.â
âYou... you're staying?â she stammers, alarm in her soft voice.
âYou can't go with me here?â he replies, unable to hide his amusement. âDon't be ashamed, baby, nothing I haven't seen and heard before.â
He can feel her shuffle behind him, then he hears the quiet thud of the toilet lid and a strange tapping sound, and he figures she's creating noises with her fingernails on the wall to distract from other noises, and he just sighs. It's cute how embarrassed she is, and it's probably a natural reaction, especially since they really barely know each other, but these last days should have been intense and intimate enough for her to loosen up around him.
Eventually he hears water flushing, and when he turns around, she's standing in front of the toilet with her head still lowered, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt.
He opens the door then, looks around, then nods towards the sinks. She follows, quickly washes her hands, before he steps behind her, dildo in hand. Her eyes widen in the mirror when he puts his hand on her back and makes her lean forward slightly before he prods the toy back between her folds right away, right in the open, very noticeable should someone enter the restroom. She squirms, wails quietly, hands clutching the sink, he should have probably prepared her better, but he doesn't have time (and frankly, he likes to see her writhing in discomfort a little too much).
Once the toy is back inside her, he crouches down and fixes the leather straps of the harness, then gives her a gentle slap on her soft butt that makes her jump when he straightens up again. Her breaths are labored, her hips moving slightly as she adjusts to being filled up once more. When she finally meets his eyes again, her cheeks are bright red. âThank you,â she whispers, licking her lips. He smiles softly as he leans past her and washes his hands, then brushes his lips against her ear while grabbing a paper towel.
âGood girl,â he whispers, watching goosebumps spread down her neck.
He considers pulling her back into the stall and making her kneel and take his cock down her throat, but then refrains, still thinking about finding a better place. Public restrooms are a little degrading after all, even for him.
Taking her hand, he then pulls her after him (and she follows with unsteady steps), back into the loud, anonymous crowd of the mall.
Since first meeting her, he's known she is a quick learner, adjusts easily to whatever he throws at her, not always without fussing, but always submissive enough to meet his standards, and she's trying her best, and as he watches her walk beside him, almost completely normal, almost as if her holes weren't plugged up by a thick dildo each, he considers changing her punishment because she seems to enjoy herself a little too much.
She's cute, how she points to certain things to show him, how she squeezes his hand and smiles up at him, just happy to be spending time with him like this, like a normal couple, and the thought makes him frown. They are not, far from it, and she shouldn't be left in the impression that they are.
She is his, a body to use and do whatever he wants with, her purpose is to please him. And apparently it pleases him to just walk with her, because he finds himself relaxing and leaning into her, searching her warmth, waiting for her big eyes to meet his, for that innocent little smile. It's a strange sensation, definitely not something he's done often â if at all.
And as Mistress' words come back to him, accusing him of having gone soft, he inhales sharply, still fighting these changes the girl next to him unknowingly forces upon him. His hand closes a little tighter around hers as he pulls her towards one of the many cafes, those with the little tables that sit right in the middle of the large hallway, right in the open, with the streams of people having to walk around them, and he doesn't know if it's a good idea or not to choose one of those.
In the end it doesn't matter, and he's guiding her towards a table, pulls her chair out and lets her sit down first, watching the little strain on her face as she does, and she's still squirming on her seat as he sits down opposite her. Their knees touch under the table, and he puts his large hand on hers for a moment, watching her intently, causing her to stiffen, but ultimately calm down.
He's barely leaned back when a waitress comes to their table, a small young thing like the girl across from him, but this girl has a face full of make up, dark rimmed eyes, hair in a bouncy ponytail, and an almost obnoxious smile on her red lips. And she's exclusively looking at him.
âHi!â she chimes, rocking on the balls of her feet excitedly. âWhat can I get you?â
He looks at her, a little disgruntled that he didn't even have time to look at the menu and that this young woman doesn't seem to be able to read the room (he has to remind himself that they are in a small town mall and not a five star restaurant), but then orders a coffee for himself, and an orange juice and a sandwich for the girl whose knees keep bumping into his. He thanks the waitress with a smile, an automatic gesture for him, and once she's bounced away again, he looks over the table to find a sight he hasn't expected.
She glares after the other girl, eyes narrowed and dark, a strange tension on her usually soft face. When she looks back at him, the same expression stays a moment longer, before she looks down and bites her lip, breathing deeply. He holds off wondering what that gaze was all about, but when the waitress eventually returns with their order, balancing a tray on her hand, he witnesses again how her kind face turns sour, even more so when the young woman gets a little too close to him when putting down his coffee cup.
The waitress seems to take the amused glint in his eyes personal and giggles annoyingly, even brushes her fingers against his hand when she puts down the other items he ordered, always avoiding acknowledging his table partner. He thanks her, watching his girl out of the corner of his eye when he smiles at the other, then looks after her a moment longer than necessary. Turning his head back to the girl, she can't hide her flushed face fast enough.
She's jealous.
And now that he thinks about it, it's not the first time she's acted a little strange. He thinks back to the diner waitress named Nancy, who he's just treated like he had because he's been in a good mood, not even thinking about it much. For his innocent girl to be this possessive surprises him, it flatters him, and he can clearly think of many situations where he can use this trait to his advantage, but he still has to keep an eye on that. He can't have her throwing daggers with her eyes at every single female he gets in contact with.
They eat and drink in silence, and he watches her closely, determined to let her stew in her new-found emotion for a bit by not touching or talking to her, and when they're done, he waves for the waitress who comes bouncing back happily, giggling, twirling her hair, very obviously flirting with him â and to prove a point, he flirts back, smiles at her, even touches her arm when he hands her his credit card, watching the young woman blush deeply.
As he waits for her to return to finish the transaction, he throws a cautious glance towards the girl on the chair opposite him, and she's fuming, hiding it, but he can see the red spots on her cheeks, her glistening eyes, the way her shoulders are tense, and how she presses her knees together under the table. She doesn't even look at him, just stares into the direction the waitress has vanished to.
Leaning back in his chair, pulling one leg over the other, he gets out his phone, swipes through new messages, reads some emails, but then opens the vibrator app. Without tilting his chin up, he watches her when he slides his thumb over the dial, turning on the toys within her, slowly increasing their speed. An audible gasp escapes her that she quickly muffles with her hand, squirming on the chair, chin pressed into her palm as she leans on her elbow and now finally looks at him, eyes still full of betrayal, now more than ever.
He gives her a wink, she gives him a stare, and he'll make sure to remind her of her place later. The waitress returns, and he lowers his phone, hiding the screen, accepting his card back with another smile that makes the young woman giggle before she wishes him a lovely day, and he returns the verbiage, almost making himself sick with how sweet he sounds.
As soon as she is gone, he stands up and walks around the table, grabbing the girl's elbow a little too roughly. She looks up at him in surprise, but quickly stumbles after him as he pulls her into a smaller side hallway. Turning another corner, he notices the maintenance door and a camera above it, but he doesn't care, turns his back to it and tilts his head as he lets go of the girl's hand and points to the floor.
She falls to her knees almost instantly, although a wince escapes her and she struggles to find a comfortable position, but there's no hesitation when she watches him unbuckle his belt and than eagerly closes her hands around his cock once he's pulled it out. She doesn't even look around, only focuses on him, and he inhales deeply when she starts pressing her lips to his shaft and licks along his heated skin as if it's the only thing she wants to do right now.
Jealousy works for her...
He's never seen her this enthusiastic when sucking him off, and he watches her with growing admiration. She's quick to lather his length in her saliva, then closes her lips around his tip and sucks hard, tongue poking and flicking and lapping expertly, before she presses it against the underside of his cock and takes him deeper, hands braced on his thighs.
âDon't make a mess this time,â he tells her quietly, and she looks up at him from under her lashes, humming around his girth.
And indeed she tries, keeps most of her spit in her mouth, allows herself to swallow around him, pulls back more often to take deep breaths and lick around her lips before focusing back on his erection. Her hands move up to squeeze his base and his balls in a hypnotizing rhythm, and he catches himself groaning quietly at the sensations, hands clenching at his sides, neck rolling as he feels the tension building inside his stomach.
He refrains from gripping her hair and pulling her against him, he wants her to feel the rift between them, the possibility that he may not touch her but expects her to service him nonetheless. It's almost cruel. She's been so good, but seeing her reacting so strongly to him flirting with other women does things to him. It's empowering.
And she seems to feel it, looks up at him while taking his cock as deep as she allows herself without gagging, he feels the teasing grip of her throat, but she never pushes him deeper, focuses more on fondling the part of his length that doesn't fit into her mouth. It's a nice change, and he lets her, watches her with a forcibly neutral expression. She gives her all, licks and laps, nibbles and sucks, squeezes and massages, always holding his gaze even when tears well up in her eyes.
She's in the middle of bobbing her head when he feels the telltale twitch of his balls, and for this last moment, he allows himself to grab her head and pushes her all the way against him, ignoring the gurgles and muffled noises of protest as he comes down her throat, pumping spurt after spurt into her while holding her tightly, and she digs her fingers into his jeans, body shuddering as he robs her of oxygen.
Eventually he lets her lean back, his hand still in her hair, keeping her close, but allowing her to take deep, rasping breaths as she calms down slowly, and without him having to say anything, she continues her ministrations and cleans his length from any excess cum. Once he deems her done, he pries her hands off him and tucks his softening cock back into his underwear, then buttons up his jeans and closes his belt again, his eyes on the girl kneeling in front of him.
She's wiping at her mouth, but doesn't dare to move much. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he leans down and grabs her chin, tilting her head up, waiting. It takes her a moment, but then she mutters a soft little âThank youâ, and he nods, pulling her up into a standing position, his hand finding her warm cheek, his thumb pressing onto her bottom lip. She parts her lips obediently, and he lets her suck on his thumb for a moment, watching her eyes glazing over slightly.
Smoothing her hair with his other hand, he inhales deeply, just standing with her on the empty hallway, the surveillance camera in his back, both of them calming down eventually, even though she is still shivering, the toys buzzing away inside her. When she feels relaxed enough to grind her hips into his leg, he fists her hair and pulls her away from his thumb, and she whines quietly, but quickly gathers herself once more, mumbling a quick âSorryâ. He lets it slide for now, easing his grip before letting go completely.
Looking her over to make sure she's presentable (noticing the redness of her knees and the slight shine to her thighs but ultimately deems it acceptable), he then grabs her hand, takes a step and waits for her to catch up, before they stroll back to the main area of the mall. She looks up at him occasionally, waiting for the praise that never came, and he wants to pamper her so badly for being such a good girl for him, but she has to learn, remember that she's still being punished for disobedience, ungratefulness, and, newly added to the list, unreasonable jealousy.
She really has nothing to worry about in that department. He's found the perfect girl, his submissive little angel, he doesn't need another one, and he's never been so sure about anything before, not after such a short amount of time. It's risky, it's very unlike him to commit to something so fast, and it may not end well. But he doesn't care, for the moment he is (literally) satisfied, holding her hand, feeling her soft skin, those little twitches, the way her legs tremble, and how the sweet scent of her arousal tickles his nostrils...
He just came down her throat â and he can already feel his cock thickening all over again. That's the power this girl has over him. It's addictive. Why would he even look at another woman, unless he wanted to test her limits a little. Oh, he already knows he'll test them again, and again, if it results in her becoming even more submissive to him, grateful for his attention, happy that he chose her after all.
It's cruel and manipulative, but also too much fun to pass up. He'll make her jealous, fuel that possessive spark until it's spreading like wildfire. And when the world is burning around them, he'll hold her in his arms and tell her what a good girl she is. The only one for him.
EIGHTEEN đĽ NINETEEN đĽ TWENTY
End notes: We're continuing our descent into the dark world of jealousy. Buckle up, it'll get very bumpy in the next chapter which is also the finale of Season Two!
Thank you for reading! Next chapter on Sunday!
TAG LIST: @untamedheart81 @qmsvpx @cyan1decandy @bimbos-are-angels @voiceactivated @reader-1290
CHAPTER / / / ONEâžTWOâžTHREEâžFOURâžFIVE
SIXâžSEVENâžEIGHTâžNINEâžTEN
ELEVENâžTWELVEâžTHIRTEENâžFOURTEEN FIFTEEN
SIXTEENâžSEVENTEENâžEIGHTEENâžNINETEEN
AO3 / / / MASTERLIST
#ao3 original work#dead dove do not eat#dom/sub#d/s dynamic#praise k!nk#free use kink#older man younger woman#size difference#modern au#joel miller smut#supernatural smut#dean winchester smut#arthur morgan smut#simon ghost riley smut#cod smut#mattheo riddle smut#original fiction
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peoples' assumptions of your age being situational has led to a bizarre range of experiences for me. when im at school people in their early twenties are shocked to find out i'm younger than them. just a week ago at summer camp people were shocked to find out i'm older than fourteen. someone pegged me as thirteen
#i was the oldest camper there but nobody would have ever guessed that#except this one ten year old who accurately pegged my age in the first try. she's a different situation though because she viewed me as#a counselor#and the thing is. i fall for it to#i was talking to these girls and because of the clothes they wore and they way they dressed i thought they were all older than me.. they#were fourteen. they thought i was thirteen#finn says shit
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.
#its actually kinda crazy i feel like i grew up in the hey day of harry potter mania like as the books and movies were still coming out#but i didnt read them at all til i was like thirteen or fourteen#out of a combination of religious paranoia and my own inherent snobbery#but then i agreed to read them for/with a friend of mine who was really into them bc she was going thru like. conversion therapy bs.#not that anyone called it that but yk. it was a really dark time for her and it was nice for her to have something to take her mind off it#but then in the end her parents said she wasnt allowed to talk to me anymore bc i was 'a bad influence'#i havent thought abt all that in years but like damn that was kind of fucked up! lol
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Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
And my, my love had been frozen. Deep blue, but you painted me golden.
Warnings: 18+, mdni! there will be smut in the future chapters. enemies to lovers, 'she fell first, he fell harder' kind of trope, allusions to unrequited love, mentions of death, injuries, allusions to self hatred, mentions of bullying, this story is set post s4, Vecna and the upside down are gone. slow burn. âhateâ sex. fwb kinda thing but theyâre âenemiesâ. mean!reader, mean!Steve, hurt/comfort, happy ending.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: You and Steve have never seen eye to eye, and it never changed, not even when you were pulled into a world of monsters and risked your life to save him. But tension had always been between you both, something that neither of you ever wanted to admit -- but how much longer can you take it when the pull between you gets stronger and stronger each second you spend by each others side?
âĄ
Prologue âď¸
Chapter one âď¸ Waiting Room
Chapter two âď¸ I want you to notice, when Iâm not around
Chapter three âď¸ So if you need to be mean, be mean to me
Chapter four âď¸ Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness
Chapter five âď¸'Cause you know it could never be
Chapter six âď¸ Secrets I have held in my heart
Chapter seven âď¸ Got a feeling your electric touch, could fill this ghost town up with life
Chapter eight âď¸ Say my name and everything just stops
Chapter nine âď¸ And I'll show you if you let me, girl
Chapter ten âď¸ Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning
Chapter eleven âď¸ Yeah, I know it seems surprising when thereâs lipstick still on the glass
Chapter twelve âď¸ When the curtains call the time, will we both go home alive?
Chapter thirteen âď¸ For a moment, I was heaven struck
Chapter fourteen âď¸ Somewhere in these eyes, I'm on your side
Chapter fifteen âď¸ I thought the plane was going down, how'd you turn it right around?
Chapter sixteen âď¸ Hold me, love me, touch me, honey
Chapter seventeen âď¸ What am I supposed to do? If there's no you.
Chapter eighteen âď¸ Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me
Chapter nineteen âď¸ For you, I would ruin myself, a million little times
Chapter twenty âď¸ Tell me it's love, tell me it's real
Chapter twenty one âď¸ Please, I've been on my knees, change the prophecy
Chapter twenty two âď¸ Let the world around us just fall apart
Chapter twenty three âď¸ And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me
Chapter twenty four âď¸ I once believed love would be black and white, but itâs golden
Chapter twenty five âď¸ Who could stay? You could stay
The Epilogue âď¸
#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington imagines#steve harrington series#steve harrington angst#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington enemies to lovers
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IN PERFECT SYNC [j.jh smau]
genres: humour, friends to enemies to lovers, secret relationship, forced proximity, college au, dancer au, hiphopdancer!jaehyun, fboy!jaehyun, balletdancer!yn
synopsis: your dance college wasnât the easiest to get in to, let alone was it easy to stay. so what happens when your college decides they need to cut two of the dance teams from competing ever again, the ballet team and the hiphop team. will both teams get along in order to solve their connected issue, or will they fight to get their own team back to competing again? only you and hiphop dance team captain, jeong jaehyun, can decide your teams fates. but thereâs one problem, you hate eachother.
WARNINGS: mention of drugs/alcohol, language, jokes about sex, mention of injury, some usage of ballet terminology, lots of extensive lore?, angst, lots of angst, slowburn as fuck obviously, major character betrayal, lots of lying, i mean LOTS of lying, jaehyun is an asshole for like 50% of this, the plot gets v messy and confusing but i live for that so
DISCLAIMER: all portrayals of people are fake and from my imagination, in no way am i claiming that they act like this irl.
written wc: 8.8k
STATUS: complete! â 09.03.24 - 10.02.24
TAGLIST - OPEN!
MASTERLIST
[profiles one] || [profiles two]
[one â jungwoos scared of girls]
[two â that canât be good]
[three â well that sucks]
[four â heâs stalking you]
[five â we were just friends]
[six â the man he was] half written
[seven â i need to talk to you]
[eight â iâve waited so long]
[nine â roses]
[ten â im over you]
[eleven â ur over me?]
[twelve â betrayal] written chapter
[thirteen â dimples]
[fourteen â conflict] written chapter
[fifteen â i never knew]
[sixteen â youâre welcome, btw]
[seventeen â she deserves to know]
[eighteen â it was me.] written chapter
[nineteen â hey guysâŚ]
[twenty â collab of the century]
[twenty-one â iâm happy heâs over u]
[twenty-two â i did it for you] written chapter
[twenty-three â no one knows except..]
[twenty-four â that same old dimpled smile] written chapter
[twenty-five â everything about you]
[twenty-six â however hard it may be.] half written
[twenty-six and a half â itâs finally happening]
[twenty-seven â they can wait]
[twenty-eight â ive nothing to fear] written chapter
[twenty-nine â they donât know we know they know we know]
[thirty â in perfect sync.] written chapter
end.
replies, likes and reblogs are all greatly appreciated! feel free to send thoughts and requests in my asks: characters, scenes, chapters etc.
#nct#jaehyun#nct college au#nct smau#nct 127#nct 127 smau#nct dream#nct 127 fanfic#jaehyun x reader#jeong jaehyun#jaehyun smau#jeong jaehyun smau#jaehyun fanfic#jaehyun nct#nct fanfic#kpop#kpop smau
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do you believe me now? | 4
in which spencer reid and inexperienced fem!reader are interrupted at the most inopportune of times. he calls you on the first night of his case. dirty talk turns into a hard conversation. we get a glimpse into spencer's past, and we finally learn why he's so hesitant to sleep with you.
series masterlist
18+ (smut) warnings/tags: dirty talk, phone sex/mutual masturbation, softdom!spence, obligatory he talks u through it, lots of graphic discussions of sex, established relationship, angst (sorrryyy!) a/n: so remember how i said you'd need the bonus chapter to fully appreciate/understand this part? i was wrong!! it will come in handy probably in the next part tho:) also idk how these parts keep getting so long im sorry! anyway, i love you all so bad. thank you for bearing w/ my craziness. PLEASE let me know your thoughts on this part!! i adore hearing from you!! kisses
(also special thank you to @fliesforeyes who convinced me phone sex w/ spence could be done!! i will link his phone sex blurb here :)) thank u binx!!
âThree million six hundred eighty four thousand three hundred thirty two times fourteen million seven hundred sixty one thousand nine hundred seventy one.â
Youâve lost count of how many stupid math questions youâve asked your human calculator boyfriend, just to see if he can actually do them. Spencer is silent for a second, and you think youâve finally stumped him.Â
âThat one is complicated.â
You sit bolt upright in his bed, looking down at him and pointing an accusatory finger. His brows raise at the manic look in your eye.Â
âYou donât know.â
âI do know. I meant it would be hard to explain if you arenât a math person.â
âBullshit!â You scoff, âyou donât know!â
âIt would display on a calculator as five-point-three-eight-eight-E-thirteen. Itâs a really big number.â
âOh, really big, huh?â you mumble, searching for your phone blindly in the sheets and scrambling to open the calculator app. âUm⌠what numbers did I say?â
Spencer repeats them back to you and you press the equals sign.Â
You look at it.Â
And then you set your phone down.Â
âI was right, huh?â he smiles up at you, probably reveling in your pouty wrongness.Â
Too proud to admit it, you collapse on top of him, burying your face in his shoulder.Â
âI donât like this game anymore. What the fuck even is an e? Why are we doing algebra?â
Spencer laughs, brushing your hair aside.Â
âThe e stands for exponent. Itâs to the power of ten.â
âEver heard of a rhetorical question?â
âYes, I have.â
Itâs hard not to snort even at his dumbest jokes.Â
âYouâre annoying. Letâs do something else.â
You roll over onto your back again, letting your head flop over to look at Spencer, whose hair is exactly the right amount of messy after a long day, falling in impossibly soft waves over the perfect lines and contours of his face. Despite lounging, heâs still in his suit from workâheâd left Quantico and immediately picked you up. There were no solid plans for the evening, so after both of you pretended that you wanted to go out for a while, you ended up back at his apartment.Â
He looks good. Almost too good.Â
âSomething like what?â he smiles lazily, reaching over and tracing his fingers over your cheek.Â
âSomething⌠naked?â
His grin widens and he shakes his head.Â
âMe naked or you naked?â
Pretending to think about it, you roll your bottom lip between your teeth.Â
âMm⌠why not both?â
âHm. Why do I feel like I know where this is going?â
The mattress sinks underneath your elbow as you prop yourself up, dropping your head over Spencerâs to kiss him.Â
âBecause youâre so smart, and you think itâs a great idea.â
He entertains your kiss for a moment. Just a moment.
âYou sound sure of yourself.â
âBecause I am!â You finally give in to your impulses, tangling your fingers in his hair and looking at him meaningfully. âIt doesnât make any sense for us to have not had sex. I donât care about any of your weird, cryptic moral reasoning.â
He grabs your wrist carefully.Â
âIt is not moral,â he scoffs. âWe havenât even talked about it yet.â
âReally? Because I feel like weâve talked about it a lot.âÂ
He begins to reply, but you realize you donât want to get into a debate over whether youâve technically talked about it yet. âI donât even care! If thatâs all thatâs standing in your way, then letâs talk about it. Right now.â
Spencer sighs, his eyes darting between yours as he reaches up to cradle your cheek.Â
âFine. But I have things to say youâre not going to like.â
âSo business as usual?â
He rolls his eyes. You allow yourself a tiny self-satisfied smirk, forever relishing in his poorly-hidden soft spot for your constant teasing. Spencer ignores this. Which is probably for the best.Â
âI know you probably wonât see it this way, butâsex is different than everything else weâve done so far. It can be really fun, obviously it feels good, it facilitates deeper feelings of connectionâthatâs all true. Which is why, in my opinion, itâs incredibly important that you be selective with who you sleep with. Because itâs so easy to do something you regret, and sex is vulnerable. It should always be with someone you trust andâand⌠care about.â
A pink flush stains his cheeks like watercolor as he stumbles over the last few words. It makes your heart flutter against the confines of your chest.
Maybe best not to think about the absence versus presence of certain four-letter words and what they may or may not mean. Youâll move on to more pressing matters and pretend like it doesnât ache just a little in your whole body.Â
You cover his hand with your own.Â
âAre you going to break up with me anytime soon?â
Spencerâs eyes widen, filling with genuine horror and confusion.Â
âWhat? No!â
âAre you going to cheat on me?â
âAbsolutely not, Iââ
âThen Iâm not going to regret it. Issue resolved. Moving on.â
âHoney, I just want you to be 100% sure that Iâm what you want.â
âOh my god,â you groan, flopping onto your back once more. âI have begged you to sleep with me on multiple occasions. We have been dating for months and I liked you even longer before that. I think about it literally every time I see you. I donât know how to be any surer.â
Itâs quiet for a moment as you study the imaginary pattern on the ceiling. The rebuttal youâd been anticipating doesnât comeâinstead, the mattress shifts next to you. Spencer enters your field of vision, now leaning over you with a little smile on his face that gives you butterflies.Â
âEvery time?â
ââŚyes, every time,â you agree, voice considerably thinner than it had been a moment ago. Spencer glances at your lips as he speaks.Â
âInteresting. And what is it that you think about exactly?â
You groan again, attempting to roll facedown, but he pins your shoulder to the bed. The way heâs sweetly kissing down your cheek and jaw is infuriating because you know itâs a false pretense.Â
âUgh, I donât know! Donât make me answer that!â
âYou said if talking about it was all that was standing in my way, we would talk about it. Now I want to talk about it. Come on,â he says, voice low and cloying against your throat as he attempts to tease the answer out of you. âTell me what you think about when you think about us having sex.â
You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of his lips skimming your neck, hating how easily he can reduce you to this.Â
âI⌠I always wonder what it will feel like. Sometimes I wonder if it will hurt.â
Spencer sighs, interrogation by way of seduction momentarily forgotten. You silently curse yourself for saying something so un-sexy.Â
âIt might, sweetheart. Thatâs one of the reasons weâve held back. IâŚÂ really donât want to hurt you. I donât even know if I can.â
You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you with more confidence than you feel.Â
âSometimes I worry about it, too. But I like you a lot more than it scares me. I still want to.â
He kisses your palm.Â
âYouâll be okay. It doesnât hurt for everyone, and even if it does, youâre resilient.â
âExactly. So you have to get over yourself.â
Spencer laughs like he wasnât expecting to, eyes sparkling as he regards you. Â
âYeah. Yeah, maybe I do.â
Heâs smiling again as he leans down and kisses youâa slow, lingering thing which tastes like spearmint as you part your lips for him.Â
âPlease?â you whisper against him after a long moment. He hums, keeps kissing you.Â
âWhat is it that you think you want? You donât even know what youâre asking for.â
âTell me,â you beg, chasing his lips. âTell me what youâre going to do with me. We can talk about it. This is talking about it.â
Spencer exhales deeply, wedging a thigh between yours. Immediately you clamp around it, trying not to grind against him too overtly.Â
âYou want to know what Iâd do to you?â
âYesââ you paw at his jacket. Surprisingly, he doesnât stop you from pushing it off. Your heart pounds.Â
âWell⌠we both know how anxious you get,â he muses, pressing his lips so delicately to your fluttering pulse-point in emphasis, and then back to your mouth. His thigh pushes harder against you to supplant the absence of his lips as he speaks, though he kisses you sporadically and between sentences. âYouâre hard to get out of your head when youâre nervous, you know that? I watch it happen. One minute youâre with me, and then you start overthinking, and getting self-conscious. The only thing that seems to relax you is letting me touch youâso first I would touch you like Iâve touched you before. Iâd make sure you know how pretty you are and how good you deserve to feel.â You whimper inadvertently at his words, arching into him and grinding against his leg as he pauses to kiss the sensitive soft spot below your jaw. âYouâre going to need to be really ready to let me in. Do you know what I mean by that?â
As he asks, he pushes his thigh against you harder. Your body responds immediately, arching into him and seeking more friction. When you squeak, he takes it as a no.Â
âI mean I need you relaxed and wet. Youâll excuse my crude language.â
You pull at his tie, breathing heavier now and so turned on itâs almost painful.Â
âWhat are you gonna do after that?â
âWhat else is there to do but fuck you after that?â he breathes. âYou want me to tell you how Iâd fuck you?â
Something about it makes you whine salaciously. Youâve heard him curseâyouâve even heard him talk about fucking you. But it feels more real now; when itâs low in your ear and youâre covertly undressing him and heâs pushing your shirt over your stomach promisingly.Â
âYes, please.âÂ
He hums against your jaw, nipping and brushing his lips over the skin as he considers. Leaves you waiting.Â
âI would have to take my time with you. Youâll be overwhelmed. I know you think you wonât, but you will. Iâm going to have to be so, so careful with you, angel. Itâs going to drive me insane. But it will feel good for you.â
âWhy careful? I donât want that.â
He chuckles. A chill runs down your spine.Â
âYeah, you do. Youâre going to want me to be careful when Iâmââ he pauses, pressing his thumb to your bare lower tummy and dragging up to a spot below your belly button. He presses down lightly again. âRight here. Approximately.â
The surface of the sun has nothing on the temperature of your skin in this moment, as you writhe underneath him in both arousal and embarrassment. Mostly, burning need. You feel almost sick with it.Â
âPlease donât make me wait anymore. Just do it, please, Spencer. I need it to be you, I donât want it to be anyone else. I promise Iâm ready.â
Itâs silent for a moment. Your heart quickens. You sense his walls wearing away, his instinct to keep you intact for god knows what reason crumbling. Heâs finally going to give you what youâve been begging for.Â
Spencer opens his mouth, eyes glimmeringâ
And then his phone rings.Â
You both freezeâhe melts dejectedly before you do, more accustomed to an ill-timed phone call and realizing the finality it can present.Â
Heâs breathing heavily against your neck, as if maybe whoever it is will just hang up. But the phone keeps ringing.Â
âIâm sorry.â
Your stomach sinks as he sits up, grabbing his phone from the side table and rubbing circles on your inner thigh as he answers.
âThis is Reid,â he says, lackluster.Â
If you wanted, you could hear what Penelope is sayingâbut you donât bother listening. Itâs going to be a case. Spencer is about to leave. The details are his problem.Â
âOkay. Iâll be there in an hour.â
He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the mattress and not speaking for a moment, just continuing to rub your leg apologetically. Watching you almost mournfullyâtaking in your disheveled hair, your likely blown-out pupils, the shirt pushed almost over your chest.Â
âI have to go right now,â he finally manages with a heavy sigh, gently pulling your shirt back into place.Â
You sit up, shedding all the hopes that had been building for the evening, and try to sound chipperâthough all you feel is bitter disappointment that goes deeper than you understand.Â
âI know. Go ahead, I can get a cab home.â
He frowns, running his hand over the back of your hair.Â
âI donât love the idea of you standing on the sidewalk waiting for a car in this part of town so late. Do you just want to stay here for the night and go home tomorrow?â
You force a smile. Great. So youâll be spending the night in his bed after allâjust without him.Â
âSure. Thanks.â
âYeah.â
Neither of you are feeling particularly grateful.Â
Soon youâre walking him to his own door. Both of you come to a stop in front.Â
âIâm sorry,â he sighs again.Â
âSpencer, itâs fine. Itâs your job. You donât need to apologize. You were very clear about this part when we started dating.â
âI know, but⌠itâs easier in theory than in practice.â
You smile. If Spencer is a reflection of you, it doesnât quite reach your eyes. His hair is still messy from your fingers running through it and heâs missing his tie. You hope all his coworkers see and feel bad about taking him away from you.Â
But itâs not their fault. You just want someone to blame.Â
Instead you mould yourself to his body, wrapping around him like you belong there. He returns your embrace, pressing his lips into the crook of your shoulder and rubbing your back in that way he always does with you.Â
In that moment, your affection for him becomes so profound itâs like a chemical reactionâeverywhere he touches burns and you love him so fucking much it aches in every inch of your body the way your muscles do when you have a bad fever. Love is the most terrible of afflictions, you realize. It is a fever dream. Itâs every fiber of your being screaming to tell him how you feel, to beg him on your knees not to go because you love him like a child loves a parent or a bee loves honeysuckle or the ocean loves the horizon. Pared down to your most basic components, the barest version of yourself, you require him. Your soul needs his soul.Â
âSpencer?â
âHm?âÂ
Itâs nothing more than an absentminded hum against your skin.Â
âIâŚâ
Should you be looking him in the eye when you say this? Should you say it right before he has to leave? Just because you say it doesnât change the fact that heâs about to be gone for several long days. Maybe this is a terrible time to admit something that suddenly feels so true and so consequential.Â
He senses your internal conflict, pulling back despite your resistance and holding your face between his hands.Â
âYou what?â He murmurs, soft eyes bouncing back and forth between your own. Fuckâyou feel so observed, now. Like he can read your mind.Â
âI forget.â
FUUUUUUCK.Â
Spencer blinks. Processes. You watch the disbelief crystallizing over his eyes like ice freezing over a lake.Â
He knows.Â
He knows you didnât forget, and he probably knows what you were going to say, and heâs going to tell himself he was wrong to spare your dignity.Â
Everything hurts when he kisses you. You wonder what regret tastes like.Â
âWell, let me know if you remember.â
Itâs too gentle and at the same time he canât hide the edge with all the tenderness in the world. You nod as if in a trance, already looking forward to dissociating as you lie in bed and stare at the dark ceiling.
Two small goodbyes are exchanged, slightly stifled now, as if shared between drunk strangers who have sobered up and are mutually embarrassed about how candidly theyâd interacted before.Â
You close the door behind him, doing up all the locks, and meticulously flick every light switch in the apartment off before climbing into his bedâthough you donât really feel like you deserve to be there anymore.
But perhaps this is all an overreaction. Itâs not like you owe it to him to say I love you, or anythingâit was bad timing, anyway. And why canât he say it? In fact, why hasnât he said it?Â
Maybe you have it all wrong.Â
Maybe he doesnât feel that way about you.Â
You fall asleep before you allow these questions to make you sick.Â
24 hours go by.Â
24 hours go by and you really had meant to leave his apartmentâit was just that you woke up late, and your phone was dead so you couldnât call a car, so you charged it while you made breakfast, and then you ate, and then you decided to take a shower and wash your clothes, and then it was two in the afternoon and you hadnât left yet and you decided to walk to the store and replenish the groceries youâd used up.Â
Maybe you got a bit distracted looking at flowers and other beautiful things at the market and by the time you got home it was 5:00, so you decided to wait until seven to skip rush hour. And then eight, just to be sure.Â
Before you know it, itâs midnight, and youâre dozing off in his bed again (teeth cleaned with the brush youâd bought at the storeâmaybe this whole situation hadnât been entirely unwitting on your part.)
Throughout the day, you tried to let all your anxiety about the previous night melt away. If itâs something that needs to be addressed, Spencer will address it. Everything will work out in the end. That thought is how youâre able to doze off.Â
Youâre almost asleep when your phone lights up and begins buzzing on the side table. You wince as your eyes open, not adjusting well to the harsh bright display and unable to discern whoâs even calling you at this hour. Stupidly, probably because youâre half asleep, you answer without checking.Â
âHello?â
Your voice is groggy, quiet with sleep.Â
âShit, did I wake you?â
âSpence?â you whisper, stomach flipping at the sound of his voice on the other line. You feel caught, still sleeping in his bed.Â
â⌠yeah,â he chuckles. âDid you not check who was calling before you picked up?â
âI was asleep,â you pout. âKinda.â
âOkay. Go back to sleep, honey. Weâll talk tomorrow.â
You sit bolt upright, phone balanced between tense fingers and speaking directly into the microphone.Â
âNo! No, Iâm awake. Whatâs up? Why did you call?â
A longer stretch of silenceâyouâre too sleepy to comprehend what it might mean, though never too sleepy to worry about it. With a pang of pain, you recall your strange goodbye, the words you hadnât said.Â
âI just needed to hear your voice,â he sighs. You frown, staring at nothing in particular in the pitch black room.Â
âOh. Is everything okay?â
âAs much as it can be.â
âRight.â
More quiet. You chew on the inside of your cheek, stricken with a sudden feeling of awkwardness that you havenât had with Spencer in a while.Â
âIâm sorry⌠I donât really know what to say.â
âThatâs okay,â he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice which makes you feel a bit better, âwhy donât you tell me about your day? Or you can absolutely go back to sleep, if youâre too tired.â
âDonât ask me about my day,â you whisper, flopping down on the bed once more. Shame seeps into your voice. He laughs.Â
âWhat? Why?â
âBecause if I tell you youâre going to think Iâm super weird and youâre going to break up with me.â
Laughter tapers off into gentler tones.Â
âI already think youâre super weird. Itâs actually one of your most attractive qualities.â
Blood rushes to your cheeks.Â
âBut itâs like⌠borderline crazy.â
Immediately, he replies, âfor better or worse, I also frequently find myself attracted to crazy.â
âThank you for calling me crazy and super weird,â you grumble.Â
âI also called you attractive twice. Tell me.â
When his tone takes on that easy, assertive quality, and itâs sort of raspy and low because itâs late and heâs been talking all day, and you can hear the lazy smile on his faceâyou imagine him laying on his hotel bed, arm slung over his eyes in the dark as he grins into the microphoneâyou have a very difficult time saying no.Â
âFine. Guess where I am right now.â
âUm, I would hope youâre in bed?â
You smile to yourself, basking in the victory of successfully throwing him off his game even slightly.Â
âGuess whose bed.â
Silence.Â
âWhat an interesting question.â That cocky smile, the low drawling is back, and you chew on your lip, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine. âIf itâs not mine or yours, weâre going to have issues.â
âBut if it is yours? Youâre not going to call the police on me?â
âWhy would I call the police? To tell them thereâs a pretty girl in my bed and I donât want her there?â
âTo tell them your psychopathic girlfriend broke into your apartment and might be holding hostages there.â
Spencer laughs; a brittle, drawn out thing, flat and quiet as the desert.
âIf you were a psychopath, calling the cops would be a waste of time. I would handle you myself.â The idea of being handled has your thighs clenching. âButâyeah, donât invite anyone else in.â More humor finds its way into his voice, momentarily relieving some tension that had sneakily begun to build. âHaving people in my space makes me anxious.â
âBut not me?â Your whisper is half flirtatious, half insecure. Spencerâs reply is soft, as if heâs picking up on this from hundreds of miles away.
âNo, not you. You are always the exception.â
âGood,â you say, cheeks aching as you half-bury your warm face into his pillow. âBecause I made myself really comfortable. You have a nice shower, by the way.â
Spencer groans.Â
âYouâre killing me.â
âWhat? What did I do!â
âDonât talk to me about my bed and my shower. I might start to think youâre intentionally being a brat.â
âYou asked me about my day! Iâm just telling you what I did!â
But youâre also intentional teasing him for sure.  After a pause, he sighs in defeat.Â
âYouâre right. I did do that. Tell me what else happened.â
âWell,â you begin, all too eager, âI had to put my clothes in the dryer after I got out, so I borrowed some of yours. But then they were way comfier than mine, so after I went to the store I put them back on, andââ
âOkay.â
âOkay what?â you frown.Â
âTell me what this is.â
âIâI donât know what you mean.â
Lying to a profiler is usually pointless.Â
âIâm not stupid, sweetheart. Tell me why you keep talking about my shower and my bed and my clothes.â
Caught red-handed. Your skin heats up.Â
âI donât know. I miss you.â
He hums in a way that blurs the line between sympathetic and patronizing. Even through the phone you can feel the bass of it in your bones.  It changes the frequency youâre vibrating at. Itâs hypnotic.Â
âBut thatâs not really why youâre being intentionally provocative, is it?â
âNo,â you admit quietly. âIâm still upset you had to go last night.â
âSo youâre frustrated and youâre taking it out on me?â
Your brow furrows. Well, when he puts it like thatâŚ
âIâm not taking anything out on you.â
âI think you are. And I donât appreciate that, because Iâm on your side, honey. Do you think I prefer being in a hotel bed by myself or being in my bed with you?â
Somehow, he makes you feel like a scolded child. But he makes it appealing in ways you donât understand.Â
âYour bed with me,â you murmur, skin prickling with the coldness of his absence even as you curl under the blanket.Â
âRight. So why donât you tell me what I can do for you right now, instead of punishing me for things that are beyond my control?â
âI wasnât punishing you,â you mutter.Â
âNo? You werenât intentionally talking about using my shower and sleeping in my bed and putting on my clothes so that Iâd have to think about what I canât have right now?â
âIââ
âBelieve me when I tell you I have been thinking about what I canât have, all day. Your efforts are entirely redundant and you canât say anything about yourself that is even close to as dirty as the frankly disrespectful thoughts Iâve been having about you for seventeen hours.â
The lack of air is making you so dizzy your vision goes gray at the edges.Â
âWhat⌠what thoughts?â
âNone that you need to concern yourself with.â
âYou canât just say something like that and then not tell me!â you insist. Heâs obviously giving you a taste of your own medicine and itâs fair but it doesnât mean you have to like it.Â
âI can do whatever I want,â Spencer corrects cooly in a way that pisses you off beyond belief because heâs right. It triggers some adolescent immaturity within youâa desire to get back at him, so to speak. He wants intentionally provocative? He can have it.Â
âFine. Then so can I. And thereâs nothing you can do to stop me.â
âI wouldnât dream of it even if I could.â
âSpencer,â you warn. âIf you donât tell me what you were thinking Iâm gonnaââ you look around the room for ammo. âIâm gonna look through your nightstand!â
âGo ahead. Iâll warn you, itâs not very interesting.â
âSounds like what someone who has something hide would say,â you mumble, crawling across the mattress through tangled sheets and using your phone flashlight to open the drawer.Â
Spencer is patient and silent as you take in its contentsâa small blue leather-bound notebook (full of what looks like Russian), a fountain pen, a glasses case, various kinds of vitamins, andâ
âSpencer Reid,â you say, dragging out his name and pretending nothing is fluttering in your stomach, âwhat are these?â
âI donât know. I canât see what youâre referring to.â
âTake a wild guess.â
âOh, I have one. But Iâd like to hear you say it.â
You realize you may have gotten yourself in deeper than you meant to by going through his stuff. Wellâthey donât say karma is a bitch for nothing.Â
âWhat are you doing with a box of condoms?âÂ
He chuckles and you feel it in your whole body, warm as you stretch across his mattress and eye the box like it might jump out at you.Â
âThose are years old. Iâve used three since I bought them.â
âDonât tell me that,â you whine. âI donât wanna think about all the other women youâve seduced.â
âYou wanted them to be for you, huh?âÂ
You flush. Honestly you hadnât even thought about that.Â
âI⌠I donât know. I kind of just assumedâŚâ
Itâs silent for a second and you frown, realizing you hadnât even considered protection when youâd imagined sleeping with him before.Â
âYou assumed what, honey?â he asks, voice soft.Â
âItâs dumb. I canât tell you.â
âYou can tell me anything. Iâm not going to think itâs dumb, I promise.â
You chew on your lip, letting your eyes unfocus on the box as you muster the courage to be honest.Â
âWhenever I imagined it⌠we didnâtâŚÂ use anything.â
The words make you cringe even as youâre saying them. So does the quiet that follows.Â
âWhen you imagine us sleeping together, we donât use a condom?â
âAh!â The phone drops to the mattress as you cover your ears and roll onto your side, curling into yourself once more. âYou didnât have to say it! You make me sound so weird!â
âItâs not weird,â he laughs, because he can probably imagine exactly what you just did, âI just wanted to make sure I was understanding you. That said⌠we would definitely use protection.â
âDo we have to?â
The quiet words take even you by surpriseâand they seem to stun Spencer as well. Several false starts are punctuated by a sigh as he gathers his thoughts.Â
âWe really should, baby. Thatâs the kind of thing we need to take seriously.â
âBut youâre⌠youâre good, right?â
Thankfully he picks up on your meaning.Â
âI am. I wouldnât touch you if I werenât.â
âAnd Iâm good. So...â
âHm. And has anyone ever explained to you where babies come from?â
You groan in frustration.Â
âSpencer, Iâm being serious! There are ways to negate that.â
âHoney,â he murmurs, âI understand that. But it would be irresponsible of me to say yes. We can talk about it in the future, butââ
âIâm telling you itâs already dealt with. The chances of an accidental pregnancy are slim to none.â
The new information hangs in the air for a moment until Spencer speaksâto your surprise, his voice is low and humorous.Â
âThat is⌠good to know. But even soâIâm setting a dangerous precedent if I always let you get exactly what you want.â
âIs it such a bad thing that I just wannaâI wanna know what it feels like? You donât want that?â
âThatâs not what I said. I want to know exactly what you feel like. Iâm just hesitant to give in so quickly because it makes me look weak.â
You laugh breathlessly, caught between being turned on by the first part of his sentence and amused by the sarcastic second half. Your thighs clench and your hand absentmindedly wanders between them.Â
âYou know what I was thinking about?â you ask. Spencer hums curiously. âI was thinking about when you let me, um⌠when you let me touch you how you touch me.â He hums again, but you can hear the amused curve of a smile in it now.
âWhen you had your mouth all full of me and you looked so pretty?â
âWhen Iâyeah,â you agree, too caught up to deny his compliment as your fingers brush your most sensitive spot through clothing. âAnd  how you got me all messy after. And I was wondering what it would feel like⌠inside me.â
He sucks in a breath. Your legs brush against each other and you twist slightly as you pretend like youâre not touching yourself just a little bit.Â
âYou want me to come inside you?â
âYeah,â you whisper, brain short-circuiting at the way those words sound in his voice.Â
â
On the other side of the line, Spencer isnât doing a fantastic job of thinking clearly either. His dick is half-hard already and itâs only getting worse with each little noise you make that you donât seem to realize youâre making.Â
âReally? That would be very messy, baby. Iâm surprised thatâs what you want.â
âBut I really want it,â you breathe. Heâs not even looking as he slips his hand under the waistband of his pajamas and palms himself, his other hand rubbing tiredly over his face as his phone rests on his chest. This was not how he intended for this call to go, believe it or notâbut heâs here now.Â
âYeah? Is that why youâre touching yourself right now?â
You go silentâwhich is more or less exactly the reaction Spencer had been expecting. Patiently he waits for you to deny it, in three, twoâ
ââM not.â
Now, he could explain how he knows thatâs a lie. How your breathing pattern changed, and your voice got softer and airier, and how you started speaking with smaller words in fragmented sentences. But he doesnât feel like explaining any of that.Â
âI know thatâs not true,â he murmurs. âYou know what? It wasnât fair to get you all worked up last night and then leave. I donât want you frustrated, honey. I want you to do whatever you need to do.â
You make a little gasping noise, and Spencer can imagine the way your back would arch when you did it. His own hips buck slightly as his dick twitches under his fingers.Â
âWhere are you touching?â
âUmâover my clothes.â
Cute.Â
âGo under them for me. Tell me how it feels when youâre touching yourself like that.â
It takes a moment, in which all he hears is the rustling of fabric, until youâre whispering, âfeels⌠it feels good. I wish you were here.â
He inhales, freeing his cock and squeezing the base.Â
âI know. Just listen to my voice, pretty. Iâm right here.â
Spencer allows himself a few slow tugs as he imagines whatâs happening in his bed. You make a squeaking noise, like a held-back moan, and his eyes screw shut.Â
âI need them inside,â you whine, and he knows youâre referring to his fingersâthe ones currently stroking his own leaking cock.Â
âYou can use your own, just give yourself a minute first. Remember what I said about needing to be ready?â
âI am readyââ judging by the surprised chirp you interrupt yourself with, youâve proven yourself right. What surprises Spencer is the weak sound of disappointment you make next. âSpence, it doesnât feel the same.â
âWeâre different sizes, honey. Your hands arenât as big as mine. But you can still make it feel good.âÂ
He almost says, 90% of the nerves in the vaginal canal are located in the lower thirdâin other words, within approximately 2.36 inches from the opening, which you can most certainly reachâbut he refrains. Heâs not sure if thatâs good dirty talk.Â
âYou have a really sensitive spot about three inches up, right in front. Itâs going to feel a little different than the rest of you when you touch it. I want you to try and find it for me, okay?â
âOkay,â you breathe, ever-eager to please even from a great distance. Thereâs a quiet moment. âI canâtâI donât think I can râoh,â
The moan is so pretty Spencer canât help speeding up the motion of his hand, hissing slightly as his fingers brush against the angry tip with every pump.Â
âDid you find it?â
âYeah,â you whine, a weak, high-pitched thing. âOh my god.â
âBe gentle,â he warns with some effort as his own hips jump slightly. âYouâre really sensitive there. If youâre not careful youâll make yourself sore.â
âI donât careâholy shitââ the way your voice rises and tightens to a squeak at the end has Spencer moaning as he fucks his fist. A black hole forms and warps time, turning every minute into a second and every second into an infinity until he has no idea how much time is going by. He drags his thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his cock and whining as his jaw drops at the feeling. âOh my god, Spencer,â in that same strained, high voice. ââM gonnaâah!â
He gets the general sentiment.Â
âWhat, baby? Youâre gonna make yourself come all over your fingers? Is that what you wanted to tell me?â
âMhm!â
âYeah, I bet you are. It feels good, huh?â
âYes,â you cry.Â
âSee? You donât need my fingers to feel good. Mine barely fit, you know that? I have to hold your fucking hips down whenever I put my fingers in you because you canât stop squirming. I donât know how you think youâre going to take my cock.â
âSpencer!âÂ
He knows.Â
âCome, baby. Let me hear you.â
The delicate sounds you make as you bring yourself to orgasm tip him over the edge of his ownâgrunting as he comes all over his fist.Â
âJesus,â he strains under his breath, the word dragging out into two long syllables as his hips buck involuntarily and cum drips down his knuckles. Heâs lightheaded and heâs created a mess and it all happened so quickly. âFuck,â he breathes, a rasping chuckle as he reaches for the towel heâd dropped on the bed after his shower earlier. âYou conscious over there?â
âIâm conscious,â you slur, breathing heavily. âIâve never had an orgasm by myself before.â
âAre you proud of yourself?â Spencer smiles, wiping his hand off and making sure heâs otherwise clean. âYou should be. I am.â
Heâs barely kidding.Â
âIâll be proud when I can do it without your help,â you tease.Â
âBut Iâll always want to help you with that.â His already warm face flushes further as he goes over what heâd said. âSorry I was so vulgar.â
You laugh. He blushes even more.Â
âAre you? I think you secretly love being vulgar.â
âI donât know why! I have no idea where it comes from. I would never speak that way in any other context. I should probably work on that. Sometimes I look back on the things I say and Iâm genuinely appalled.â
âWell, donât stop on my account. Personally I enjoy it.â
âYeah, I think Iâm corrupting you. You probably shouldnât enjoy it.â
The truth of it weighs heavy on his mind, but heâs pretty sure his voice alone doesnât betray that and you canât sense it through the phone.Â
âOh, my god. Do not do that falling on your sword shit. I like being corrupted by you. If you stop Iâll be very upset.â
âWell god forbid you get upset,â he teases gently. Idly he wonders if the reason heâs suddenly feeling so depressed is because his cortisol levels were already high from the case, and then he jarred his system with an orgasm, spiking his dopamine and ultimately causing it to plummet without the oxytocin release that post-coital physical contact would usually provide.Â
Or if it was something else. It could also be something else.Â
For the millionth time, he wishes he was with you. Part of him also wants to go to sleep. But mostly he wishes he was with you.Â
â
A comfortable silence settles over the conversation. In the ditch between words, youâre mapping constellations in the texture of Spencerâs ceiling. If you squeeze your eyes almost shut, you can imagine it really is the night sky. You can imagine heâs really here.Â
You think about what he saidâhis apparently mindless vulgarity. Did it mean anything? Or was he just rambling to get you off?
âSpencer?â you murmur.Â
âYeah?â
âCan I ask you a question?â
He sounds earnest, perhaps a little tired, as he replies, âalways,â through the little metal rectangle on your chest. He likes me and my questions are important to him, you repeat to yourself silently as you work up the strength.Â
âIf Penelope hadnât called, last night⌠were you going to have sex with me?âÂ
Your lip tastes like his toothpaste as you chew it. Spencer sucks in a breath of air like heâs about to speakâand lets it fizzle out like foam on a carbonated drink.Â
âI donât know,â he finally admits, lamely. âThat wasnât my plan, but you can be extremely convincing when you want to be.â
âBut why canât it be your plan?â Itâs an almost whine, pouty and childishâbut the next words are quiet and pained. âIs it something Iâm doing wrong?â
âNo, no! Itâs not you. Youâre perfect. Itâsâitâs complicated. Itâs a me thing.â
Such trite wordsâsuch a ubiquitous, simple excuse sounds almost comical from his mouth when you know heâs capable of all the eloquence in the world. Itâs not you, itâs me. Itâs ridiculous.Â
âOkay. Let me simplify this for you,â you begin with an uncharacteristic assertiveness that surprises even you. âI want to have sex with you. Either we are going to have sex or weâre not. So your future branches in two diverging paths. In one, we have sex, and then we keep having sex. In the other we never have sex ever. If you want to ever have the privilege of fucking me, then we just have to do it. Otherwise it simply will never happen. And Iâm not eternally patient, Reid.â
Go me, you think, slightly breathless from your monologue.Â
âWatch your mouth,â he says dryly. Something about the chastisement makes your stomach flip and your whole body tingle. âWhen you talk to me you call me Spencer. I will also accept Doctor Reid.â You wrestle down a smile, refusing to let him change the subject. A delayed sigh from him sobers up the conversation. âYou know what I want. Iâve been very clear with you about that. ButâŚâ
âButâŚ?â
Another sigh. A deeper, shuddering sigh, like his breath is searching for balance. Like Spencer is in a precarious position for which he was unprepared.Â
âButâbut to be completely honest⌠I worry that youâll regret choosing me. And I know virginity is a social construct and Iâm not implying that your worth will somehow be diminished if we have sex but regardless of my views on virginity as a construct, having sex for the first time can be weird and scary and itâs incredibly intimate and I donât want you to regret your first time like I regret mine because you chose the wrong person.â
The words come at you so rapid-fire it takes you a moment to process them. And aside from all the ways you want to reassure him that you will not regret choosing himâthat you could never, ever regret anything about himâone thing stands out.Â
âYou regret your first time?âÂ
Something between a scoff and a sigh travels through the line. You can tell heâs not annoyed at you for asking so much as heâs flustered himself with all his own words as he occasionally does.Â
âYeah. Yes. Sometimes I do. The personâshe didnâtâŚÂ like me as much as I liked her. And I was really, really in love with her, and she knew that and she knew she wasnât in love with meâor maybe she was, I donât knowâbut my point is, when one person likes the other more than the other person like them, things get complicated. And however you feel about meâthatâs fine. Itâs fine. I donât want you to feel bad if we donât feel exactly the same way about each other. I understand that this is newer for you, itâs different, IâI just donât want us to do something we canât undo because I donât want to relive that. And Iâm not saying it will never happen but I just donât want you to make this choice when⌠when right now, I think weâre in different places emotionally. Regardless of that, I want you to choose the right person. I donât want you to choose me and then find out that we feel differently after we sleep together and leave you feeling like you signed up for something you didnât understand. Iâm sorry. Maybe telling you this is selfish. But Iâve been thinking about it and trying to ignore it and I think I just have to be completely honest.â
Your ears ring like Spencer just fired a blank right into the microphone. Like you just got backhanded across the face and now you have the worldâs worst case of whiplash.Â
Every finger is numb and your blood is so cold it feels blue as it slithers thick through your veins.Â
What you want to do is scream. What you want to do is go back to last night and stop yourself from almost telling him I love you, slap yourself and keep your cards a little closer to your chest. Because now he knows, and he doesnât feel the same.Â
You want to scream bloody murder.Â
But when you try, when you unhinge your jaw and part your chapped lips and expect a bellow to come hurdling up the corridor of your throat with so much force it rattles your bones, all that falls out is a small, âoh.â
Maybe thatâs worse.Â
Spencer doesnât reply. You hate yourself for feeling obliged to fill the silence.Â
âI didnât realize youâŚâ
I didnât realize that you donât love me back.Â
I didnât realize I like you more than you like me.Â
I didnât realize youâd tell me to masturbate in your fucking bed and then drop this not even five minutes later.Â
If Spencer Reid was able to talk to you over the phone with the same amount of affection and familiarity as always, like everything was still okay, knowing you love him and he doesnât love you the whole time, he is not who you thought he was.Â
âIâm sorry,â he lamely says again, like it could ever help.Â
More silence. Now you canât bring yourself to speak, so Spencer does.Â
âI realize how awkward this is. I really didnât mean to put you in this position. Especially not over the phone when Iâgod, Iâm stupid. Iâm sorry. But can weâcan we talk about this in person when I get back? Please?â
Is that what grownups do? Is the proper etiquette for him to take you out to dinner and explain why heâs not in love with you? Is he going to break up with you?
What does one even wear to a breakup date?
âOkay,â you whisper. Your eyes sting, your everything stings, like youâve been wrapped in a shroud of briar. Sheets that were soft a moment ago feel like sandpaper on open wounds. You feel like an open wound.Â
Spencer sighs. Itâs a sound of relief that confuses and hurts you even more.Â
âOkay. Iâokay. Thank you. UmâIâll let you go back to sleep, now.â
âOkay,â you repeatâas if any of this were okay. But you canât keep being that stupid girl who feels it all so much harder, who loves easily and begs to be loved in return, too naive to assume that someone who treats her so kindly might not reciprocate her feelings. It has to be okay, because if itâs not, youâre silly and dramatic and youâre just proving him right.Â
âGoodnight,â Spencer whispers, and you canât help but feeling that itâs the last time youâll ever hear those words from his mouth while youâre in his bed. And heâs not even fucking here.
So you pull the blanket a little higher. You let your tears stain his pillow because theyâll be invisible by the morning. It will be like they were never here. Like you were never here.Â
âGoodnight.â
-
part five
#spencer reid#spencer reid fic#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds#criminal minds smut#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic
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at first I thought it was endearing to see the doctor constantly being like "oh do I say things like that now? is this who I am?" because it's an old face but with all the experiences and changes that come with living longer. so unlike ten, fourteen is open about his feelings because there were lingering regrets with not telling people how she felt as thirteen
BUT NOW. not-donna saying you're scared. because of the flux. because the universe destroyed itself just in the chance it could destroy you. and you know now that you're not from gallifrey and that scares you. because the doctor is scared. everything they ever knew is thrown out because on top of everything an old face came back and the doctor can't figure out why
the timeless child and the flux just being MENTIONED brought the doctor to frightened tears and we have never seen anything like that before. the doctor is so so lost and just wants to know who they are. so regenerating into something new but old has thrown them off so much that at every turn he thinks "huh. is this who I am?" and it is so strange to see the doctor unsure about themself, questioning their identity every second. and it is HEARTBREAKING
#HE JUST WANTED TO HUG DONNA I'M DEVASTATED đđ#ALSO I WAS SO SCARED WE WERE JUST GONNA IGNORE JODIE'S ERA BUT WE STAY FUCKING WINNING#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#doctor who special#wild blue yonder#dw spoilers#dw specials#dw 60th#tenth doctor#fourteenth doctor#thirteenth doctor#the doctor
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secret admirer part eighteen
767 words
one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen
Steve isnât sure what to do. He knows what he wants to do. He wants to stuff Eddieâs locker full with every thought heâs had in the past week and a half without an outlet. But would he be receptive to that?
By practice the next morning heâs decided that heâll give it a try and then see if Eddieâs still wearing the ring.
He figures the boy isnât ready to talk about it face-to-face yet, given he brought out the ring instead of simply talking to him. Then he had the gall to ask Steve if he was okay.
No. Heâs really not.
Eddie you talk with your hands a lot itâs hypnotizing it was one of the first things i noticed about you at the beginning of the year i never knew what you were saying from so far away but i felt like i was in on the conversation just from that and i never feel like that, so thank you p.s. iâve missed talking to you well, not talking, but you know p.s.s. i could definitely say more but i donât wanna bombard you so weâll save all that for later thank you for giving me another chance
Steve is nervous walking into the lunch room. For the first time since he switched, he takes his usual seat on the side of the table where Eddie is in his line of sight.Â
Steve was worried that he would have changed his mind and taken the ring off, but there it is on his right hand.Â
Steve actually engages in conversation with Tommy and Carol for the rest of lunch so Eddie doesnât see him staring, even if he feels a little better about it now that Eddie knows who he is and is still wearing the ring.Â
Out of the corner of his eye, though, he catches sight of Eddie talking animatedly to his friends, arms waving this way and that, perhaps a bit more than usual and Steve has to tamp down a smile.Â
They donât talk in class until the bell rings and Steve realizes Eddie didnât say where they were meeting after class today.Â
He must have forgotten all about it because he goes to stand up and Steve has to catch him by the wrist before he makes his escape. Eddie jerks back out of instinct and shoots him a questioning look. Steve busies himself with packing his bag to avoid eye contact. âWanna meet at Bennyâs? On me?â he asks tentatively.
Eddie bats his lashes. âSteve Harrington wants to buy little olâ me a milkshake from Bennyâs Burgers? Oh my,â he says breathily, fanning himself.
Despite him raising the pitch of his voice several octaves to sound more feminine, Steveâs face still burns. Oh god.Â
Steve rolls his eyes and swings his backpack over his shoulder. âIs that a yes?â
Eddie nods, pulling a piece of his hair over his face and as cute as the whole blushing maiden act is, Steve has to resist reaching out to tuck the hair back in place so he can see his smile.Â
He bites his lip and backs away. âSee you there, Munson.â
âYup, see you there, Harrington.â
â â â âÂ
They donât talk much once they get going on their projects. Eddie, of course, attempts multiple times to catch sight of Steveâs portrait.Â
He even goes as far as to sneak up on him on his way back from the bathroom, not thinking Steve would be anticipating the act. Steve had pulled a blank piece of paper out of his bag and placed it over his actual project. On the paper, he drew a stick figure with Eddieâs haircut and huge eyes. Remembering how much Eddie had seemed to like Steveâs more unsettling attempts at art, Steve made the eyes as realistic as he could manage while the rest of the thing looked like a child had drawn it in a hurry.Â
Steve didnât even know Eddie had come out of the bathroom until he heard laughing and wheezing coming from behind him.Â
He didnât turn around. He simply sipped his strawberry milkshake until Eddie fell into his seat once heâd calmed down. The boy pouted for all of two seconds before breaking out into a smile and commending Steveâs foresight.Â
Once they pack up and Steve pays the bill, they make their way outside and he pulls out the prank drawing.Â
âHere,â he says, holding it out to Eddie.Â
âFor me?â The smile he gets in return is beaming.
Steve rides that high well into the next day.
nineteen
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sorry if i missed anyone!!
#NOTE NUMBER TEN I REPEAT NOTE NUMBER TEN#the way this was lowk a date#wrote this instead of sleeping#<3#steve harrington#eddie munson#pre steddie#steddie
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¤Â  đ.DORE YOU ⨠ě´íŹěš âŠ
ę° synopsis ęą all hopes were crushed when you realized there was no way to get close to your crush, choi beomgyu. your advances to get close to him never seemed to work. so, you decided to get closer to his best friend, heeseung, by joining the broadcasting club. but as scripts change, so do crushes, and you end up falling for his best friend instead.
⸠auditions are open . . . !
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¤âMATCHMAKER ââ crush's bsf ! heeseung x reader
fast forward ââ [ genre ] : written, fluff, 90s/20th century girl au, slowburn
meet the members ! beomgyu, soobin, jungwon, karina, rei, sunghoon, lia, my ocs
warnings 𧡠angst but also teeth rotting fluff, suggestive â kissing; making out, cursing, skinship, afab reader, mentions of parties and underage drinking, slowburn like actual slowburn u might fall asleep, heeseung has mommy and daddy issues (erm), mentions of injuries (nothing serious) heeseung is mean at first gn, heeseung typical cold kdrama ml, beomgyu fboy era real (01z on top what can I say) lmk if there's anything I missed!
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¤he's a real catch âš 23K (lol what.)
â [ archives ] one result found . . . hi hi my heeseung long fic era is finally here !! also happy early birthday to my sewlmate @yenqa hope u like my silly little work books butt!!! I had the urge to write a hee fic after watching a time called you (but my inspo is mostly from 20th century girl) also yes I tried a diff type of writing so hopefully it doesn't come out as childish eurm and I did not mean to make it this long bye also ty yen yen for making my synopsis and for proof reading !! (love ya stinkabutt) alsooo the end won't be like the end?? like ill write some drabbles for this!! I just wanted to get this over with lmao anyways hope you enjoy !! reblogs and comments r very much appreciated ^^
The fall of nineteen-ninety-six marked a pivotal moment in your life. Ever since you came into the world, you never really could grasp the concept of love. You wrapped your head around the myths and tales your mother would read to you every night. You thought that every princess would have her own shining knight in armour. So after thirteen years of living, where was yours?
Your knight in shining armour, or knights in shining armour, existed within the pages of the comic books you read. You often wondered if they would magically pop out of your books and transport you into their world.
Similarly, you wondered whether any of the characters from your adored TV shows would step out and bring you into their lives.
So, it wasn't a surprise when your jaw dropped to the ground as you saw the most beautiful man in your life (well, technically, boy). If the epitome of beauty was a fourteen-year-old boy, it would be Beomgyu.
But it wasnât just his face that made your thirteen-year-old self swoon over him, it was also the way he acted. You loved the way he conversed, his smooth way of talking at a young age and the way he smiled at you every time he made jokes with his friends. You loved how his eyes lightened every time heâd pull a silly prank.
But the problem was, he never talked to you. You admired him from afar. You never actually had the guts to talk to him.
As if You were content with watching his funny actions from a distance. There were some moments when you pushed aside your nervousness and talked to him.
You remember having butterflies in your stomach the moment you first talked to him. There were times when you both were paired up as project partners for a biology assessment and at that moment, you swore you would have worshipped the floor that your biology teacher walked on due to her giving you an opportunity like this.
You knew this was an opportunity to make your move. And you did. You brought him small snacks with little notes on them. Gave him gifts regularly. Maybe even took lessons from your best friend on how to subtly flirt with him. You really thought you had him. Because whenever you used to play out these little acts, you saw the subtle smile on his face. You were so close. Itâs like the universe laid it out for you. Gosh, how lucky you were!
Luck. The luck that you thought you had. If luck was a person, you wouldâve tackled it to the ground already. Because the day you were about to confess to him was the day he announced his new girlfriend.Â
His first girlfriend. You doubt you called it âloveâ since the only thing she cared about was that he was popular and pretty. Thatâs it? All that girl could get from Beomgyu was his looks and his reputation. You couldâve scoffed at the sight.
Beomgyu was so much more than that. He was loyal, kind, and trustworthy. And she went for his looks. Even though she had him, you felt as if she was missing out on so much. You were partly sad due to them getting together and also due to Beomgyu getting used to his looks.
So, you were practically prancing when you heard the news of their breakup a month later. Did you care that Beomgyu was absolutely heartbroken? Well, yes, but you felt relieved that Beomgyu was finally unleashed from that mean troll's wrath.
And as he got older, he grew more handsome. And God did you love it. When you entered high school he was a completely different person. He had gotten more flirty and way more pretty. He was way out of your league.Â
Out of the years you were in this crappy high school, you made absolutely no improvement in your and Beomgyuâs relationship. Beomgyu, who kept getting new flings every summer and tons of situationships seemed to discard your existence. One could only say âWhat the fuck?â
Your thoughts swirled, and you had a collection of emotions roaming around your head until your best friend jolted you back into reality with a gentle nudge on the shoulder.
âAre you even listening?â Seoriâs voice cut through your thoughts, annoyed, since she had to explain what she was talking about in the first place.
âSorry, what were you saying?â you blinked, focusing your attention on your best friend.
She sighs, âI was saying that I think Doyoung is going to ask me out.â Seori pouts âWhy does he not get that I donât like him that way, jeez.â
Her ramble about her current boy toy washed out in the background. You were once back in your thoughts until you saw him heading into the cafeteria. Beomgyu entered the cafeteria, his smile widening at something his best friend said.Â
Lee Heeseung, Beomgyuâs best friend. His ride or die. As long as you can remember, they were attached to the hip. They were basically the package deal. If Beomgyu was the life of the party, Heeseung would hold up his hair while he threw up in the hostâs toilet. While Beomgyu was the exact depiction of a social butterfly, Heeseung remained aloof, keeping people at armâs length. You could only wonder how he dealt with Beomgyuâs outbursting personality.
âEarth to Y/n!â Seori snapped her fingers in front of your face which once again, brought you back to reality.
âSorry.â you sheepishly smiled looking at your best friend's annoyed face. Your friend followed the gaze you had fixed before looking over to her. And her eyes followed the trail of your alleged âmanâââ Beomgyu.
âHim again.â a sigh erupted from Soeri, having enough of your rambling over your four-year-old crush.
âIâm sorry, alright!â you pouted, your back hunching over the disappointing development between you two which was nowhere to be found. âHeâs just so cute, God!â
Your sigh was followed by your best friend. Not long after, your best friendâs fed-up expression converted into a rather eager one.
âI got it!â she exclaimed, her hand hitting your back while she practically screamed. You winced in pain as a few fellow students gave you judgemental stares.
âAll you have to do is be close with his best friend, Lee Heeseung.â she slowly said, almost like a mastermind coming up with a villainous planâwell, you would consider your best friend to be some sort of evil criminal.
But this, this opened new angles in your head. It felt like the universeâor more like your best friendâlaid it out for you again. Your once unsolvable puzzle showed a new direction, and the missing piece was all in front of you.Â
Okay, maybe you felt bad that you were going to use Heeseung like that, even looking forward to it. But, you were really desperate. To the point where you would actually be eager to attend Sunday mass just to ask God for Beomgyu to like you back or even spare one glance at you. Well, what could you do?Â
Out of excitement, you pulled Seori in for a hug with a squeal while giving her a kiss on the cheek which she in return, yelped. âSeori, youâre a genius!â
âYes, I know.â she laughed a bit, escaping your tight grip on her before wiping the spot you kissed her hastily with her hands.
âI mean, how hard could it be?âÂ
You smiled and your gaze went up to the boy you loved for most of your life, then slowly to the equally handsome boy next to him.
Jackpot.
âGod youâre such a pain to be friends with!â Beomgyu scoffed with a smirk underlying in his face, his hands in his pocket.
âWhat? What do you mean?â
âWell, you totally ignored that girlâs attempts to hit on you.â Beomgyu said, replaying the past moment that happened five minutes ago.
âWell, she was a nerd.â Heeseung shrugged, âNot exactly my type.â the boy said as they continued walking.
Beomgyu could only sneer at the hypocritic words coming out of his best friendâs mouth, âWhat do you think you are?â
Heeseung stopped in his tracks, taking great offence to the oh so harsh words said by Beomgyu, âDude.â
Beomgyu in return, slightly chuckled at his âhurtâ face.
âOnly kidding.â he said while they continued to walk to their next class, Beomgyu slightly bumping into Heeseung as a form of apology.
âYouâre lucky Iâm your best friend.â Beomgyu boasted. âOr you would be off with your little nerd antics.â he continued to tease the poor boy, loving the slight reactions his best friend gave.
âHonestly, what would you do without me?â he asked, giving a pat to Heeseungâs back which hurt too much for his liking.
They continued to stroll down the corridor, continuing the conversation with bits of banter here and there.
Beomgyu and Heeseung were basically peanut butter and jelly ââ they just clicked. Every time you saw or thought about Beomgyu, his other part of him was always there. But they were practically the opposite of each other. You would stay up late at night during your daily night sessions of thinking about Beomgyu where you would wonder how in the world they became friends.Â
Heeseung on one hand was the most isolated person youâve ever seen. His only friend was Beomgyu. You would only see him have a handful of acquaintances with his daily visits in the broadcasting club he was in.Â
Now Beomgyu was everything but isolative. He was the star of the school. Which meant he had a shit ton of friends. He was always the centre of attention. With his contagious laughter and a knack for mischief, he perfectly complemented Heeseungâs calm demeanour.Â
Heeseung felt like he was saved when Beomgyu walked in his life. No longer was he the lonely boy who sat alone in the cafeteria because they thought he was a weirdo or whatever. No longer was he the last to be picked for basketball in recess. He finally had a friend.
It was a bond that was made by the silliest circumstances. Heeseung still remembered it like it was yesterday. The day Beomgyu became his knight in shining armour. Back when Heeseung was five or six, he was troubled by the local elementary bullies he had to face every day at school. So he felt even more frustrated when he found himself stuck in a situation where he met his bully outside of school, in a park.Â
While almost being suffocated as he was being grabbed by the collar, a similar aged boy kicked his left buttock from the side so he would fall. It was a silly move, yes. A bit of screaming and newly learnt cuss words came out of the bullyâs mouth and a few threats made Beomgyu scared out of his ass.
He was a pussy in the first place. He always was. So this took him a lot of courage because he had to point out the wrong and fight for justice, or so his favourite superhero at the time said. So naturally after putting on a tough facade, it quickly crumbled when the bully was about to throw a punch which made Beomgyu grab Heeseungâs hand and run.Â
To this day, nothing really changed. Heeseung is still the same shy, quiet kid he was and Beomgyu was still a pussy who acts before he thinks. And together they were the perfect match for each other.Â
You walked through the bustling hallways, barely managing to make it out alive with the sweaty teens packed inside, chattering away. As usual, it was always packed the minute the annoying school bell rang. You held onto the strawberry flavoured juice box you bought earlier as a gift for Heeseung so he knows that you come with good intentions ââ kind of.
At the end of the corridor you made it to the broadcasting room. You felt a bit nervous, contemplating whether to do this or not. But you couldnât back out now. This was your last shot at getting close to Beomgyu. Obviously you couldnât.
You entered the meeting room with a nervous smile to see the faces of familiar people you saw in this school. The room looked cosy. There was obviously the recording studio across the room with a glass panel to see what was happening. A table in the middle, shelves with the older recordings of the morning announcements done by the seniors of the school, some bean bags here and there and a sofa at the end of the room. But what caught your eye the most was the little cork board hanging on one of the walls. It was decorated by a handful of polaroids of the broadcasting club.
At the corner of your eye, you saw one picture which relieved you a bit; a picture of Heeseung smiling as widely as he can. The picture brought a sense of happiness and removed the uneasy feeling you had in your stomach. He actually had feelings and wasn't a statue all the time.
Your thoughts were broken by the president of the club, Soobin. âHi, you must be Y/n, yeah?âÂ
To your eye level, you could only see his chest, so you had to look up to the sun to see his face. Jeez, was he tall. âHi, yes I am. I came to join the club.â You spoke up nervously.
âGreat! Welcome to the club, weâre happy to have you here.â Soobin warmly smiled, looking back at his members, prompting them to welcome, which earnt a cheery âhelloâ from everyone except for the boy sitting at the end of the table, secretly rolling his eyes which you clearly noticed.
You didnât know why he was like this with you. What did you do wrong? Well, technically you were about to do something wrong, considering the entire reason you joined the club was to use Heeseung as your own little puppet to get close with Beomgyu.
You sat on the only seat available, which was next to Karina. She greeted you with a comforting smile. A few minutes into the meeting and you already like you belong here even though you didnât know jackshit about broadcasting or the fact that you would be scared out of your mind to do the morning announcements.
But aside from that, you felt like you had a good time. Except one thing was bugging you. The most important thing you came for. Heeseung. He converted and engaged in the conversation but had kept a distance with you. You, who didnât do anything to him at all. More than you were hurt, you were confused. Trying to remember what you had done in the past to upset Heeseung, but none came to mind.
Every time you had given out a suggestion, everyone agreed except for him. He kept quiet when you opened your mouth. The uneasy feeling was eating you away so you leaned over to Karina.Â
âIs he always like this?â you asked her, your head discreetly pointing at Heeseung.
Karina followed your gaze and looked over to Heeseung, âLike what?â she looked over back to you, confused.
You hesitated for a second before spilling out the words, âIs he always this⌠cold?âÂ
Karina chuckled softly, âYes, but heâs sweet. Heâll take some time to warm up to you.â She reassured you, putting her hand on your shoulder. âDonât worry.â
This somewhat settled the uneasy feeling that roamed around your body. You engaged yourself back into the conversation the meeting currently had. And before you knew it, the meeting ended and the members bid Goodbye to each other, not forgetting about you.Â
Heeseung was quick to leave the club, simply waving to the people present in the club, looking past you with no emotion on his face. You felt like banging your head on the wall. What the heck did you do for him to hate you already? One look at you and he already despised you. Shit, were you that ugly? You touched your face, thinking if you looked unpresentable, but that didnât make sense. You looked fairly average and well there seemed to be nothing wrong with you.
Shit.Â
Did he find out about your plan already? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Thousands of thoughts roamed around your head, each laced with panic. It couldnât be. You hadnât told anybody else about the plan you came up with. If he did find out, he had every right to be mad at you. You were basically using him as your puppet to get closer to Beomgyu. A slow wave of guilt was creeping over you. You cleared your throat and you bid the members that were getting ready to leave, not letting the guilt get to you. You followed Heeseung out the door and down the stairs.
You saw him walking down the stairs, his bag draped over his shoulder.
âHeeseung! Wait!â you said, rushing down the stairs.Â
He turned around to see you rushing down to meet him, âHi, um⌠I thought you might like this.â you said, nervously as you handed the juice box over to him.
He took it and his gaze faltered down the drink in his hand. The next thing he did was one you never expected. He scoffed. He actually scoffed. Was something funny? You didnât get it because if there was something, youâd be the first one to laugh because you did not let any joke pass over your head. You were confused. Was he⌠laughing at you?Â
You were the first to speak, âDid I do something wrong?â
âIâm not thirsty.â he said, looking at you. His gaze made your knees tremble. What the hell was his problem?
He handed you back the drink, but it was the least of your concerns. âWell, Iâll see you on Monday.â you said, your voice suddenly sounding dull, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.
As you passed him you heard him mutter, âYou shouldnâtâ
âWhat?â you turned back. âI donât get what I did?â
âI just⌠Whyâd you even join?â he turned his body and looked at you.
âI felt like it. That shouldnât be a problem to you.â you sternly said, not caring if it came off as ârudeâ anymore.
âIt would. Youâd be bored after three months and leave.â you had the strongest urge to slap him in the face. You? Bored? Like hell you were going to be. Not when you can already foresee the future where heâs going to give you one hell of a nightmare.Â
âAnd then Soobin would have to hand over whatever comprehensible duty he gave over to you and put that on our backs.âÂ
You were more so shocked by his choice of words rather than angry. And currently, you wanted to pour the juice box you had in your hand over his head.
âWell I wonât, So donât hold your breath.â your nails pricked into the cardboard of the juice box you held, trying your hardest not to twitch your face or furrow your eyebrows.
He scoffed with a stupid smirk plastered on his face, shaking his head. Putting his hands into the pockets stitched to his trousers, he walked away from you.Â
âYou're just like the others.â
Heeseung walked away leaving you feeling annoyed as well as frustrated. He was a complete jerk! The reassuring words Karina said to you before was no use now. You were sure he didnât act like this when he first met the broadcasting members. So why was it only to you? But you decided itâs not worth caring anymore. He was just another obstacle in your path to making Beomgyu like you back. So you put aside your hurt feelings and straightened your back with one thing in mind; you were going to make that bastard like you.
Which is what you exactly planned on doing, standing in front of the wooden door, outside the broadcasting room again once again.Â
You swallowed the big knot that rested in your throat and opened the door. To your surprise you saw Heeseung sitting on of the chairs, headphones plastered in while his fingers flipped over the pages of a comic he was reading while bopping his head to the rhythm of whatever geeky music that played through his headphones.
Maybe he didnât hear the door creaking open or maybe he wasnât bothered to look at you, but either way you went and sat in front of him, clearing your throat to make him look up from the comic his eyes were glued to.
You didnât know if it was the awkward tension in the room or you dreading to âapologiseâ to the boy in front of you, but the moment his gaze fixated on you, your heart started beating twice as fast. Maybe it was how pretty his eyes looked with his bangs covering most part of it or how he resembled an innocent bambiâ
âCan I help you?â He spoke up, interrupting your thoughts about him.
âI just wanted to apologise for yesterday, I wasnât meaning to be on edge, but I was kinda nervous with meeting new people and you ofcourse! Not that I mean it in a bad way, I donât think youâre bad or anything I was justââÂ
And then you realised that you were rambling.
In front of Lee Heeseung.
âI was just nervous.â And with that, you ended your lengthy sentence in a mutter.
You waited for Heeseung to look at you, waiting for his response and all you got was a quick sigh before he hummed.
Sorry, were you boring him?
But you did not have time to react as the door busted open with the tall president walking in, followed by Karina, Rei and Jungwon.
âSorry guys, Lia and Taehyun got caught up with stuco meetings, but Karina will catch them up on everything.â He said, as he looked over to Karina, gaining a quick nod from her.
Everyone sat around the table as Soobin took his bulky notebook from his humongous bag that looked like it was filled with rocks. Jeez does this guy have a lot going on.
The meeting started where everyone started conversing and immersing themselves into the topics that the agenda listed. You even made a few suggestions that made the tall president smile at your already hard working attitude.
Which made you smile.
Which made Heeseung scoff.
It wasnât a loud one, but you could definitely hear it from miles away. And even after you apologised! It made no sense, whatsoever.Â
You stopped focusing on the topic at hand and looked over to Heeseung, comfortably sitting on the chair with his legs spread and his arms crossed. Oh wow.
No. You couldnât get carried away from his figure, or whatever his arms were doing to you right now. You were supposed to hate him, right? And right now, you were just kissing his ass, which is what youâre so good at â namely, your best friend pointing that out whenever you went to milk out marks of your biology paper from Mrs. Min.
Of course you didnât mean any of the words that flew out of your mouth when you were doing your so-called apology. It wasnât even your fault! He was the one acting like a jerk! Not you!
But deep under all this anger and your prejudice against him, you had the horrible feeling that he knew why you were here, sitting in an uncomfortable chair with the members of the broadcasting club.Â
And the truth was, he did know. He knew all about your little antics. Heâs not stupid. And heâs not oblivious to see those raging eyes under that sort of cute but fake smile! In all these years of you attending this school against your will, you never spared one look at Heeseung. Your eyes were always and only on Beomgyu. So now why are you trying to befriend him? The one who was always in Beomgyuâs shadow?
Because like everyone else, you liked Beomgyu and your gateway was Heeseung. And it doesnât take much to put two and two together, because it was the perfect plan that was all laid out.Â
âSo everyone is onboard with having a bake sale for the game?â Soobin asked, just to double check with everyone.
He in turn received nods and yeses from the members and brought you back into reality, stopping you from thinking about Heeseungâs cold manners anymore.Â
You quickly nodded your head as well, putting your lips into a line.Â
��Karina, me, Jungwon and Rei can bake the goods, yeah?â He asked for the membersâ approval in which they agreed.
âThen,â He looked down at his notebook and scribbled some writings over it and looked up again, âHeeseung and Y/n would be selling them.â Soobin looked at you and Heeseung. âLia and Taehyun can pop into help from time to time if thatâs alright.â
Did you hear that right?
Your name and ⌠Heeseung!
You tried not to show how your eyes were practically gleaming as you eagerly nodded. Meanwhile, Heeseung was not having it. He sighed like he had just been drafted into war, but nevertheless nodded his head as well, just more slowly compared to yours.
But, this opened new opportunities for you and new doors and each of them ending with Beomgyu, your beloved. You just had to crack through Heeseung first.
It was one of those nights where you had nothing going on in your life. You called Seori, but she was busy getting ready for Yeonjunâs party which well â you were invited to go, but didnât because you were too lazy to get up and get ready.
So you found yourself here, in the comic store your uncle owned, slurping on some instant noodles and reading the latest version of Fuller House. You werenât going to lie, you liked it. You were just sitting on the owner's chair with your bowl filled with noodles on the table and other stuff which were related to the store such as records of the borrowed comics. You bopped your head to the song that the little radio beside you playedâ âCandyâ by H.O.T.
The door to the comic store opened as you heard the bell hanging on it ring. Surely you werenât bothered to look since the scene you were reading was far too interesting and Ryder was far too handsome to take your eyes off him!
âWelcome, please feel free to look around and pick up any of the comics you like. If youâre looking for something specific, let me know.â Although it was supposed to sound enthusiastic, you put in your own twist making it sound like those automated recordings you hear on those phone calls.
You finally looked up to see who the man was when you were going to gobble a mouthful of the tasty ramen you had. You didnât quite see the face of the mystery man that came to him as he was quick to look at the various comics displayed on the shelves in front of you, making his back face you.Â
You saw him pick out a comic book with a cover that you couldnât quite recognize even if you had registered over thousands of comics here. After squinting your eyes a bit, you realised he picked out âDemon Diaryâ.Â
So heâs a nerd.
He turned sideways and to your surprise, it was the devil himselfâLee Heeseung.
âHeeseung?â You said, rather loud.
Due to your shock and his name being yelled in the store, he dropped the comic and looked at you, startledâeven going as far as letting out a cuss word.
âHey man, keep it PG13.â You giggled, seeing his shocked figure, in which he rolled his eyes. âMy Uncleâs at the back.â
âWhat are you doing here?â He asked, still shocked, because you were the last person he wanted to meet right now.
âMe? I work here.â You smirked, âWhat are you doing here?â
âI mean, I've never seen you rent books from here.â You added on.
âI wasâŚjust searching.â
âRight.â You said, smiling.Â
Why is this nerd so awkward?
âYou dropped the book, you know?â You said, looking at the fallen book on the ground.
âRight, sorry.â He muttered, rushing to keep the book back on the shelf which resulted in more books falling due to his clumsy demeanour.Â
âFuck.â Luckily, he caught them just in time and looked at you with the same cold glare he did earlier, but just a bit more awkward and maybe, embarrassed?Â
And just like that he left, rushing out the door.Â
He didnât even say bye.Â
How rude.Â
From that day onwards, he felt more awkward around you. You just didnât know why. Everytime it was your turn in the roster to announce the morning announcements in the broadcasting room, he had nothing but an emotionless expression and a thumbs up when recording it while you sat in the studio. The other days felt even weirder as you tried to talk to him, but he was quick to go in the other direction. Your head thinks that he avoided you out of embarrassment, but it still left an uneasy feeling in your stomach.
âHeâs just so weird!â You said to your best friend while plopping onto your bed.
She was currently sitting on your vanity with a bunch of makeup brushes spread around the table and countless amounts of eyeshadow palettes opened. Apparently, she was practising to âenhanceâ her looks to impress her new boytoyâSunghoon.
One of the players on the football team alongside your Beomgyu.
Seori just hummed along to your rambles about Heeseung. Well she did care, but God how long can a person hear her best friends rant about the same guy for over an hour.
âAnd you know what he did?â You abruptly said, sitting up from your bed, âHe just went! Without even apologising!â
âFor what?â Seori asked, looking at you through the reflection in your vanity mirror with furrowed eyebrows.
âFor his bitchy attitude.â You just had the urge to roll your eyes to the back of your head with the way Heeseung had been acting.
âOh, only if I could punch him in the face.â You sighed.
âJust leave it Y/n. And I mean this whole thing. It took you whatâso many months for your plan to talk to this Beomgyu boy and now what? All youâve gotten is nowhere. Just move on, babe.â She said, while leaning into the mirror to apply her mascara.Â
âSeori, Beomgyu is not just some boy. And actually, itâs taken me only weeks for this Heeseung plan. Heâs just cold. Thatâs it. Karina said that he takes time to warm up to people so I think if I get past this stage I could really be friends with him.â You justified your plan, which Seori might call you a bit (a lot) delusional for.
âAlright, Y/n.â Seori sighed, âWhatever you say.â She turned around to look at you.
âIâm just saying, be careful.â Seori said, concern laced on her expressions, âThings don't always go the way you want it to. Just go with the flow.â She smiled.
âWow, when did you take philosophy classes?â You said, having an amazed expression for sarcasm.
She rolled her eyes as she took out her eyeliner on the table, âNow, come here. You know you do my eyeliner the best.â She said, smiling.
You rolled your eyes playfully and stood up to go towards your best friend, taking the eyeliner from her hands and starting to carefully draw lines at the bottom of her eyelid.
Your best friend was practically the opposite of you. While she finds a new man every week, youâve been hung over the same guy for the past four years. But having her here and listening to all your rants about him and his rude (but cute) best friend is something that you wouldnât trade for the world.
As tomorrow was the big day for the game, you were determined to win Heeseungâs friendship as a way to Beomgyuâs heart.
Finally, after what felt like forever, the day you anticipated the most arrived. You looked at yourself in the vanity mirror and tightened your slicked back pigtails tired by hair ties with small bows on them.Â
You were determined to somehow crack that little arrogant bastardâMr. Lee Heeseung.
So you packed everything you needed and headed to the stadium which you found out was filled with hundreds of teenagers and teachers patrolling the stadium, looking like they had been tasked with finding the cure to cancer.
Oh was it a sight to see. You could smell the freshly watered grass and hear loud chatters of people conversing with each otherâsome even yelling. A sweet melody flowed into your eyes through the humongous speakers situated around the stadium. You were going to love today.
You quickly tried to find Seori and lo and behold, there she was, situated in between Sunghoonâs arms as Sunghoon whispered into Seoriâs ear and her later laughing like it was the funniest thing that was ever said.
You ran up to them, waving Seori and Sunghoon as wellâalthough youâve never even spoken to him.
âAh, my girl is here.â She squealed as she broke free from Sunghoonâs grasp and hugged you tightly.
You awkwardly hugged Seori back, trying to catch your breath from her tight grip while saying hello to Sunghoon who was smiling at the scene.
âYou look adorable.â Seori mumbled to your ear, âSo adorable that Beomgyu might fall for you the moment he sees you.â
You couldn't help but slap on a big smile after your best friend said that. âYou think so?â You asked, touching one of your pigtails in which she nodded in return.
Sunghoon on the other hand was called out by Jake, his friend and teammate, âBabeâI mean, Seori, I have to go. Coach is asking for us to meet at the locker room.â
âOh right.â Seori giggled as she quickly kissed Sunghoon on the cheek and waved him âGoodbyeâ after saying that sheâll cheer him on.
Cuties.
Except that could be Beomgyu and you right now, but the universe apparently hated you.
âSo, new boyfriend?â You wiggled your eyes at the blushing girl in front of you.
âNo!â She exclaimed, âWe just, I donât know.â Seori mumbled.
âWell, if you want him; you need to date him, fast!â You warned Seori, âI just saw him with Wonyoung not long ago. And I donât know, she looks like she really likes him.â You said.
âWhat?!â She yelled.
âDonât worry,â You laughed at her furious, but cute expression, âWith the way you kissed him he looks like heâs a goner.â
âHeeseung looks it too.â
âWhat?â You spaced out.
Why is his name being mentioned?
Suddenly all the emotion in your face drained away, like you couldnât give two fucks about the boy that had it against you.
âHe looked like he was two seconds away from a heart attack when he looked at you.â
âWhat? You saw him?â You questioned, looking around to find the rude boy.
âYes, you know the bakesale is like the opposite of where weâre standing right?â She lowered her head asking for confirmation.
âOh.â
Does he think Iâm pretty?
But then you remember what Seori said. The bake sale.
âOh shit, I have to go.â You abruptly said.
You and Seori parted ways after saying âGoodbyeâ and you headed to the bakesale with a man standing behind the table of baked goodies.
Heeseung was preparing the goods as he aligned them perfectly, keeping the doughnuts next to the brownies and so on.
You soon caught on and went behind the table to do what he was doing.
âThatâs new.â He mumbled.
You were shocked that he even talked to you.
But, hey. At Least he made your plan a bit easier.
âWhat is?â You asked in confusion.
âYour hair.â He said, not even sparing one look at you and keeping his focus on taking out the baked goods out of the trays next to him.
âYeah, I tried something different today.â You smiled, thankful that he noticed your hairstyle.
âYou look like a dork.â He simply said, as he went away taking the empty trays to wherever he was off to.
That bitch.
So he doesnât think Iâm cute?!
Your mouth was left open as you processed what he said.Â
As if he looks good.
Well, he does.
But thatâs not the point!
Your eyebrows furrowed as you let out a huff, leaving a pout on your face. You didnât let his stupid comment affect your whole mood so you just continued with doing your tasks as his words went to the back of your head.
Heeseung and you continued to sell various types of cakes and other baked goods while you took a little bite from one of the chocolate doughnuts that was eyeing you the entire time. And you swore, you could see Heeseung subtly smiling at your cute actions from the corner of your eye.Â
Soon after, the bakesale was long forgotten as everyone focused on the game and the star of the team, Choi Beomgyu. He skillfully passed the members of the opposing team with the ball tangled around his feet. The team needed one more goal to win the entire thing and time was not on their side.
Beomgyu had two minutes left on the clock to somehow magically kick the football into the goal. And just before you knew it, the crowd went crazy, screaming for their new championâChoi Beomgyu.
He successfully saved the entire team by winning in the last moment and you adored the way his proud smile never left his handsome face even once.Â
Heeseung beside you was cheering for his best friend when he won. You couldnât help but smile at his excited expression which was a rare sight to see. He soon ran to Beomgyu and hugged him as he praised the ace of the team. Soon chants of Beomgyuâs name echoed throughout the stadium.
Ah, were you proud of your future boyfriend.Â
Maybe this was your chance. A chance to finally talk to him. Since no one was at the stall as they were all focused on the ace in the middle of the stadium that was sitting on someone's neck as people chanted his name, you thought to bring him a bottle of water. Maybe even compliment his football skills (even if you didnât know shit about football).
You took an unopened water bottle from one of the boxes and when you looked at the stadium again, the crowd seemed to move. Fuck, you couldnât lose him!
You started searching as people started to leave the stadium while some were idling around the benches taking pictures with their Fotoman cameras. The crowd was still very much alive, just the reason for it was missing. Could he have disappeared that fast?
You scanned the grounds one last time and at the corner of your eye, you saw a pathway which led to the boysâ locker room. Well, you had to do what you had to do.
So now, you were standing in the middle of the empty boys locker room with a little water bottle in your hand and the desperation pouring through your eyes to find the star of the day.Â
But lo and behold, you found his trusty sidekick. And you wanted to laugh, because of the shriek he just let out which led you to think that this was a bit familiar to the situation you were in a few days ago.Â
âWhat the hell are you doing in here? You perv!â He whispered, shouted and looked around and back at you with a glare shooting right at you.
âHey! Iâm not a perv! I was just looking for Beomgyu to give him some waterââ But before you could finish your speech, Beomgyu and a group of guys were heard coming into the locker room which obviously you couldn't hear as you were too busy defending yourself.
âWhat! Hey! What are you doing?â You almost shouted as Heeseung pulled you into one of the showers and covered your mouth with his somewhat sweaty palms.Â
And now, it was just you pressed against Heeseung's chest as his hand involuntarily found his way to your waist to create more space in this uncomfortably tiny shower that could clearly fit only one person.
âWhoâs the perv now?â You whispered to yourself, looking away from him, but also internally freaking out that he was so close to you.
Maybe if you were some other girl like Minji from fourth period who could not stop rambling on about Heeseung or maybe the lunch lady that always looked at him with a smile and gave him extra chicken, you would be a puddle.
But youâre not, or so you think that way. Yet you couldnât deny the quickened beats of your heart which you hoped that Heeseung couldnât hear given that your chest was literally against his.Â
You heard Beomgyu outside talking with some other players in his team about the match which made you smile. But you swore that you could see Heeseung rolling his eyes at your expression which honestly you couldn't care less, but to give him a quick punishment, you thought it would be fun to pinch his stomach where your hand was currently pressed against.
Seeing his shushed pained expression and his glare at you only made you smirk even more, but your little feud was quickly sent away as Beomgyuâs ongoing conversation got you distracted.Â
âYou shouldâve seen the girls!â One of the football players said, âGod, they were so hot! I almost missed a shot because of them!â He drooled.
Gross.
âYeah, especially that Seori girl.â The other boy said.
Seori? As in my âYoon Seoriâ? My best friend?
âFuck, she was hot.â Beomgyu spoke up.
And at that instant, all the colour on your face drained away. You knew most boys always had a weird way of talking about girls, but you never expected your best friendâs name to be passed around like this, especially by your crush. Your pout only increased when you heard them talk even further and you felt a lump in your throat. This cannot be happening.
âYeah, but isnât she with Park Sunghoon? I saw them kissing and shit.âÂ
âAwh fuck me, I was going to ask her out.â Beomgyu half heartedly laughed at his missed chance.
So he knew who you wereâgiven that you were always with Seoriâand he was going to ask her out and not you.
Ouch.
You inhaled slowly, trying to not let your tears fall out as you forgot about the male that was beside you who was watching every expression that came out of your face.Â
Heeseung didnât know why, but he didnât like seeing your face all sad and mushy. Every time he saw you, you were always giggly or mad at him or trying to put on a fake smile just to get closer to him. But heâs never seen this. And he did not like it, even though he didnât know why.Â
And without thinking, he pulled you closer to him.
Hugging you tight.
You were more shocked than sad as you looked at him. You let out a gasp as he held you tight against his chest and your heart skipped around four or five beats. He wasnât looking at you though. In fact, he looked at anything else or than you, since all of a sudden, the soap that was lying on the soap dish looked very interesting.Â
He looked very, very redââfrom the tip of his forehead to the bits of his neck that was covered by his t-shirt, he was red. His pointy ears that were peaking out were red, his cheeks were tinted with a rosy colour and you couldnât miss out on how his adams apple bobbed as he took the biggest gulp ever!
But, why did you like it?
You shouldnât.
You liked the man who was outside the shower.
Wait, is this his way of trying to comfort me?
Thatâs actually kinda sweeââGuys! Come outside! Coach wants to take photos!â One of the members that barged into the locker room yelled before all the soccer players scurried away and went outside the room and onto the stadium.
You could finally let out the breath you were holding in. But Heeseung already shoved you aside and threw himself outside the shower.Â
You still couldnât speak of what just happened, but Heeseung was quick to fill in the gap of silence.
âWe sold enough stuff today, right?â He said, rubbing his pants against his jeans as he looked anywhere but you.
You blinked out of your dazed zone and looked at the nervous boy, âI think sââ
âGreat! Okay, Iâll go and start cleaning up.â He said, as he interrupted you before leaving the room.
What just happened?
You should probably tell Seori.
She deserves to know, right?
âY/n, whatâs that big head of yours thinking?â Seori pouted as she put her arm around your shoulder.
Damn, she saw right through you.
You honestly didnât know what you were thinking or who you were thinking of. When you paint a picture you see Beomgyu and his pretty locks of hair falling right in front of his eyes, his boyish smile and spark in his eyes
But
Next to him, you saw Heeseung.
Heeseung who has his forehead shown and his stupid locks which parted it, that stupid twinkle in his eyes which you wish you could gauge out and his slight smile forcibly lighting up that spark in you
Now you were stuck, stuck in between two of these boys. You definitely liked Beomgyu! Right? Thatâs what you keep repeating in your head, but the lines slowly blur as Heeseungâs name enters your head which makes you go into a spiral.
âY/n?âÂ
âHm?â You snap out of your thoughts and look at your best friend with the eyes that resembled a lost bambi.Â
âYou okay?â She asked, with genuine concern.
âYeah, sorry.â You laughed it off, âIâm just tired from that soccer match.âÂ
âRight.â She dragged the word while looking at you suspiciously.Â
âIâm fine Seori, I mean you would be too after selling around a hundred cupcakes.â You laughed, trying to change the topic.
But lo and behold, the universe was against you once again because as soon as you finished talking, you saw the boy that you were stuck in the showers with yesterday.
The pace of the students walking through the halls seemed to slow down. Everything else felt blurry except for him, the boy that hugged you tight yesterday. The usual hustle slowly faded into the background, leaving the world feeling slightly out of focusâat least to you. To your surprise, he looked even more handsome than he did yesterday. Wait, was he glowing?! Your mouth was agape as you intently fixed your gaze on him.
âY/n! Snap out of it!â Your best friend brings your focus back to where you were.
âHuh?âÂ
Seoriâs gaze followed on where your eyes were previously set on and it ended on Heeseungâs stoic face. A series of âohâs left her mouth as she looked at you, wiggling her eyebrows.
âI knew you would move on!â She squealed, locking her arms with yours.
Did you?
âSeori, I think youâre mistaken. I was justââÂ
âDonât lie, Y/n. I know that stare when I see it.â She fixed a teasing smile on her face.
âSeori, thereâs nothing going on.â
You couldnât deny the fact that Her words hit you hard. Have you really moved on from Beomgyu? Just a few seconds ago, you were thinking about him.Yet, you couldnât seem to shake off the feeling of Heeseung lingering above your thoughts laced with Beomgyu.Â
âYou canât deny that you weren't just drooling for Heeseung. Not Beomgyu.âÂ
You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts. "I don't know, Seori. It's...complicated."
Her eyebrows furrowed as a sign for you to elaborate, but you debated on whether telling what happened on the day of the soccer match and what you heard from Beomgyu.
âItâs just really complicated.â Was all you could say, âDonât worry about it!â You forced your lips into a tight smile which in turn Seori let out a sigh and continued walking as you both tried shaking off the conversation you just had.Â
Was it really though? You just may find Heeseung a tiny bit attractive after he allegedly hugged you tight in the showersâalthough not knowing it was intentional, you still very much like Beomgyu who wanted to ask your best friend out! Not that complicated, right? Maybe you found Heeseung a bit cute and maybe not much of a jerk like he showed you to be, especially when he hugged you, revealing he was more than just a cold facade. But what you couldnât seem to ignore was how your heart flipped seeing his features in the crowd as his bambi eyes shone while his heart shaped lips formed into a pout as he talked with the other students.
Nonetheless, a little touching here and there and a confused bundle of feelings wasnât going to derail your plan. You were determined to get this to work no matter what. And plus you were very loyal to your man. You think so.
That night, a suffocating silence forcefully clung to the air as Heeseung sat on the dinner table with his parents, the atmosphere always carrying a sense of thick tension whenever his parents were around. He sat next to his brother while his parents were seated across him, boring their eyes onto him with a stern look. With the silence they gave him, Heeseung felt a tight knot into his stomach that felt like it would burst any minute.Â
The only sound that could be heard was the spoons and forks clanking against the dinner plates while the fanâs motor could be heard throughout the room. Although the smell of home cooked japchae filled the room, Heeseung hardly touched his food as he just poked his food with his fork. His father broke the awkward silence first,
As the silence of the man sitting in front of him spoke volumes, he was first to break the silence, âSon, how did the maths test you had last week go?â Heeseungâs father inquired while staring at him.
âI got a seventy.âÂ
Heeseung knew he fucked up. The young boy couldnât help but shrink under his fatherâs scrutinising gaze. His cheeks held a hot shade of red as he looked at all the food scattered on his plate. He knew that what was about to come was another lecture from his fatherâs mouth and small scoldings from his mother as well.
âSeventy? Heeseung what have I told you?â His fatherâs voice grew stern.
âHonestly, what the absolute hell are you doing with your life? Last time it was an eighty, and I let it slip because maybe you werenât doing well. But now I think youâre just lazy,â His father scoffed, âWhy canât you be more like your brother? Look, all his scores are above ninety and thatâs all I ask from you.â He said, pointing at the younger boy sitting beside Heeseung with his fork.
Heeseung didnât even bother looking at his brother, knowing all he could return was a guilty and pitiful face. Honestly, why couldnât he be more like him?
âStop spending time with those useless cameras of yours and actually focus on your studies!â Heeseung flinched at the sudden rise of voice from his father which he hated to admit that it affected him.
âTheyâre not just cameras, Dad,â Heeseung mumbled, gulping the dry knot stuck in his throat.
âWhat was that? Yeah right, as if cameras are going to help you excel in your studies,â He scoffed once again. âMaybe itâs that Beomgyu boy that you hang out so much with. That boy is nothing but a negative influence on you.â He spat.
And that was the first time where he finally looked his father in the eye now as Heeseung finally looked up from his plate and shot back the same nasty glare his father gave him, âDonât call him that.â
âI see, now heâs more important to you than your own family. So what if I call him that, then what?â He provoked Heeseung.
Heeseung knew if he acted up, the consequences would be worse. He looked at his mother for any sign of help, but all she did was stare into her plate in fear of getting scolded by Heeseungâs father as well. Not being able to handle the situation anymore, Heeseung stood up from the dining table and left the house, not caring about the shouts that came from his fatherâs mouth.
The only thing that came out of your mouth was quiet snores. You were sleeping again after promising your mother you just needed a five minute nap afterschool which resulted in six hours of sleep, resulting in the time being seven pm now.
The door abruptly opened showing your older brother shouting at you trying to wake you up, âY/n! Come on! Get up!â
âWhat the hell! What do you want?â You asked in a groggy voice, your eyes still closed.
âGo buy me some ramen.â He simply said.
If you had the power right now to strangle your brother to death, his soul would be on the stairway to hell right now.
âFuck off!â You said as you hid yourself under your comfortable sheets.
Your brother in turn grabbed the sheets leaving you cold, âGo right now.â He said while throwing you some notes of money.
âOr what?â You provoked him, your hands rubbing against your arms to keep you warm.
âIâm telling everyone that a certain someone came home from school, crying because they wet their pants in eighth grade.â Your brother said in a sing-songy voice and a cheeky smile.
Your eyes shot open and you looked like you could kill him in five different ways. Because not only was he blackmailing you right nowâŚbut it was also in fact true.
Before you could chase him, he ran out the door, closing it shut after yelling what flavour of ramen he wanted.
âUgh!â You growled at your peaceful sleep being interrupted by your annoying brother and his tasks.
You thought it was now a good time to wash your face and get rid of the way your bed was calling your name and looked more attractive than ever. Rolling your eyes, you wore your favourite red and white striped sweater and grabbed the money from your bed and left the house, flipping your brother on the way out.
You stepped on onto the chilly streets of Seoul and walked through the concrete roads to the nearest seven-eleven you could find. The walk wasnât that long yet you felt like the sleep was getting to you from the way you felt already exhausted by the five minute walk.Â
You walked into the store getting whatever ramen your brother liked and an ice cream for yourself to reward you for the hard work that you did now.
As you licked onto the vanilla flavoured ice cream, you were on your way back home while the chill breeze ran through your legs. Fuck, I shouldnât have worn shorts.
And now that you think about it, you were only here because of your stupid older brother. With the amount of laziness he had in him, you had a hard time finding accepting the fact that the couch potato thatâs probably sleeping in your bed got into a good university and actually has a life.
Oh how you could strangle your brother right now for his lazy bum. Only if you could have one day with him, heâd be scrambled eggs by now. Oh only if you coulâÂ
âOuch!â You winced as you suddenly trip onto the ground, bruising your knee. Luckily, your ice cream was still intact, though its liquid melted onto your skin, dripping down your hands.
âThe Gods hate me today!â You whined as you looked at your ankle in pain, âMy poor knee.â
You looked up to find a place to at least sit so the pain would go off. To your surprise you found a nearby park which you used to visit all the time when you were a kid. You crossed the street and entered the park lit with rusty street lights.Â
Wait a minuteâŚ
As you walked into the park, you saw a male figure sitting on one of the swings while his back was hunched.Â
That hoodie looks too familiarâŚ
And then it clicked. That hoodie was the one Beomgyu wore when he went on one of the class trips. As much as it was a rare sight to see him attending these class trips instead of skipping them, you vividly remember it because that was one of the few times where you actually talked to him.Â
So you slowly went towards the figure, acting like you didnât know who he was just so you could sit on the swing next to him with the excuse of having hurt your knee.
As you slowly approached the male figure, you could kind of make out his face shape and then you realised that it wasn't Beomgyu at all.
âHeeseung?âÂ
You saw him flinch at the surprising sound and his eyes shot wide open to look at you, âWhat the hell? You scared me, woman.â He said, trying to calm down.
Much to your surprise, another one of your failed attempts.
Heeseung looked at the ice cream in one hand that was already melted and the ramen that was in your plastic bag in the other. His gaze then slowly went towards your bleeding knee.Â
But you didnât take his observation to note as you huffed while throwing your already melted ice cream into one of the garbage cans nearby and sitting down on the swing next to him, placing your plastic bag with a ramen packet inside on the ground, wiping your ice cream coated hands onto your sweater.
âWhat the hell did you do to your knee?â He inquired, a rough tone escaping from his mouth.
âI fell down.â You mumbled as you unconsciously pouted.
âAnd youâre not going to do anything about it?â He asked, amazed by the fact that youâre not bothered at your literal bleeding knee.Â
âI donât want to walk all the way back to get a stupid band aid.â You sighed, looking down.
Heeseung felt uneasy by the sight of your state where you looked like you gave up. He let out a sigh and probably a curse to what you could hear and got up, âWait here.â He said as he left the park.
Your eyes looked up at the boy who slowly disappeared into the dark, wondering where he went. But you didnât care anyways. Maybe Seori was right, you could never be able to get close to Beomgyu. Even the Gods are against it. Your pout came out even more as you thought about it even more.Â
As you looked through the park, your childhood memories fluttered open as you remembered the numerous amount of times you played Hide and Seek with Seori or the endless amount of ways you managed to trip on the grass and form a new bruise somewhere where your mother always made a fuss about.
You sighed and glanced at your bleeding knee. You winced at the burning sensation it gave you and the sight of fresh blood splattered on your knee making you cringe as you had a trickling urge to wipe it all off from your sweater, but you knew better than that. You wondered if Heeseung would stick to his words and actually come backÂ
Just as the thought of the young boy entered your mind, you heard the sound of footsteps approaching you. You looked up to see Heeseung returning, holding a small first aid kit in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. A wave of relief washed over you as you released the breath that you didnât realise that you had been holding.
Without saying another word, he got down on one knee and opened the first aid kit. He took the small piece of soft cotton and started to clean your wound. Next, he took some antibacterial cream and applied it onto your fresh wound.
A hiss came out of your mouth as your leg jerked away from his touch. He looked up with a stoic expression on his face, âStay still.â He commanded.
Your pout quickly went away as his hand came into contact with your leg as he tried to hold it for a better grip, his touch being surprisingly gentle. You gulped as you looked away from the sight. He was being too kind for your liking. You were surprised that he didnât walk away the moment he saw you.
After patching your wound up with a bandaid, he got up, taking the water bottle that was on the ground, and you looked up at him, searching for an answer as to why he did something that was so out of character for him.
âA thank you would be nice,â He scoffed but the confused look made him sort of understand what you were thinking, âI just... hate seeing blood.â
He gave you the water bottle. âYou should be more careful, dork.â
You hesitantly took the water bottle from his hand and mumbled a thank you for the water bottle and disinfecting your wound from your clumsy fall earlier while he returned to his empty seat on the swing set.Â
It had been a few moments since you both went back to silence and a few gulps from the water bottle Heeseung gave you for you to finally break the silence, âSo why are you here?â
You turned your head around to face Heeseung who kept staring at the scenery of the park, âNeeded some fresh air.â
âMm, sometimes I need some too, but I go to the Han River. Itâs more peaceful there,â you said, trying to keep the conversation light.
âYeah, well, do I look like I can go there now?â Heeseung said, his voice sounding snarky and sharper than you expected.
You smiled sheepishly, understanding the given circumstances, âRight, sorry.â
Heeseung sighed, he could see your smile from the corner of his eyes. He looked down to his hands resting on his lap, âNo, Iâm sorry. I didnât mean to⌠lash out on you like that.â He mumbled.
âI get it I guess⌠I guess we all have those days.â You said, turning back to view the comforting landscape in front of you. âI used to be worse. I once smacked my brother across the face because he breathed too loud.â
A snort surprisingly came out of Heeseungâs mouth. âAre you implying that smacking you might help?â
âWell not me! Violence does not help, but if itâs on my brother⌠then Iâd disagree.â You giggled, remembering the memory of your brother sobbing to your mother with a red strike across his face.
A soft smile found its way on Heseungâs face and this was probably the first and few times you actually saw him smile. The problem was, you didnât know why, but you liked it. A lot. And you wanted to keep doing whatever you could to keep that smile on his face.
Gosh! Get a grip, Y/n!
You both fell into a somewhat comfortable silence before you decided to change the subject again. âWhen I was a kid, I used to come to this park all the time,â you began speaking, your eyes wandering around the familiar surroundings of your memories spent here. âSeori and I would play hide and seek, and Iâd always manage to trip over something and end up with a new bruise. My mom would make such a fuss about it.â
Heeseung intently listened. He found it comforting that he could just sit there and here you talk without finding it annoying. This surprised him, what was he doing? Wasnât he supposed to hate you?
âOh right there!â You pointed to one of the bushes, âI fell down on a birdâs nest there. I spent the entire ride home sobbing because I sat on some of the eggs and it.. broke.â You mumbled at the end, feeling embarrassed. âI couldnât sleep that night so I went back the next day and made a birdhouse for that poor mama bird.â You said, a pout unconsciously showing up at your lips.
Even though you were currently going through your past memories and spilling your countless stories to Heeseung, all you could hear from him was silence. You started to wonder if you were talking too much, if maybe he wanted some peace and quiet. Just as you were about to apologise, your pager beeped loudly, snapping you out of your thoughts.
You glanced at it and realised it was your brother. âOh, shit. I need to get back,â you said, standing up and wincing at the pain in your knee. You picked up the plastic bag from the ground.
You looked back at Heeseung and awkwardly cleared your throat, wondering if you were on terms to bid each other Goodbye, but before you could form a sentence Heeseung beat you to it, âOpen your eyes when youâre walking and don't fall again, dork.â
You playfully rolled your eyes realising he was back to his old Heeseung self and left the park, heading towards your home. As you limped back, you couldnât help but feel like maybe, just maybe, youâd managed to make him feel a little better.
Heeseung watched you limp out of the park, a soft laugh escaping him at the sight of your awkward struggle. A small smile tugged at his lips as he watched you go. He felt a bit lighter, thanks to you, though heâd never admit that.
Waking up with a bruise was never a good way to start your morning. You took off the thick blanket that covered you. As you felt the dull ache on your knee, the unexpected meetup with Heeseung rushed back to your head when that was the reason why you tossed and turned at night, trying to get a wink of sleep.Â
The thought of the boy never left your mind, wondering where you stood with Heeseung, hoping that yesterday may make Heeseung warm up to you, but a part of you wanted Heeseung to keep you at arms distance for the fear of something you couldnât quite grasp onto.Â
But you settled on keeping Heeseung as a part of your plan and maybe even a friend after you start dating Beomgyu. Right?
Oh right, BeomgyuâŚ
The chestnut haired boy raced back to your mind, strengthening your feelings for him. Though, you still didnât know why the thought settled weirdly in your stomach.Â
You brushed it off and started to get ready for school, you were determined that today would be the day that you get your pawn Heeseung to finally act according to your genius plan.Â
After a quick shower and trying to make yourself decent for school, you headed out the door, slightly limping but still excited and a hundred percent sure that he would agree if you buttered up enough to him.
As hours passed, the day was going pretty well while you zoomed through the classes with ease. And now, you found yourself standing in that familiar spot, outside the broadcasting room, a few minutes before the usual meeting would start since you knew that Heeseung was always the first one to be there.
What a loser!Â
A kinda cute one too maybeâŚ
Wait! Fuckâ
âY/n?â A voice came from behind you, a familiar one.
âHeeââ You turned around to see the boy towering over you, the gap between you being very close.
You froze after seeing how close he was to you, âI-I was actually going to talk to youâ youâre here?â
âGuess you beat me to it.â He said, taking his hand out of his pocket and turning the knob on the door resting next to you, his side view being very clear to you.
Shit.
He opened the door and you silently thanked yourself that you weren't leaning against it and quickly scooted to the side to give him some space to walk through the room. He took his seat at the very end of the roomâ his usual seat. You walked in slowly, closed the door behind you, and took a seat in the chair across from him.
âI was going to sayââ
âCan I ask you something?â He spoke up.
His sudden question caught you off guard, âYeâyeah go ahead.â
âWhat exactly are you trying to do?â
You furrowed your eyebrows at his peculiar question, your head tilting to the side in confusion. âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean, why are you trying to be friends with me?â
âOh.â An odd silence formed between you two. âI just wanted toââ
âYou never even looked at me before, so why join the broadcasting club, talk to me, try to get close to me? I just want to know why notice me now?â
You contemplated on saying that it had something to do with a boy named Beomgyu but you swallowed that response down your throat, knowing howâd his future response look like. Your sudden confidence at the beginning of your day faltered, making it shred into tiny little pieces. All you could do was open your mouth a bit and gulp nervously then look down at your hands resting on your lap.
Heeseung noticed your sudden nervous behaviour so all his thoughts came out into one statement, âYou like him.â
Your eyes widened and looked straight at him.Â
So he knew.
Heeseung only scoffed, the pieces of your plan finally laying out perfectly to him, âAnd you're trying to get close to me so you can what? Talk to him?âÂ
All you could do was look down and nod slightly. Was it that obvious?
Another scoff could be heard from Heeseung as he stood up from his chair, clearly not wanting to be near you.
You stood up, âHeeseung, wait!â He stopped in his tracks, yet his back was still facing you.
âI have liked Beomgyu before I could even process what the word like had really meant. And gosh, I tried everything in the book and heck everything I could do to even get close to him. Nothing worked! Please justâ this is my last hope as silly as it sounds, but Iâm really desperate here. Just help me out a bit, because I don't think I can sleep at night knowing I didnât try. I swear iâll even stop talking to you if he rejects meââ
âYou talk a lot.â He finally turned around to face you, âBut that little monologue of yours got you nowhere.â
You walked towards him, knowing this literally could be your one last shot at this plan. âHeeseungâŚâ
But something struck you as if a bulb just lit up in your head.
Gotcha!
âYou know, youâd really hate it if you found out what happened in 'Demon Diary' without reading it, right?â You said, sneakily coming up to him.
âRight..â He said hesitantly, not sure what trick you had up your sleeve.
âIf you were to help me, then youâd have the pleasure of reading it without spoilers like Raenef being the next demon loââ As you were about to finish, his hand came in contact with your mouth to shut you up.
Your eyes widened again and your heart rate fastened for nth time. He was so close to you, his hand feeling warm against your skin. Nothing was to be heard from the both of you until Heeseung realised how close you both were which made him gulp, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.
He slowly lowered his hand and took it off your mouth, âI want volume one.â
âDeal.â
One thing you've known about Heeseung was that he loved working with cameras. From school events to casual hangouts, he always had his camera hanging around his neck, clicking a picture of anything that piqued his interest.Â
So of course, he was assigned by the broadcasting club to take the pictures of students on this field trip to see the flowers at the Musimcheon Cherry Blossom Festival and sent the new girlâaka youâto assist him, which you happily obliged.Â
On the way to the field while you were in the bus, you took out your essentials to hopefully butter him up; banana milk. It always does the trick when you want something, and to your luck it was his favourite drink too!
âWoah! Is that for me?â Seori who was seated next to you pouted, trying to take the banana milk out of your hand, but you were quick to swat her hand away.
âNo! Itâs for Heeseung.â You mumbled with a pout.
âOh! I get it now.â She wiggled her eyebrows at you in a teasing manner not knowing you wanted to rip them out.
âStop! Itâs not like that,â You said with furrowed eyebrows trying to defend yourself, âItâs so I can kiss ass and get close with Beomgyu!â
âNo way L/n Y/n just said that.â She said with a breathy laugh.Â
âYou gotta do what you gotta do.â You said, stretching your arms a bit with a smile on your face.
Seori rolled her eyes at your justification, âOh by the way, you still with your boy toy?â You snickered while elbowing Seori.
âHeâs not my boy toy! Itâs just complicated.â She muttered, shyly.
âHmm, isnât that what you said for Jaeyun, Minhyun, Sojun andââ
âOh my gosh stop! Youâre making me look like a player!â She whined, hitting you on the side, âIâm actually serious about Sunghoon, I really like him.âÂ
âWoah!â You turned to the side. âThat I never heard, Iâm impressed he managed to wrap you around his finger like that.â You said, nodding your head, impressed by how in love she looked but youâd never say it out loud since you knew sheâd drag you to the pits of hell.
Seori never really liked relationshipsâheck! youâre surprised that sheâs been your best friend for this long. She usually has casual and lowkey situationships as you like to call it, but seeing her with Sunghoon actually gave you hope that you might experience her having her first real boyfriend instead of her running away from her potential love interests.Â
âYeah whatever.â She rolled her eyes at your comment. âAt Least Iâm not the girl thatâs been crushing on a guy for three years and hasn't made a move yet!â
âHey! I am making one! Itâs just a really slow move.â You tried to defend yourself.
Hopefully that move does work if Heeseung actually abides by your plan. So when you arrived there, the first thing you did was to search for Heeseung. Luckily, it didnât take that much time as you found him in the middle of the field setting up the essential equipment needed for capturing some moments on the trip. You headed towards him, calling out his name making his bambi eyes drift towards you.
As you were near him, you reached out to your school bag and took out the comic he had set his eyes on, âYou need to return it on Monday.
He silently thanked you while he nodded while you were still rummaging in your bag, âHere.â
You handed out a tiny bottle of banana milk to him, âJungwon said you liked it, so.â
Heeseung blinked in surprise before he pursed his lips. He took the milk into his hand and turned around to put the comic and the milk into his bag, hiding his smile at the cute gesture from you.
The boy cleared his throat and started adjusting the settings for the camera while you rested your hand against the stand, your chin leaning on top of it, pouting in search for Beomgyu.
Once your eyes finally set on him talking to his friends, your eyes became a lot more dreamy and your once faltered feelings bounced back, strong as ever.Â
âNo girlfriend, right?â You muttered, still looking at Beomgyu.
âNo.â
âThen what type of girls?â
âI donât know, maybe Sim Eunha?â Heeseung answered, now recording bits of students socialising.
âOh, so like someone innocent?â You said, taking out a notebook from your bag to record his likes, âThatâs alright.â
âFavourite movie?â
âArmageddon.â
âOh?â You smiled while writing it down, âMine too.â
âFuture major in college?âÂ
âTheatre and film of journalism and broadcasting.â
âOh,â You wrote down the words he said quickly, âSo he wants to be famous because heâs handsome?â You mumbled.
âNo,â Heeseung stated, âI just like working with cameras.â
Wait a minute.
You looked up from your small notebook and processed his words. Is he really talking about himself? Your head shot towards the taller boy next to you with furrowed eyebrows.Â
âWhat?â You exclaimed, âThis isn't about you! Iâm asking about Beomgyu.â You said as you slightly hit his arm which made him wince a bit. âIf I have to get close to him, I need to know what he likesâŚAnd besides, why would I ask what you like anyways.â
âSuch a dork.â Heeseung scoffed as he looked at your sulky face, âCome here, Soobin sent us both on this trip. You should record as well!âÂ
You rolled your eyes at the sight of Heeseung setting up his camera on the stand for more stability. You reluctantly but quickly put your pencil and your little notebook in the small pocket of your bag. His eyes averted to you as a signal to come closer which you obliged to.
âPut your eye here,â He pointed at the camera, guiding you to the cameraâs viewfinder. âThis is the zoom in button and hereâs zoom out.â He showed you the necessary buttons needed, âDon't zoom in too much.â He nagged quietly.Â
Heeseung slowly guided your hand to the zoom in button and slid it down to the zoom out button. His way of teaching you around his camera felt gentle and soothing, like you could listen to him talk about his cameras all day. His gentle touch and the proximity between you two made your heart feel like it was in a marathon.Â
âHit record.â He instructed and so you did.
You zoomed in on a few places with students chattering and at the scenery of the field and as well as the sky.Â
âHm, youâre doing surprisingly well.â He said, quietly. Way to ruin the moment if there even was one.
You froze at how close you two were where you could hear his heartbeat. It felt so comforting for some reason. You could listen to his deep breaths next to you as he guided you to record some of the scenery. But this also set off many alarms in your head, screaming at you.
What are you doing!?
Your breathing felt unsteady and awfully loud to you, to the point where you thought Heeseung could hear you.
âOkay I got it.â You muttered, trying to dominate the space you two shared behind the camera, âYou can go.â You said, nagging him to leave you alone.Â
He slowly backed away from you, taken aback from your words and let out a sigh which went unnoticed by you. You continued with recording the landscape which brought a sense of calmness to you. You zoomed into Seori and Sunghoon chatting away, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the cheery boy in front of him.Â
Cute, you thought.Â
You slowly panned your camera to the blue skies above the fields and now to the chestnut haired boy. Beomgyuâs smile melted your heart as he talked to some of his friends which seemed really funny with the way he laughed.Â
He was soon joined by the taller boy, Heeseung. You zoomed in on Beomgyu to get a close-up of him, momentarily forgetting about recording the scenery. Yet, strange enough your hands instinctively moved the camera over to capture the boy next to him. There was something about Heeseung that you couldnât quite grasp onto. His doe-like eyes sparkled as he chatted with his friends.Â
With his hair that always seemed to fall so carelessly over his forehead and the way he would sneer slightly as if he was amused whenever someone spoke up, you could never seem to keep your eyes directed elsewhere and you didnât really know why. He had this charm about him that was impossible for you to not look twiceâ the way his lips moved to the glint in his eyes.
After a brief pause, he looked right at the camera, catching your gaze. It startled you, and you fumbled with the cameraâ readjusting the camera and propping it back to the field quickly.Â
Way to make it so not obvious.
However what you didnât catch was Heeseung looking at your clumsy self, trying to grab shots here and there. And what you didn't see was the smile that found its way to his face, because of you.
If you were Heeseung, where would you be right now? Currently, you were looking for wherever Heeseung would be. In the broadcasting room? Surprisingly, no. One of his classes? No. The cafeteria? No sight of the tall boy. Heck! Even the field where Beomgyu was practising? All you could find was the dashing boy moving through the field with ease and shooting a goal into the net.
The banana milk in your hand started to look real good after your countless laps making you thirsty, but no! You were saving that for Heeseung, if he even is alive today. Suddenly, like lightning struck your head, you realised that Heeseung was a huuuge nerd.Â
You jogged to where your school library would be, which was a few metres away from the football field. You entered the facility to see Heeseung in all his glory sitting at one of the tables reading the big book of the Photographers Guide.Â
Of Course heâd be here!
Nerd.
His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, looking like he absorbed every word and the sight made you smile unknowingly. Without thinking, you walked over and took a seat in front of him.
âWhatchu reading?â you asked, dragging your words a bit, leaning in.
Heeseung let out a small yell as he flinched at the sound of you speaking which made your smile grow even wider, âJesus, woman! stop sneaking up on me like that.â You laughed, brushing it off with a small sorry.
âWhy are you here anyways?â He questioned, âYou donât read.â
âWoah!â You raised your hands a bit at the somewhat correct accusation, âI do, sometimes.â You giggled. âI came to give you this.â You placed the banana milk you were holding on the table.
He raised his eyebrow at you, âIn exchange for?â
âFor nothing! Just a friendly gesture,â you said, but then a sly smile crept up your face. âActually, I was thinking...maybe we could all hang out together? You, me, and Beomgyu.â
Well he knew it.
âHell no,â He said, stuffing his nose back into the big book.
âCmon!â You nagged, your hand reaching for his arm trying to convince him.
Heeseung looked you dead in the eye to say the word ânoâ again to which you groaned at.Â
But then, you noticed a familiar book peeking out of Heeseungâs shoulder bag that was resting on the table. It was volume one of Demon Diary.
âAha!â Without thinking, you snatched it up.
Heeseung shot up looking at you with widened eyes,âHey! Give it back.â He protested.Â
âI agreed to give this to you if you were to help.â You said, dangling the book infront of him. âAnd youâre not, so iâll give this if youââ
âFine.â He snatched the book from your hand.Â
You flashed him a big grin, âGreat! Iâll see you at three o'clock at the bus stop tomorrow.â
Heeseung nodded reluctantly as if he was being held at gunpoint! âFine. But if this turns out to be a disaster, Iâm blaming you.â
âThatâs fine,â you said, grinning from ear to ear. âBut it won't be.âÂ
As you left the library, the reality of your plan started to sink in, filling you with a nervous excitement. To think that tomorrow would be the day that you would actually hang out with Beomgyu in the flesh just brought hundreds of butterflies into your stomach. But a part of you wondered if this was the right direction you were going. But as your plan finally starts to take shape, you think to yourself if this is what you really want? You look back at Heeseung being engrossed in his little book. You wondered if maybe, just maybe, he was looking forward to it too.
But, why do you care? You were here for Beomgyu, right? You are doing this for Beomgyu, you tell yourself. But even as you tried to convince yourself, the nagging thought that was right behind you kept pouring thoughts that maybe, just maybe, there was more to this than you first realised.Â
The next day arrived in a blink. You were already waiting at the bus stop, dusting off the invisible specs over your dress. Your first real dress that you begged Seori to let you borrow. The baby blue chequered dress draped right above your knees and was held with two straps that rested on your shoulders which were tied into the shape of a bow.Â
You looked over at your watch â2:55. You just hoped that Heeseung would show up after praying to the Gods that this plan would finally take off.Â
The time stretched on. It took a few minutes to make your stomach start grumbling due to the nervousness that ran through your body, but everything was put aside when you saw Heeseung walking towards you clad in his white tee paired with cargo pants, his hands shoved in his pockets and a stoic expression covering his face.Â
Next to him was a slightly shorter boy, but also the man of your dreams and the man that was actually in your dream last night as well. Imagining him so many times in front of you, this close felt overwhelming now that he was actually walking towards you. Not anyone elseâyou.
Heeseung and Beomgyu stopped in front of you and Beomgyu greeted you with a grin on his face, contrasting to the boy next to him, âHi Y/n! Itâs been a long time since we talked. Hope you wonât mind me tagging along.â He chuckled.
What? Tagging along?
What exactly did Heeseung tell him?
As Beomgyu walked further ahead of you two, you slowed down your pace to match Heeseung as you elbowed him and aggressively whispered, âWhat did you tell Beomgyu to get him to come?â
Heeseung glanced at you, with that still same stoic look on his face and shrugged. âHe loves carnivals. I barely got to finish what I was saying before he was begging to tag along.âÂ
âMust be fate that we both loooove carnivals so much.â You said, giggling at the thought of you and Beomgyu sharing the same love for roller coasters and cotton candy, missing the roll in Heeseungâs eyes.Â
The three of you finally got onto the bus, you going right after Beomgyu, excited for the trip to the carnival. As you neared one of the seats, the bus suddenly lurched forward, causing you to stumble and fall on your ass right in front of Beomgyu.
But lucky for you, Heeseung was right behind, you pressed against his chest. His hand quickly came into contact with your arm, his grip strong as ever. You looked over to see him just as shocked as you are, but the look in his eyes exuded a genuine concern. Before you could fully register what had just happened, he pushed you away from him while wearing that same stern look on his face.
âThanks," you mumbled, avoiding his gaze as you felt heat rising to your cheeks.
Then he finally looked at you, âSit.â
You quickly obeyed, sitting on one of the seats that was next to Beomgyu who quickly asked if you were okay after seeing you stumble. You replied saying you were fine and breathed out the breath that you didn't know you were holding in.
You looked at Beomgyu once again, who was blissfully unaware of the little moment you just had with Heeseung, if you could even call it that. You turned your head to look at Heeseung who was standing beside you, one hand gripping the rail above for support while his eyes were fixed onto the passing scenery outside the window.Â
You could feel the warmth of him radiating beside you and it strangely brought comfort to you. Even if he wasnât touching you anymore, even if he was looking ahead of you, eyes stuck to the scenery outside one of the windows. It made you feel an unfamiliar emotion which you never experienced. And you wondered why it only happened whenever you saw Heeseung.
Beomgyu on the other hand was mindlessly babbling about the different types of rides he wanted to go and how he hadnât been to an amusement park in years. You nodded along to his words, trying to focus on his mindless chatter about the terrifying but exciting roller coasters they have, but your mind kept running back to how Heeseungâs hand felt on your arm, how you were pressed against his chest and that look that he had in his eyes.
That stupid look.
It only happened whenever he locked eyes with you. You honestly wondered if he had sprinkled something over his eyes to make him look at you like that. But youâd be lying if you said you didnât like it. With recurring encounters revolving around both of you, you started to lean into that look, almost wanting him to look over you with his bambi like doe eyes.Â
But, you were sure that would change today. You were going to stick with Beomgyu. The bus came to a stop at the amusement park, dropping you three off. The sight of the crowded park and the sound of excited chatter alone filled the air, clearing your previous thoughts.Â
You could practically hear Beomgyuâs excitement. You found yourself smiling along at him, heading towards the park as he pointed to the different rides and the various games they had. And on your other side was the walking grey cloud who had a bored look on his face the entire time. Well usually that wouldnât bother you, but something was pulling you to walk around and try every game with him. Not the other.Â
Fuck, you couldnât get distracted.Â
âWe should go on the rollercoaster!â Beomgyu pointed with a big grin plastered on his face.
You nodded along although Heeseung wasnât having the same reaction, âYou guys go ahead, Iâll just walk around.â
âC'mon! Itâd be fun! Donât be such a pussy!â Beomgyu exclaimed, coming near him, his hand dragging Heeseungâs as a motion to join.
âYeah.. you should come.â You said this time, with a genuine smile, looking forward to seeing how this scaredy catâdue to his previous shrieks from you creeping up on himâwould handle roller coasters.
To absolutely no oneâs surprise, he was screaming the entire time on the rollercoaster, barely making it out alive and cursing Beomgyu for wanting a second round. You couldn't help but laugh at his state while he was panting for air, his hands on his knees after getting off the âwretchedâ ride as he liked to call it.
You three would go onto ride the carousel and eat a monthâs supply of cotton candy. You couldnât resist dragging Heeseung onto the Disco Bang ride, laughing as he was tossed around in the spinning machine.Â
Your hands naturally found your way to Heeseungâs, dragging him to any of the games to your liking, him just obliging and tagging along. You made him play the claw machine game a dozen times for a hello kitty doll and he would, skillfully manoeuvring the handles to get the cute plushie. He didnât know why, but he did it so he could see that the doll would perfectly fall into your arms.Â
Beomgyu was far gone into the fun of the carnival, drunk on adrenaline which made him ride the rollercoaster again, twice. And at the end of the day, he had to meet the consequences of his previous decision, making his feet stumble on itself and his head dizzy.Â
By the time you finished circling around the entire amusement park, the sun had already begun to set. The sky was painted in shades of orange fading into pink, the stars already visible.Â
And there was one more ride that you didnât check out. The biggest part of the plan. You saved the ferris wheel for the last so you could hop on into one of the tiny cabins and sit next to Beomgyu as you both watched the fireworks begin.Â
A solid set plan right?Â
âLetâs check out the Ferris wheel,â you suggested, pointing to the towering structure dazzled with colourful lights.
âUh..sure!â Beomgyu hesitantly said while rubbing his tummy, his face a bit pale.
You smiled and got into line side by side with Beomgyu and Heeseung knew that was his cue to let you two have your âmomentâ as you like to call it. Heeseung joined the cue later so he could go alone, his tall figure a few metres away from you. Beomgyu was too worried about his stomach grumbling to wonder why Heeseung didnât join you both.Â
As you got to the cabin, Beomgyu laid his hand on your shoulder, âI think Iâm gonna be sickâŚ"
âBeomgyu, you good?â You asked, worry creeping into your voice as you glanced between him and Heeseung, who looked equally as concerned.
âYeah, go ahead with Heeseung.â He said, quickly leaving the line to find the nearest bathroom so he could hurl his guts out.Â
Fuck.
No, no, no.
This wasnât supposed to go this way.
The line attendant had already called out to you two, so you had to hurry inside the tiny cabin with Heeseung. You swallowed the little bump in your throat, bummed that you didnât get to sit with Beomgyu.
You got Heeseung instead.
You plopped onto the seat, Heeseung sitting in front of you. Your eyes visibly looked sad, and Heeseung had that familiar feeling rushing all over again. The last he felt this was at the locker, the same look shadowed your eyes again.Â
But, he couldnât say anything. He just had to sit there and look at your pretty face with a pout on your lips.Â
Finally, as the cabins were about to start spinning in circles, he broke the silence, âYou okay?â
You scrunched up the ends of your dress, nodding as you looked at the way the fabric bundled up in your hands.Â
âAre you sure?â He asked, with a softer tone, âIâm sorry that Beomgyu couldnât join you.â
âIt's..fine.â You looked outside the window to embrace the calm scenery.
Heeseung just sighed and followed your gaze out the window, occasionally looking at you, that same look on your face.
âDo you think Beomgyu liked this?â You mindlessly asked, feeling disappointment was over you.
âYeah, I think.â Heeseung quietly answered. â He just got ahead of himself.â
âToday was supposed to be perfect, Beomgyu was supposed to actually like me today.â You confessed, your words tumbling over you as your disappointment grew. âI was supposed to watch the fireworks with him on the ferris wheel, but now heâs puking his guts out probably cursing me for planning this and I dragged you into thisâ-â
Hey, hey⌠you did good today.â Heeseungâs words rushed to comfort you, his heart aching as he heard your breathing quickening.
âHe genuinely looked like he had fun with you and trust me I know how he looks when he has fun and this was one of the few times he actually smiled that much around anyone. If you ask me, I think he⌠likes you plenty.â
Heeseung didnât know why, but he hated saying those last few words. The boy had to spend the entire day at the park looking at Beomgyu gleam over you with such sincerity in his eyes as you smiled with him, riding fucking automated horses that went around in a circle and to say that he likes you was the perfect cherry on top.
âThank you, Seung.â
Seung.
That was the first time you ever called him by a nickname. It had always been "Heeseung," usually accompanied by some kind of teasing or nagging. So donât blame his heart for skipping a beat when you sat there all pretty calling him a name which made his mind dizzy.
âThe fireworks are starting.â You said, a soft smile rested on your face as you looked to the view outside your window which Heeseung shortly followed after.
And as if on cue, just as the ferris wheel stopped with you both on top, the first set of fireworks had exploded into the sky. It filled the dark night with colour while your eyes lingered over the lit patches of collie, mesmerised by its beauty.Â
âItâs so pretty.â You muttered, your voice filled with awe.
Heeseung didnât respond right away. Why? He was too busy looking at you. It felt more worthwhile than watching a few fireworks light up the night sky. It was more worth it to see how your eyes lit up at the sight. How your eyes widened in shock of the scenery ahead of you.
You looked pretty.
âSo pretty.â He muttered, almost in a whisper where only he and his gear could hear it.
Time seemed to stop. The only thing in motion was the continuous fireworks bursting and Heeseung didnât want it to end. He realised then and there that he would burst up as many fireworks just to see that smile on your face. He realised that heâd do anything to see you happy.
That night, while he sat with you on top of the ferris wheel to watch the fireworks, Heeseung realised something deeper than he was ready to admitâ yet something he couldnât ignore, at least not anymore.
You donât remember much about the end of yesterday. The fireworks felt like the only thing that was running in your mind. And Heeseung? You donât seem to remember much about him in the ferris wheelâkept saying the fireworks were pretty or something?Â
Nevertheless, you were a hundred percent sure that your plan yesterday had worked. Although there may have been a few minor setbacks (Beomgyu hurling his guts out), you were pretty confident that Beomgyu might see you as his future girlfriend.
Thatâs why you sprang out of bed, determined to commence phase two of your plan.
Movie date with Choi Beomgyu.
Featuring the infamous Lee Heeseung sitting two rows away from you both.
Considering that today was the last day of school, you knew it was your final chance to get closer to Beomgyu. As you walked down the hallway together with Seori, you had your mandatory debriefing with her about the events that happened last night, reminiscing every sweet moment with Beomgyu.
âOh my gosh!â Seori squealed, âYou two are so cute together!â
You nodded your head, feeling proud about it. â You finally talked to a real boy! I thought this day would never come!â Seori dramatically exclaimed, making your eyes roll as she clung onto your arms in excitement.
And as if on cue, Beomgyu came into view, stepping out of a classroom. To your surprise, he actually looked at you and waved.
He actually waved!
Trying to stay composed, you waved back with a soft smile, watching as he walked away. Seori in turn looked the most excited sheâs ever been, squeezing your arm hard.
âHe so wants you!â She said, playfully.
You bit your lip, trying to contain that flutter in your chest. âHopefully.â You replied in a mutter, still slightly dazed.
But deep inside you, that flutter didnât have that same kick to it. It almost felt unfamiliar. As if it was fading away, slowly slipping through your fingers.You werenât sure why, but the thought of Beomgyu liking you didnât bring as much joy as it did before.
What fueled you to continue was the pure determination that coursed through your veins. With that resolve, you left to go meet your matchmaker, Heeseung.
Which is how you found yourself in front of the broadcasting room again, later that day. You opened the door to see Heeseung there fiddling with some of the equipment.
âHey Seung.â He turned around to see you heading towards him, his eyes softening a bit at the sight of you.
âHey.â He quietly said, going back to adjusting some equipment.
âWhy the long face?â You pouted, taking a seat next to him.
Well he would look like he was struck by lightning if you called him âseungâ though that pretty mouth of yours, ever so softly. If only you knew how his heart was running miles when you said it so softly, making him melt at the sound of his name coming from your lips.Â
âNothing.â He brushed it off.
âHmm, you could tell me if something is bothering you.â You said, with sincerity. âDid I do something wrong?â You asked as you put your chin onto your hand, looking up at him with your doe eyes.
God, he was a goner.
âYouâre fine, dork.â He finally smiled at you, ruffling your hair and going back to whatever he was working on.
You froze at the warmth in his gaze, but pushed the feeling aside. âWell in that case, do you wanna watch a movie with me?â You smiled, with hope in your eyes.
âYou mean, me third-wheeling you and Beomgyu?â He rolled his eyes.
âWell, you are supposed to help me.â You huffed, making a point.
Heeseung glanced back at you once again seeing that pout on your face which made him sigh, âFine, whatever.â
You squealed in excitement, hugging his arm as you were thrilled to hear his answer.Â
The day passed on quickly, and before you knew it, it was already seven oâclock and you were already waiting for Heeseung and Beomgyu outside the familiar bus stop again.
But this time, Heeseung came with the absence of Beomgyu. You wondered if he was coming later than expected orâŚif he wasnât coming at all. The thought alone made you gulp.
âWhereâs Beomgyu?â You looked behind Heeseung, desperate to see if he even was behind the tall figure.
âHe did not take that rollercoaster ride well, long story short; he fell sick.â Heeseung dropped the devastating news.
You huffed in annoyance, âIs he okay? I saw him at school today.â You asked, voicing your sincerity.
âYeah, he is. He took half a day.â Heeseung said, shoving his hands in his pocket, âJust needs rest.â
If it only wasnât for Beomgyuâs weak immunity, youâd both be smooching in Hawaii! (or watching the movie, you could work with either.)
âWell, what are we going to do now! I already paid.â You pouted, crossing your arms in frustration.Â
Heeseung could only softly smile at your frustrated self. Just then, the bus arrived, and you looked at Heeseung, pursing your lips.Â
You grabbed his hand before heading inside the bus, âWhat are you doing?â Heeseung asked with startled eyes.
âIâm not wasting my money.â You muttered, as you sat on one of the seats in the bus while Heeseung scoffed at your response.
You and Heeseung ended up at your local cinema, watching the re-release of fucking Top Gun, a choice made because you thought Beomgyu would like it. On the other hand, Heeseung was having the time of his life, completely immersed in the world of guns and whatnot.Â
Pfft. Typical Nerd.
But youâd be lying if you didnât think he was cute whenever he slightly flinched at the explosions on the screen. Not that cute though. Maybe⌠kinda⌠you werenât sure!
You were just frustrated about not being seated next to Beomgyu. Instead it was just Heeseung sitting next to you. But a part of you didnât mind, in fact it brought a small smile to your face.Â
You shuffled in your seat trying to shake off the uneasy feeling you got in your stomach whenever you thought about Heeseung.Â
Well you never felt like this in your whole seventeen years of living, and you sure didnât feel like this with Beomgyu. It felt almost comforting with Heeseung. You both didnât have to fill the silence every time, you could just feel at ease with each otherâs presence. With Beomgyu, there were always butterflies roaming through your stomach, but with Heeseung you felt like you didnât have to try to impress yourself, just you being there felt enough.Â
And a part of you didnât care that you were sitting next to Heeseung watching this God awful movie, occasionally grazing hands whenever both of you reached into the popcorn bucket. But thank God that the movie ended because you couldnât take another second of guns and explosions.
You both made your way out of the theatre in silence, though you couldnât stop thinking about comparing your all time love with Heeseung. You were so immersed that you didnât even notice the uneven sidewalk to the nearing bus station until it was too late. Well you did stumble, but before you could hit the ground, Heeseung caught you just in time again.
God, youâve got to stop falling!
âWhen will you open your eyes?â Heeseung remarked with sarcasm and he let go.
You didnât register the stupid remark Heeseung had said, as the pain in your ankle started becoming impossible to ignore. You looked down to realise that you probably strained your ankle.
âOuch.â You winched at the pain, as you rubbed your leg.
âAre you okay?â Heeseung crouched down to get a better look.
âI donât know, I think I strained it.â Heeseung only sighed at your answer.
He shaked his head slightly, facing away from you as he was crouching so you could climb onto his back, âCome on, get on.â
âWhat? Heeseung, I can walk.â You said, though you definitely could not. But you werenât getting on his back after your little thought session at the movies.
But your protests were a waste because before you knew it, you were on his back, holding onto his shoulders as he carried you.
âYouâre lighter than I thought.â Heeseung teased, keeping his tone light.
You hit his back lightly as you retorted, âIâm not that light.â Though a small reluctantly found its way to your face.
Heeseung walked towards the bus station, while you rested your head on his shoulder, kicking your legs in a trace of rhythm while occasionally talking with Heeseung, though most of it was Heeseung humming along to whatever mindless thoughts you voiced.Â
It almost felt like you knew him for most of your life. It felt so soothing with him, his little teases making you whine. His way of looking at you like you were the most fragile thing on earth. His way of making you smile whenever you felt sad.Â
It felt like he was the one.Â
But he isnât.
Beomgyu is.
Thatâs what you kept telling yourself as Heeseung slowly crept up your heart. What you didnât know was that Heeseung felt the same. Almost like two idiots in denial. Typical.
Once you got onto the train, you sat side by side in silence, the gentle ride on the bus with occasional bumps lulled you into a peaceful state. You pulled out your headphones and handed one to Heeseung, âHere.â
The soft melody of âě¤ëŹźë¤ěŻ, ě¤ëŹźíë â by JAURIM flowed into your eyes, making this moment feel like a scene from a movie. Without realising, you leaned your head on his shoulder, the dayâs events catching up to you. And before you knew it, you drifted off into a long sleep.Â
Heeseung glanced down at you, a small smile played on his lips as he watched. He couldn't help but think how adorable you looked even if you were doing almost as nothing as sleeping against him. The wind from the open window made a few strands of hair fall onto your face, he gently grazed your face, tucking them behind your ear.Â
And the moment you shifted closer to him in your sleep, he knew he was done for.
Time passed quickly. It was already December. As the end of the school year approached, with graduation just around the corner, the broadcasting club decided to put in their two cents in the yearbook signing party. And Soobin thought a photo booth would be the perfect inclusion for it, so students could take a picture with their friends one last time.Â
And naturally, you and Heeseung were assigned to watch over the photobooth while the other members were assigned to different parts of the party such as the memory lane. You were manning the table with Heeseung while Seori and Sunghoon came over to your stand.
âSeori! You came!â You squealed at the sight of your best friend hand in hand with Sunghoon. âHi Sunghoon.â
He waved at you with a smile, âWe wanted to get a few pictures before it gets too crowded. Plus I had to drag him here.â Seori said, giving you the needed money.
âYeah, she wouldnât take no for an answer.â He teased Seori, gently ruffling her hair as she whined.Â
Seori slightly nudged Sunghoon before fixing her hair for the pictures. You and Heeseung could only chuckle at their playful banter.Â
âRight away, lovebirds.â You snickered with Heeseung at the sight of the two while Seori glared at you, mouthing âsays youâ while eyeing Heeseung as well.
Uncalled forâŚ
Seori pulled in Sunghoon in the booth, Sunghoon taking the initiative to pull her onto his lap as she giggled. They shared cute and goofy pictures with Seori giving Sunghoon a kiss on the cheek at the end.Â
âTheyâre cute.â You mumbled to Heeseung.
âI guess.â Heeseung smiled with you, glancing at you occasionally.
After Seori and Sunghoon left, time went faster as the crowd started to fill up the Gym. The line for the photo booth became longer. Seori decided to join your table for a while to cure her boredom while Sunghoon played with his friends in the court. Just in time, Beomgyu showed up, revealing who was next in line.
And before you knew it, you were squished in the photo booth with Beomgyu on one end and Heeseung at the other, Seori taking up the remaining space at the far end. âMove over!â Beomgyu giggled while pushing you more against Heeseung. Instinctively, Heeseung wrapped his arm around you, his hand brushing against your waist as he pulled you in.Â
A mix of nervousness and excitement rushed over you, as the same familiar warmth settled in your stomach. It wasnât because of the tight space but because of how close Heeseung was to you. The warmth of his hand against your waist sent shivers down your spine.
The camera's flash went off a few times, capturing the moments with you four. Beomgyu had put on whatever goofy face he could come up with and Seori had her signature peace sign up while a small smile rested on Heeseungâs face.Â
As the evening wore on, the crowd started to disappear. Students gathered their belongings, bidding each other goodbye. A strange sense of nostalgia washed over you, feeling emotional that this could be the last time youâd be talking with these students. Karina, Jungwon, and Rei had bid you goodbye as they left after taking down the memory lane they had set up.Â
Taehyun and Lia had come in later as they were busy with student body council stuff, but wished you and Heeseung both a quick goodbye before they left as well. And before you knew it, it was only you and Heeseung with a few other students roaming around the Gym. You glanced at Heeseung who was organising the leftover photostrips, carefully putting them into one of the brown boxes beside him.Â
A small smile played on your lips, âYou wanna take some pictures? Just us two.âÂ
Heeseung looked up at you with his bambi eyes, a smile on his face. âSure.â He agreed.
The two of you slipped inside the photo booth, and all of a sudden the air felt different. The atmosphere hung something heavy, waiting to be acknowledged. You sat fairly close together, trying to settle in.Â
Heeseung started the timer and sat back down with a smile. You barely had time to think before the first flash went off catching you off guard. This made you laugh, along with Heeseung. The other flashes were followed by playful poses, you placing a peace sign behind Heeseungâs head and Heeseung pinching your cheeks.
Before the last flash went off, you felt a shift in the atmosphere. That feeling started becoming impossible to ignore. Heeseung turned to look at you just as you turned towards you. Your eyes met. Suddenly everything around you was a blur. It was just Heeseung in focus. The boy who months ago got on your nerves. The silent chatter outside became white noise for you.Â
Heeseungâs gaze softened, your eyes never left him. The final flash went off going unnoticed. Before you even processed what was going on, he leaned in. HIs lips gently brushing against yours, your eyes instinctively closing.Â
It felt soft, careful, yet why did your heart feel like it was going to leap out of your chest. His hands grazed your cheek pulling you closer as you reciprocated the kiss, earning him to pull even closer. It felt so raw yet so gentle. The kiss lasted a few seconds, yet it felt like an eternity. You were so far gone. You donât seem to remember anything.Â
When you finally pulled away, you both looked at each other, out of breath as you were stunned in silence.
Just then, you heard someoneâs voice from outside. âHeeseung?â It was Soobin, his voice laced in urgency.Â
Heeseung blinked out of his daze, pulling himself outside the photobooth after opening the curtain that divided the photobooth from the outside. âIâIâm here!â He called out, his voice shaken up.Â
âCan you help me carry these boxes to the storage room? Miss Lee wants them gone by now.â He huffed, handing one of the boxes to Heeseung.
Heeseung glanced back at you, sitting in the photo booth still shaken up by that stunt Heeseung pulled. He only gulped and looked back at Soobin. âYeah sure.â Though he didnât have another choice as Soobin already shoved the box in his face.
âThanks dude.â Soobin smiled and headed out the Gym with Heeseung. Heeseung looked back at you one last time before exiting the Gym, the kiss replaying in his head over and over again.Â
You sat there for a moment, still not being able to process what just happened. Your heart was pounding like crazy, almost trying to jump out of your chest. The vibrations of your heart beat reached your chest, followed by your uneven breathing. Yet despite all of this chaos, you could still feel the warmth of his lips on yours.Â
You still feel the presence of him next to you. Slowly, a small smile crept onto your kiss. After you collected yourself, you finally stepped out of the photobooth. Your heart was still racing as you pulled at the photo strip hanging from the slot. As you looked at the photostrip, the last shot catched your attention, making you snicker to yourself.
You probably look like a crazy woman right now.
The one before the last shot caught your attentionâthe one right before the kiss. There was something with the way he looked at you, something you had noticed before, but didnât care for. And now that you realised what it meant, you couldnât look away.Â
And it was then, standing outside the photobooth alone got you to realise just how much you liked this moment. You liked that kiss. You liked Heeseung. The thought alone hit you like a ton of bricks. All this time, youâd been so focused on Beomgyu yet It was Heeseung all along, standing right infront you yet you were so blind.Â
The once crush on Beomgyu that had felt so secure was torn by in seconds through that kiss. All that you knew was crushed by the boy you thought was stuck up and a geek.Â
Heeseung didnât know what to do. He was in a state of confusion. Why did he kiss you? He knows you like Beomgyu. And why did you kiss him back? You like Beomgyu. Heeseung thought of himself as so fucking stupid. Why did he leave you like that? He wanted to hug you so badly and pour everything that he was holding in. He didnât know what to do with these overwhelming amount of emotions. And all of these emotions were ones he felt for you. Not anyone else.
The days that followed the kiss were a blur, heâd been stuck in his bed, ignoring every call that Beomgyu made or any other friend of his. All he could do was sigh and rethink that day at the photobooth.Â
He couldnât face Beomgyu right now knowing it was your heart that belonged to him and he sure couldnât look at you, after knowing you liked someone else. The realisation pierced him, leaving a nasty sting.Â
On the other hand, you cursed the timing for making you and Heeseung kiss right at the end of the school year. You sulked, knowing you couldnât see Heeseung after this, having to wait a month to see him in person. So you could only take the landline and call him.
What was strange is that he didnât pick.
Again and again.
Was heâŚignoring you?
As more days passed, his absence left a hole in you. It hurt like a bitch. Seori visited occasionally only to meet your dull self. You were grateful you had your best friend by your side who comforted you everytime you slipped out a sob. Your heart winced at each time the call would go to voicemail. You knew you couldnât take it anymore so you called your last hope.
Choi Beomgyu.
âHey, can we talk? In person.â You said, keeping it short.
Moments later, you met him at the local park, the sight bringing memories of where you and Heeseung talked. Fuck.Â
âHey, whatâs up?â Beomgyu asked, taking a seat on the bench which you followed shortly after.
âHasâŚHeeseung been ignoring you?â You asked, your voice filled with hesitation.
Beomgyu let out a long sigh and leaned back, looking up at the night sky. âI donât know why, heâs never been like this.â
So he has.
âI even went to his house, but his mom just said heâs going through some kind of phase. I donât get it dude. Itâs all so confusing,â Beomgyu mindlessly ranted, âDid he ignore you too? I wouldnât be surprised.â
âHe did.â You answered, âAnd I think itâs all my fault.â
Beomgyu furrowed his eyebrows, looking at you now. âWhat happened?â
Taking a deep breath, you began, âBeomgyu, I like you. Or at least I liked you. â You mentally winced at the sight of his eyes widening. âBut now, I think I like Heeseung. Like a lot. And⌠we kissed in the photo booth that day, but after that, he just ran off.â
âLike the coward he is.â Beomgyu scoffed, clearly annoyed at his best friendâs loser-ish behaviour.
âAnd now, he probably still thinks I have feelings for you. I wanna tell him that I like him, he just wonât pick up.â You sulked, trying not to let the tears that formed in your eye fall.
âHey, hey.â Beomgyu rubbed his hand against your back to comfort you,âHe probably feels guilty about this, thatâs probably why heâs shutting everyone out. Iâm really sorry this happened, butâŚI think all we could do for now is to wait for him until heâs ready. Heâs probably overwhelmed by everything.â He sighed.
âI know Beomgyu, I just want to talk to him so bad. I want to clear everything up. I just want to see him.â You said, your voice shaky.Â
âHey, if itâs hurting you this much⌠Iâll try and talk to him. Iâll try to get through to him.â Beomgyu said, his voice gentleÂ
You sniffed, wiping a stray tear. âThank you.â
âIf it makes you stop crying.â He said with a smile.Â
You went back home with a comforted heart which was still hurting a bit. If you could only see Heeseung, everything would be cured. Youâd give him the biggest hug and tell him everything youâve been holding on to.
As you looked at the landline hanging on the wall, you leaned against the cold wall of your hallway. You picked the phone, dialling the familiar number once again.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Each ring felt like an eternity. You gripped the phone even tighter, desperate that heâd pick up. A lump appeared in your throat as the tears that were once gone came back and rested against your eyes, threatening to fall out.Â
âPlease pick upâŚPlease.â You voiced out in a whisper.
It went to voicemail.
You let out the breath youâd been holding. You let go of the telephone you had been holding. The ears that had been stinging your eyes finally fell out as you let out a sob. You just hoped he didnât hate you and you hoped that heâd pick up your calls tomorrow.
It had been days since Heeseung and you talked. Ever since that kiss, he hasnât talked to you or Beomgyu. But what could he do? He didnât seem to know. Christmas Eve had arrived, a time usually filled with warmth, joy, yet he just couldnât shake that dreaded feeling off him.
The slowly softly landed on the concrete outside the house, the night displaying the bright stars. He trudged out the house carrying a garbage bag to dispose of it.Â
Meanwhile, Beomgyu stood outside his house, padded up in his winter coat, his breath made visible in the air. He watched Heeseungâs dull self make a boring chore even more boring. He had been waiting a while for Heeseung to come out the house, and to his luck, Heeseungâs timing couldnât be more perfect.Â
Though Heeseung didnât see him at first since his mind was scattered somewhere else, Beomgyu knew just what to do. He crouched down to grab a handful of snow and made a makeshift snowball or war weapon as Beomgyu would like to call it.
Before Heeseung could even turn back, a snowball suddenly smacked him in his back. Startled, Heeseung turned around quickly as his eyes landed on the mischievous boy.Â
He groaned, âSeriously?â He brushed the snow off his jacket, sighing at the annoying act.
Beomgyu only smiled, crouching down once again to throw another. This time, it went straight to his arm and Heeseung could only sigh at his childish acts.
âWhat do you want?â Heeseung asked, feeling annoyed.
âCame to talk.â Beomgyu said, stepping closer. âYouâre a fucking idiot, you know that?âÂ
Heeseung raised his eyes at the insult, âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
âYes you do.â Beomgyu gazed at the boy, âYou like Y/n.â
His heart skipped a beat at the mention of your name, âI mean I get it, Sheâs pretty.â
Heeseungâs eyes narrowed straight at him, a shot of jealousy hit him, âDude.â
Beomgyu smiled at his reaction, âSo you do like her.â He laughed.
âThat doesnât matter anymore. I fucked up.â He sighed.
The older boy shook his head, âYou donât know her. I mean have you talked to her?â
âI just donât want to.â Heeseung said, a shaky voice emitted through his throat. âIâmâŚscared of what sheâs going to say.â
Beomgyu sighed at his friendâs foolishness but he didnât want to be the one to break the news of you liking him back, âYou never know until you try. You should talk to her.â
Beomgyu's words had left Heeseung cluttered with thoughts. He should really talk to you. Yet he still was running away from the idea of having to do anything with you. For all he could know, he mightâve really fucked up your friendship and he jus did not want to face that.Â
Heeseung started at the ground, his voice soft as a whisper, âIâm sorry I ignored you. It was stupid of me to do that.âÂ
Beomgyu put his hand around him as a warm, understanding gesture. âYou are. But youâre my best friend. You can talk to me, you know?â
The taller boy only nodded at his words, âYou know, Jay is having a christmas party now.â He said after a moment. âYou should come.âÂ
Heeseung glanced at the boy, hesitation ran through his face but he could only nod before Boemgyu grinned at him, taking him away from his house as he headed towards Jayâs.
The cold didnât seem to be biting anymore for Heeseung. He finally felt the relief and the comfort of christmas. The warmth of the christmas lights finally rushed towards him as he finally put on a smile to be reconciled with his best friend.
Now all he had to do was talk to you.
The warm air buzzed with sweaty teenagers and booze in every corner. There were a few garlands thrown around here and there, but that was just for the name of calling this a christmas party, though Jay just wanted to talk to girls. You were squished against some sophomores with Seori, trying to get past the drunk teenagers and head to the kitchen for some water.
âHey, did you see Sunghoon?â Seori asked, looking around.
âNo, you should probably ask Jay. I see him at the entrance.â You suggested, while taking two water bottles out the fridge. âHere.â You passed on to your best friend.
âOkay, donât get lost or get into trouble! No drugs!â She shouted as she dived back into the pile of drunk teenagers.Â
After a while, you went back into the living room, already regretting coming back into the crowd. Suddenly, a voice rang through your ears making you turn your head.Â
âHi Y/n! Didnât know you came!â Beomgyu exclaimed, hugging you with one hand while his other was occupied with a beer.
âYeah, Seori kinda forced me to come.â You said, with a hearty laugh. âIs he⌠here?â You asked, with hope.
Beomgyu smiled as he grinned, âHeâs at the back. You should talk to him.â He nudged you.
You smiled, thanking him as you left to see Heeseung. The thought of seeing him brought that warm feeling back in you. Something you missed feeling. At that moment, you realised how much of a void he left in you when he went M.I.A.Â
He was standing there, looking slightly out of place. His bambi eyes still managed to shine through the dark setting. You took in a deep breath and went up to him.
âHeeseung. Hi.âÂ
Heeseungâs heartbeat quickened. He gulped looking over you. âHey, Y/n.â
âHow are you?â You said, trying to engage in small talk knowing you wanted more than to hug him and clear everything up.
âIâm well. Finally got out of the house.â He slowly spoke, taking a sip out of his red cup. âHow bout you?âÂ
âIâm okayâŚâ To be honest, you werenât. You had spent so much time thinking about Heeseung and your feelings and how that whole moment at the photobooth felt. Just the thought of him and your countless failed attempts at calling him never left your mind.
âYou never picked up.â You curtly said. âI wasâŚwaiting for you.â
âIâm so sorry Y/n. I never meant to ignore you.â He said, coming closer to you. âI thought you were mad at me.â
âIâd never.â You smiled sincerely, looking up at him.Â
He smiled at that. âMerry Christmas Y/n.â The boy said softly, a small smile played on his lips.
You giggled as you came closer. âMerry Christmas Seung.âÂ
The tension between you both wore away. It felt normal again. It felt like the same old you and the same old Heeseung. And you liked how it was right now.Â
But just as you were about to say something more, Jake spoke up. âYo, you guys are standing under the mistletoe.â He yelled as he pointed at the sprig of mistletoe above you both.Â
âKISS! KISS! KISS!â The chants echoed throughout the room, and all you could look at was how flushed Heeseung looked. You needed to let him know that you liked him now. You werenât able to let out the words before so you took a step closer to him.Â
You could see how red his ears were to which you smiled at. Cute. As you looked at him for consent through your doe eyes, he took the cue to hook his hands around your waist, filling the gap between you two. You instinctively put your arms around his necks, bringing his face closer to you.Â
Just as Heeseung leaned in closer, with his breath feeling warm against your skin. Jay suddenly barged through the crowd, his voice loud enough to cut through the speakerâs music. You just caught him and just like that he slipped through your fingers.Â
âShit, Y/n!âÂ
You turned around startled, unconsciously pushing Heeseung away. âWhatâs wrong?â
âSeoriâs crying.â Jay said, in a quieter voice.Â
Your heart immediately sank, the moment you both had immediately fading away. Â
âFuck, is she okay?â You asked, voicing your concern.Â
âMan, is this kiss gonna happen?â Jake said, tired of waiting.Â
âShut the fuck up, man!â You yelled before following Jay with Heeseung.Â
Echoes of boos could be heard through the room, but you didnât care about that. The only thing in your mind was Seori. You just hoped nothing intense happened.
You were left to see a distressed Seori, bawling while Beomgyu patted her back. âSeori, whatâs wrong?â You asked, in a gentle manner, wiping the tears off her face.
âSunghoonâkissed Junhee!â Seori hiccuped.
You immediately hugged her, her sniffles now becoming muffled. âI thoughtâwe had something!âÂ
The tears soaked through your shirt as you as she let out uncontrollable sobs. You have never seen her like this in all of your seventeen years of living. It honestly broke your heart to see her in this state and realising how much that douchebag meant to her after countlessly brushing off the times youâve teased her about being wrapped around his finger.
It fucking sucked to see your best friend being torn into bits all because she liked a boy. You were too much into comforting Soeri that you completely forgot about your surroundingsâeven Heeseung.
âLetâs go home, okay?â You spoke in a gentle manner, squeezing her tight as you spoke to which she only nodded.
You headed out the door, thanking Beomgyu and Jay. Heeseung mindlessly followed you two, a soft look on his face.
As you led Seori out the party and onto the porch, her sobs got quieter as she hiccuped occasionally. The air fresh from December hit your face, the windy atmosphere almost feeling harsher towards you.Â
You finally let her out of your grip to let her collect herself and cool off a bit. You friend to Heeseung who was already looking at you with the light from the street lamps shining through his eyes.
âIâm..sorry we didnât get to talk.â You mumbled, looking at him through your eyelashes.
âDonât apologise. You did the right thing.â He reassured you with a soft smile, rubbing your arm as a gesture of comfort which made you smile back.
âWe can always talk later, dork.âÂ
You missed him calling you that. You missed everything he did.
âMerry Christmas, Seung.â You said, tiptoeing to kiss him on the cheek.Â
His eyes sprightly widened at that. He honestly couldnât believe his eyes. A pretty girl just kissed himâcorrection; the prettiest girl in the world just kissed him. He felt like he won the lottery and the price was you.Â
âMerry Christmas Y/n. Get home safe.â He said, as you walked away from him, hand in hand with Seori who was deep in her thoughts.
You waved towards him, your attention on him now converting to Seori who was beside you as you both headed to her house.
Heeseung touched the sticky mark that your lipgloss left on his cheek. The warmth of your small kiss still lingered on his cheek. As you disappeared from his sight, he knew he had to pour his heart and soul to the girl who had stolen his heart.
You always thought of spending a new yearâs eve party at someoneâs house, drinking booze and dancing with people left and right. But you realised, this year felt different. You leaned against the cold window of your bedroom, it was slightly drizzling outside. The sound of your tv turned on for the new yearâs parade complimented the white noise you could hear from outside your room.Â
It felt almost lonely, you turned around looking at the scenery of the night, the stars resting against the night sky. You had already beeped Seori through your pager but she has yet to call you, leaving you wondering what she was up to now.
Suddenly, a small thud against the window jolted you from your thoughts. Startled, you turned around to see the commotion outside. As you peered out the window, you saw four familiar figures standing outside your house, one of them wiggling a bag of soju bottles and snacks.Â
Ofcourse, theyâd show up unannounced.Â
You rolled your eyes at the sight of Seori, Beomgyu and Heeseung showing up in front of your door, to your surprise. You quickly went downstairs to let them inside and showed them to your bedroom.Â
âWhat are you guys doing here?â You asked, as you sat down on the cold floor where you were once seated.
âSaving your ass from a boring new year, duh!â Seori said, placing the bottles on the floor as she took a seat next to you.
âYou guys really didnât have to do this.â You said, though your eyes went up to Heeseung, like he was the only person who was in the room. You couldnât keep your eyes off of that glow that he gave.
âEy, it was more an excuse just to get black out drunk.â Beomgyu nudged your rib cage after sitting down next to you as Heeseung sat in front of you, not a ward out of his mouth.
As the night progressed, you four got comfortable and you later found out how much of a good pair Seori mixed with Beomgyu was. Though, you didnât expect them to actually stick to their words and get wasted. Laughter echoed from them every five minutes and long before you knew it, Seori started blabbering mindless words while Beomgyu giggled at the smallest thing.Â
âBeomgyu, what do you know about love?â Seori said, as she spread her legs, lying on the floor.
âLove?â Beomgyu giggled, âThatâs funny.â
âHey, have you ever been in love?â Seori mumbled to him.
âWith soju, yeah.â He joked, earning a light hit from Seori.
âYou kids still have to experience the heartbreak to know what love is.â Seori scoffed, her hands on her stomach as she looked at the ceiling. It was clear she was referencing what happened to her a few days ago.
Heeseung had now gotten closer, sitting right next to you. You both hadnât talked about what happened that night, leaving unspoken words in the air. Though you both had eased in the awkwardness and got to talking a lot, not minding the two drunkards.Â
âSheâs so funny when sheâs drunk.â You laughed at her state.
âBeomgyuâs worse.â Heeseung added in.Â
âThey make a good match.â You said, sighing at their foolishness. Heeseung smiling along with you.
A few hours, closer to midnight. Seori and Beomgyu were passed out, only leaving you two up to witness going into the new millennium.Â
âItâs almost midnight.â You pointed out, as crowds started to appear at the sighting for the fireworks, you intently watched it through the small tv you had in your room.Â
âYeah,â Heeseung replied, his voice low and soft.Â
âHey listen, Iâve been thinking about what you said the other day.â He said, making you go back to the night of Christmas Eve, the thought leaving a fresh mark in your mind.
You turned to look at Heeseung who was already staring at you with his bambi eyes.Â
âI think this is long overdue,â He sighed. âBut I just wanted to tell you that I like you, a lot. More than just a friend. Youâre really pretty and youâre such a dork, it makes me go crazy.â He slightly chuckled, making you smile at his silly speech.Â
âI mean every single word I say. I donât think I can start the new year by not telling you how you make me go crazy.â He softly said.
You had no words.
You realised you couldn't make up a small speech like his. It felt like too much to say. You had been pushing away your feelings for him, because you were too into Beomgyuâs handsome face. But after him opening your eyes wide, you realised the pretty boy sitting next to you was all you could ask for your new yearâs wish. You looked at him through your eyelashes, your mouth slightly agape.Â
You just wanted to kiss him.
So why not?
You leaned in, ever so slightly. You kissed him. The world outside seemed to slowly fade away. The countdown on the tv and the gentle snores from Seori and Beomgyu served as background noise. You could practically hear your heartbeat along with Heeseungâs. You could feel the slight taste of soju as his warm lips pressed against yours, his hand slowly reached its way to the back of your neck to pull you in closer. It felt like his lips against yours was the only thing that mattered.
3! 2! 1!
The fireworks started.
The kiss started in 1999 and ended in 2000, the clock struck twelve as the new year came in. You pulled away, exhaling that breath you didn't know you held in. You couldnât help but giggle softly, as he finally cracked a smile.
âI like you too, alot.â You looked at him, he rested his forehead against yours. âGuess I fell for the wrong best friend.â
âI guess I fell for a dork.â He joked, earning a slight tap on his chest by your hand. âAt least, that dork is mine, I hope.â
âIâd love to be yours, Hee.âÂ
Heeseung smiled at that, pecking you quickly. âHappy new year, dork.â
âHappy new year, Seung.â You replied, emotions filling you full.
He found his way to your lips again, kissing you with a tighter grip, and in that moment, you finally caught himâyou werenât letting the boy go anywhere. The boy who intimidated you at first, who called you a dork and now his, who cleaned your wounds and gave you piggyback rides. The boy who was your first love, now leaving him to adore you.
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Swept Away | Chapter 2: Paradise
Pairing: sugardaddy!Joel Miller x f!reader
Chapter Summary: It's your first day in paradise and, to your surprise, you get along with Joel much better than you expected.
Chapter Warnings: language, implied age gap, alcohol and food consumption, sugar daddy/baby dynamics, fake relationship, slow burn, flirting, sexual tension
WC: 10.1K
Series Masterlist
It was way too early. You hardly managed to get any sleep the night before, the excitement for what was to come too much for you to fully relax. You kept getting out of bed to look through your bag, wondering if you packed enough or forgot anything.
Joel had insisted you only needed to bring personal effects and essentials. You had given him your measurements once all the papers were signed and he sent an assistant on a shopping spree to buy you all new clothes and accessories based on the activities and events he knew you would be partaking in. He didn't bother to ask what your own personal style was like, if there were certain colors or clothes you preferred, because you were playing a part. You were his fiancĂŠe, someone who would enjoy the finer things in life and not care about comfort over style.
But just to be safe, you packed a few clothes of your own with your toiletries, books, makeup, hair products, and other odds and ends you kept shoving into your bag, thinking what's the harm?
Joel was waiting outside your apartment at three in the morning sharp, right when he told you he would in a sleek, black town car. You groggily stumbled down the steps, hauling your worn out duffel bag over one shoulder and your purse on the other. Joel's driver appeared out of nowhere, startling you when he put a hand on your shoulder to take your bag.
"Thank you," you told him softly, the stillness of the night making you feel like you shouldn't speak any louder. He just nodded and opened the back door, your bag clutched in his other hand, and you slid inside.
Joel didn't even spare you a glance. He looked down at his phone, his thumbs typing out some mile long email as you got situated next to him and buckled your seat belt.
"Thought I told you not to bring much."
"Good morning to you, too," you replied. He sighed and finally looked up from his phone.
"Mornin'. My assistant bought you everythin' you'd need."
You shrugged as Joel's driver pulled away from the curb. "I wanted some of my own things."
Joel didn't reply. He just went back to his phone while you closed your eyes and slid down further into the soft leather seat.
"How long is the flight?" you asked with your head resting against the tinted window, watching the dark, sleeping buildings pass you by.
"Thirteen or fourteen hours."
Ouch.
"That's a long time," you replied with a yawn. Joel paused his tapping on his phone to look at you.
"You can sleep on the plane, but I wanna review our backstory before we land."
"I'll try, but I've never been able to sleep the way you're practically sitting upright on a plane."
Joel frowned. "There's a bed."
You whipped your head in his direction as the driver began to get closer to the airport, the bright lights from the parking lots and runways filling the front seat of the car.
"A bed?"
"Yeah, a bed. The hell you think this is? I ain't flyin' commercial."
Your jaw dropped when the car drove past the departures exit and continued on towards the runway.
"Are we flying private?"
"'Course we're flyin' private."
You continued to stare through the front window as Joel's driver slowed down to a stop, rolling his window down when he reached a barrier to speak with a man in an orange vest inside a booth. Then the arm went up and the car continued on its way, excitement coursing through your veins as he drove down the runway, past a handful of other private jets either being boarded or refueling.
A squeal slipped past your lips when the car stopped in front of your plane and Joel looked at you once again, unamused.
"Get it outta your system now 'cause when we get there, you gotta act like this is your lifestyle. No slip ups, y'hear me?" Joel warned, but even his grumpy tone couldn't spoil your mood now.
"Yeah, yeah," you said dismissively before practically jumping out of the car when Joel's driver opened the door for you. You thanked him and danced from foot to foot, waiting for Joel to get out so he could lead you to the plane. He pocketed his phone and stretched an arm out, silently requesting you join him by his side.
"Oh, it's starting already?" you asked as you approached the plane. The pilot and two flight attendants stood next to the bottom of the stairs with wide smiles and their hands clasped obediently at their waists.
"No, just bein' courteous."
You raised an eyebrow at him and grinned when he rolled his eyes.
"Good morning," the pilot said as you got closer and reached out to shake Joel's hand. One of the flight attendants nodded to you both and ascended the stairs so you could follow her. Once you got to the top, what you saw took your breath away.
The body of the plane housed several oversized chairs peppered around two long, curved couches, and as you walked by and ran your fingertips along one of the beige cushions, the fabric felt smooth as butter. Strolling right past the glass desk already fitted with a laptop, you gawked at the big screen TV against one of the walls, which was displaying various snapshots of what you assumed to be the Fiji islands.
"Wow," you breathed as you tilted your head back to admire the lights that adorned the ceiling. They were dimmed but along the middle of the ceiling was a string of red LED lights that cast the furniture in a hauntingly beautiful glow.
"Back there's the bedroom," Joel told you gruffly. You swiveled around to see he was pointing past the main living space to a small area with a closed door. "Bathroom', too."
"This is beautiful. Do you own it?"
He nodded and picked one of the chairs to settle in, but you couldn't stop looking at all the amenities. Purple orchids sat securely to each side table and along the back wall was a narrow counter with fresh fruit, bottles of water and juice, and baked goods. Popping a grape in your mouth, you continued to examine the inside of the plane while the flight crew got everything situated for takeoff.
"This is the softest blanket ever," you told Joel when you picked up a beautiful white blanket from the back of a chair. His eyes flickered over to you briefly before focusing back on his phone. Once the stairs were brought up and locked, you picked a chair opposite from Joel and buckled yourself in, wrapping the blanket around yourself giddily in the process. He gave you another look but you just grinned.
"C'mon, lighten up. Nothing bad is going to happen if you let yourself enjoy something."
"I enjoy plenty," was all he said in response. You sighed and stared dreamily out the window as the plane began to depart.
The sun hadn't even begun to rise so once you were up high enough and all you could see was black out the window, you slid the shade closed and settled deeper into the chair.
"Thought you were gonna sleep," Joel said without looking up from the laptop he had brought over from the desk.
"Can't now. Too excited."
He narrowed his eyes at you before sighing and glancing over his shoulder, confirming the flight crew was busy and not eavesdropping. He then closed the laptop and tucked his hand into the inside pocket of his blazer, pulling out a small, blue box you only ever saw in magazine ads or movies.
"Here," he said, opening the box to show you a radiant oval shaped diamond so big you could probably see it from space.
"Holy shit," you whispered, reaching an arm out from under your blanket to nervously touch the ring.
"Don't get too excited, it's just on loan."
"Still," you muttered, "I've never seen a diamond like this in real life before."
You gulped when he took your left hand and carefully slid the ring over your finger. He gently tested it, giving it a little tug to make sure it fit before withdrawing his hand. The circumstances weren't exactly what you imagined when you were little and a man slid a ring on your finger for the first time, but what the hell? A lot of things didn't work out the way you expected in life.
"It suits you."
"Another errand for your assistant?" you joked, using the pad of your thumb to twirl the gold band around your finger, getting used to the feel. The corner of his mouth twitched and he quickly rubbed two fingers over his lips, then cleared his throat.
"Suppose we can go over our cover story, then," he said, changing the subject. You dropped your hand to your lap and tried not to play with the ring.
"Okay."
"We met at an art gallery two years ago. We'll say a mutual friend was havin' a show and we first bumped into each other in front of the same piece. I noticed how taken you were with it so I bought it for you as a surprise. When it was delivered, you reached out to the artist for my number, and the rest is history." He told the story stiffly, in one long breath as if he had rehearsed it. When he finished, he fiddled with the sleeve of his blazer, waiting for you to comment.
"What kind of piece was it?"
His eyes snapped up to yours and he tilted his head.
"Why does that matter?"
"It matters because it's how we first met, Joel. This one piece of art will forever bond us. It will be talked about at our wedding and, on our anniversary, you'll commission the artist to make a new piece, inspired by the original, just for me. We'll hang them above our bed and one day our children will hang them in their own homes. They'll tell everyone who comes to their house the story of the paintings and our love. That's why it matters."
Joel stared blankly at you for a long moment and you feared you might have gone too far and pissed him off but, surprisingly, he leaned back in his seat with a low whistle and shook his head.
"Goddamn, that's... that's good."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really," he said, rubbing his chin in thought, not bothering to hide his smirk now.
"Abstract expressionism," he eventually said. "Something in the vein of Kooning. We'll say the title of the work is Red 42 and I got into a biddin' war with 'nother buyer but I would stop at nothin' to get it for you so I ended up spendin' twice what it's worth."
"How romantic," you grinned.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, sweetheart," he replied, making you giggle as the flight crew began to enter the cabin with warm towels and a tray of beverages. You accepted a bottle of water with a small smile of thanks while Joel just waved them off.
"Okay, so what else? Shouldn't I know about your family, at least?"
Joel shot you a stern look and you dropped your gaze. For whatever reason, he seemed particularly sensitive about sharing anything personal with you.
"It won't come up," was all he said.
"Okay..." you said slowly, picking at the plastic label on your water bottle. "Well, tell me about work, then. How you got started, how you became so successful. All that stuff."
"Stuff?" Joel repeated with his eyebrows raised. You shrugged.
"Yeah. Stuff."
He sighed and looked out his window and for a moment, you thought he wasn't going to share anything about that part of his life, either, until he spoke again.
"One of my first jobs was a doorman at the Ritz in New York. I didn't have any experience but I had a nice smile and I knew how to use my charm when I had to, so I did well."
You had to bite back a remark about his smile, not wanting to interrupt him, but instead filed it away to wonder later where that smile went.
"I had odd jobs here and there, waitin' tables, tendin' bar, the usual, but I really loved workin' at the hotel. It felt like... like I finally belonged. I liked talkin' to important guests. I liked it when they'd remember my name and tip me well when I told 'em a good joke or helped 'em out with directions or whatever." He scratched his chin, still staring out the window. "But I made the mistake of thinkin' I was one of them. Y'know?" His eyes flashed to yours and you just nodded.
"Well, anyway. I wasn't. I was poor. I didn't go to college. I didn't have connections. I had nothin' but this fantasy that I belonged with these people and one day I just decided to do somethin' 'bout it."
"What did you do?" you asked softly, unknowingly leaning forward in your seat.
"I convinced the general manager of the hotel to take me under his wing. Help teach me more 'bout the hospitality industry. All the little tips and tricks, y'know? Like, pretendin' to offer an unhappy guest somethin' for free when it was already free with their stay. Offer 'em vouchers to use at the hotel restaurants. Not enough to cover their bill but enough to make 'em happy. That kinda thing."
You nodded along, mesmerized by the distant look in Joel's eye and the small smile tugging at his lips as he spoke.
"So, one day, I come to find out that general manager who mentored me was doin' some under the table shit. Any time someone famous would stay, he'd tip off the right people and get a decent buck. He figured the hotel wins 'cause it gets publicity, and he wins 'cause he's gettin' paid, right? Well, the owner didn't see it that way." Joel readjusted in his seat and you realized in that moment that it was the most he ever spoken to you at once.
"The owner didn't like that the paparazzi would be houndin' his guests. Made them wanna stay elsewhere. So, he got a memo one day 'bout who was tippin' off the paps and suddenly, that general manager job was open, and I got it."
You blinked slowly, replaying what he just said before you opened your mouth to reply.
"You got your manager fired and took his job?"
Joel chuckled dryly. "He did it to himself. I just saw an opportunity and took it."
"Okay..." you said, deciding to move past it. "Then what?"
"Spent several years as the GM at the Ritz, then the Plaza, til I realized I was thirty and had already made it as far as I could workin' for other men. A hotel off Fifth was goin' bankrupt, so I bought it with a couple other investors. My - I knew someone in construction, got a good deal on alotta materials and such, refurbished the entire spot, rebranded it and... The Parador was born."
"You did all this when you were thirty?"
Joel shrugged as if it were nothing but you could see the pride in his eyes. "Thirty-two when the first hotel opened."
"Whoa," you breathed while rubbing your eyes. You could see the sun beginning to break through the clouds in Joel's window. "That's so impressive, Joel. That's, like, a real rags to riches story."
He picked his phone up and tried to hide his pleased expression. "Why don't you go get some sleep? Gonna be a long flight 'n you should be well-rested when we get there."
You nodded and yawned behind your hand. "Are you sure you don't want to use the bed first?" you asked, but you were already standing up. He shook his head and motioned to his phone and laptop.
"I got work to do."
You wandered to the back of the plane and pushed open the door to the bedroom with a surprisingly decent sized bed. You weren't sure if you were just over tired or the mattress really was the most comfortable thing you'd ever laid on because within ten minutes, you were out like a light.
With the time change, you couldn't be sure how long you slept, but when you awoke and cracked the shade to peer out through the clouds, the sun was high in the sky over the ocean. The sunlight reflected off the massive rock on your left hand and you took another moment to admire it before dragging yourself out of bed.
When you tiptoed back out into the cabin, your eyes immediately found Joel. He was standing up with his back to you with his cell phone clutched in his hands. You let your eyes travel lower and you realized at some point he had changed into a perfectly tailored, navy blue suit.
"Isn't it going to be hot when we land?" you asked. You didn't know much about Fiji but in the past week you did remember to check the weather, and from what you saw, the temperature was supposed to be hot and humid.
Joel swiveled around in surprise when he heard your voice, his gaze dropping down your frame and suddenly you felt incredibly underdressed in your baggy shirt and leggings.
"Don't matter. I'm here on business, I ain't here for a vacation," he reminded you, as if you somehow could have forgot. "There's a couple things hangin' in the closet for you. Go pick one out and change, then we can eat." He turned back around to focus on his phone and you frowned. You weren't used to someone bossing you around like he was prone to doing but you had to remind yourself you were being paid to be there and do a job. Without complaint, you slipped back into the bedroom and shut the door before opening what you assumed was the closet to review your choices.
Your eyes widened when you saw the sampling of clothes hung up for you. The labels read names of designers you only ever saw people in TV or magazines wear, and occasionally, Celine. Your fingers gently dragged over the soft fabrics, then pulled each item out to hold it against yourself, trying to decide before finally choosing a light blue halter dress that fell perfectly at your knee and laid it on the bed.
Next, you opened a drawer, thinking there would be purses or sunglasses, then blushed when you were faced with matching sets of lace lingerie. You remembered Joel insisted sex wasn't part of the deal, and you even signed a contract stating such, but why would he buy you such fancy underwear if he didn't expect to see it? And why was the prospect of him seeing it getting you excited?
You closed the drawer, deciding to use your own underwear, then continued to explore the rest of the dresser. You found a small purse that looked like it would pair well with the dress, as well as a small bag of toiletries and a hair brush. Once you were dressed, you sifted through the bag. Should you wear a full face of makeup? What do rich people do? Probably get enough facial peels and cosmetic surgeries so they wouldn't need makeup. Remembering the temperature forecast, you decided on some tinted moisturizer and one coat of mascara. You dabbed on some expensive looking lip balm with the pad of your middle finger before brushing your hair. It was a little flat from the nap, so you rummaged around the other drawers but had no luck finding a curling iron. Luckily, you remembered to pack one.
You opened the bedroom door and walked back out into the cabin, your eyes trailing all over as you went, looking for your bag.
"Joel?" you asked, and he dragged his attention from his laptop. When his dark eyes landed on you, his shoulders stiffened, then his gaze slowly raked up and down your body, taking in your new look. Your breath hitched in your throat under his scrutiny and you shifted your weight from foot to foot.
"Do you know where my bag is?" you asked, hoping he didn't hear the nervousness in your voice from the way he was looking at you.
"Hmm?"
"My bag? I need my curling iron."
He swallowed and forced his eyes back up to your face. "Under the couch, but your hair looks fine."
You leaned forward a bit and saw the strap of your bag under the couch, just as he said. "No, it's flat, I need to -"
"It's not flat. You look beautiful."
Beautiful? That was a big jump from fine.
Your eyes darted back and forth between him and the bag, wondering if you should obey. Ultimately, you chose to forget the curling iron and sat down across from him. He didn't give you the impression he was the type of guy who blew smoke up your ass, so if he thought you looked good - beautiful - then you did.
"Do you prefer pasta or salad?" Joel asked when he spotted one of the flight crew waltzing up behind you with a smile and a pad of paper in her hand.
"Uh, whatever you're having is fine," you replied. Joel nodded and ordered chicken salads with sparkling waters for you both and the attendant disappeared back into the galley.
"When do we land?" you asked, jostling your arm and holding it up. The dainty gold watch you found in one of the drawers slid around your wrist so you could check the time.
"Couple more hours. Glenn's supposed to meet us at the airport and give us a tour of the island before droppin' us off at our hotel. Then the plan is to meet him for dinner, 'long with all the others, I imagine."
"You mean, the other hotel moguls?" you asked, and he nodded. "Do you know them?"
"Most of 'em. There ain't much real estate left on these islands so I'm willin' to bet we'll see some heavy hitters."
Lunch arrived and you didn't realize how hungry you were until you smelled the chicken and your mouth began to water. When you took your first bite, you let out a little moan and rolled your eyes.
"This is the best airplane food I've ever had," you said, hiding your mouth behind your hand. Joel chuckled and took a bite of his own salad before swallowing and wiping the corner of his mouth.
"So, you like workin' for a production company?"
You glanced up at him in surprise. For some reason, you weren't expecting him to inquire much about your real life during this trip.
"Uh, yeah. It was fun, I got to meet interesting people. It was exciting to see how movies and TV shows get made. I kind of always wanted to work for a talent agency, though," you confessed before stabbing a piece of chicken with your fork and popping it into your mouth.
"Yeah? Why's that?"
His elbows were propped on the table between you, hands cupped together with his fork in between, dangling over his plate and giving you his full attention. His eye contact was intense and it made you nervous.
"I like the idea of getting to know someone well enough to understand the types of projects they would be good in while also finding a way to make a difference in their lives. Help them achieve their dreams, you know?" You gave him a shy smile, watching as he absorbed what you said.
"I can see you bein' good at that," he said after a moment.
"You're just saying that. You hardly know me," you replied before continuing to pick at your lunch.
"True, I don't know you that well, but I got a knack for readin' people. You're quick on your feet and you're a good listener. You don't let people steamroll you and you know your worth. And, you don't quit. You're determined. Probably to a fault." He stared at you, watching your face as you worked through several emotions at once before you slowly swallowed the food in your mouth and cleared your throat.
"You got all that from the brief amount of time we've known each other?" you asked softly.
"Yep," he replied, fighting back a smirk. "How'd I do?"
You grinned and looked down at your half eaten salad, trying to hide the embarrassment from your eyes when you replied, "not bad, actually."
When you were finished with your lunch and a crew member came to collect your plates, Joel picked up his phone and it was then you realized he hadn't looked at it once the entire time you were eating.
"Do you ever sleep?"
His glanced up at you with an amused look. "Occasionally."
"Workaholic, then?"
"You tryin' to get a read on me now?"
"Maybe," you said, biting your lower lip playfully.
He shook his head and focused back on his phone.
"Good luck, sweetheart."
When the pilot announced he was getting ready to descend, your stomach started doing flips and your hands shook when you tightened your seatbelt. It seemed all the excitement you harbored before had quickly been replaced with anxiety. Taking a few deep breaths, you closed your eyes and tried to control your nerves, but Joel could see right through you.
"You good?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just getting nervous."
"Why?"
You opened your eyes. "I'm worried they'll be able to tell I'm not like you. I don't know all of the trendy designers and artists. I don't know the names of the chefs at Michelin star restaurants and I can't tell the difference between boxed wine and a three hundred bottle of Merlot." The words suddenly came tumbling out as quickly as you were landing but you found it actually felt better to talk to him about it. "For all I know, this ring could be fake but I'd believe it's real because it's heavy and shiny."
"You don't gotta worry 'bout any of that. I'll handle it. You just smile and look pretty and pretend you're in love with me. That's all you gotta do, okay?" he said with a soft tone you hadn't heard from him yet. "And trust me, the ring is real."
You grinned and looked out the window, feeling a little better. At that point, the plane had dipped below the clouds and you could see the crystal clear ocean and the lush tropical islands below. You noted a few resorts you could see from your side of the plane but at the very end of the island was a massive piece of land covered in palm trees and other thick greenery.
"That's the spot," he said as if he were reading your mind. "That's the piece of land we're here to get."
You took a deep breath and recalibrated, shaking off the anxiety. Instead, you rehearsed your story in your head and mentally practiced your greeting and smile, boosting your confidence while the wheels of the plane touched down and you were jolted forward in your seat. The seatbelt dug into your hips and your fingers gripped the armrests while the plane slowed down and eventually came to a stop.
There was a fancy looking car on the tarmac and an older gentleman with a sizable belly and a full head of white hair standing next to it with his hands shoved into the pockets of his cargo shorts and sandals.
Cargo shorts? That couldn't be...
"Glenn," Joel murmured in your ear when he stood up behind you and peered through the window.
"That's the real estate guy?" you asked while he fixed his tie. He reached down and scooped up his wallet and phone with a nod and was about to head to the stairs when you stopped him with your hands on his shoulders. "Let me fix this," you said quietly, making sure the collar of his shirt wasn't stuck underneath his blazer. When you were satisfied, you ran your palms across his shoulders with a smile. "Let's go knock 'em dead, honey."
Joel rolled his eyes but before he turned away, you caught the wide smile stretched across his face. That's where it went, you thought.
"Glenn!" Joel's deep voice boomed from the stairs as he made his way down with you following closely behind. "How the hell have ya been?" he asked, extending an arm just for Glenn to grab it and pull him into a hug with a few slaps on the back.
"I've been great, Joel. Thrilled you could make it, I know you're a busy man and taking a month out of your schedule is tough," Glenn replied with a toothy smile. Then his eyes trailed over Joel's shoulder and he lit up when he spotted you approaching. "Oh, who's this?"
Joel turned around with a radiant smile that stunned you for a moment until you remembered it was probably all for show. He introduced you by name and ushered you forward, wrapping one arm around your shoulders lovingly while you stuck your arm out with a smile of your own to shake Glenn's hand. "This is my fiancĂŠe," Joel added, and it was impossible to miss the surprise on Glenn's face when he looked back at Joel.
"You're engaged?" he asked, the excitement evident in his tone. Joel grinned and nodded.
"Popped the question a few weeks back and she was crazy enough to say yes," he replied. This jovial version of Joel was throwing you off but you did your best to not give it much thought. Instead, you focused on your own little act: playing the smitten fiancĂŠe.
"It was on the beach in Santa Monica at sunset," you said, thrusting your left hand out for Glenn to look at your ring. He gave a low whistle and raised his eyebrows at Joel. "He knows I love the beach so much. I couldn't wait to come visit your beautiful island, I'm so excited to see it!" you gushed, wondering if you were laying it on too thick, but based on the sparkle in Glenn's eye, you were doing just fine.
"Well, come! Hop in and I'll take you around before dropping you off at The Greenview. Should only take an hour, then you can get settled in before dinner," Glenn said as he opened the backseat of the car for you to slide in. Joel followed after he gave his flight crew instructions on where to take your belongings and Glenn settled into the driver's seat with a grunt.
"How's Mary doin'?" Joel asked as Glenn pulled away from the tarmac.
"She's great, she'll be joining us tonight along with my boys."
"Joel mentioned you have six kids," you piped up and you saw Glenn nod his head.
"If there's one thing I've done right in my life, it's having those kids," he said warmly. You smiled, your nerves already put at ease. You were expecting an uptight, rich type, but Glenn seemed like the exact opposite. If it weren't for the expensive car, you never would have guessed he was wealthy.
"I can't wait to have kids of our own," you said dreamily, then risked a glance at Joel. He smirked and gently shook his head.
"You won't regret it. They'll take years off your life but, dammit, if it ain't worth it," Glenn said with a look at the two of you in his review mirror. "Maybe having a couple kids will loosen you up a bit, Joel. Don't tell me you brought suits to wear the whole time you're here."
Joel chuckled and took your hand in his. The touch surprised you given Glenn couldn't even see it from where he was sitting, but you enjoyed it all the same.
"Oh, you know me," was all he said, but Glenn tsked as he merged into traffic.
"It's way too hot for those kinda formalities. Tonight we're having dinner on the beach. You don't wanna get sand in those loafers, now, do ya?" Glenn teased. Joel chuckled and changed the subject while you gazed out the window, watching the cute little restaurants and stores fly by until the car turned and suddenly you had a fantastic view of the ocean.
"Oh, wow, look at the water," you breathed, squeezing Joel's hand. "I've never seen something so beautiful before," you added, unable to peel your eyes away from the white, sandy beaches and turquoise water. You heard Joel murmur in agreement next to you but you were too taken with the thick, tropical forests dotted with shocks of purples, pinks, yellows and whites from the hibiscus plants growing wild along the side of the road.
"I think island life will suit you," Glenn said from the front seat with a grin.
"I may never leave," you joked, making both men chuckle.
"Well, that settles it. You'll have to have the wedding here, Joel."
"Don't tempt me," he replied. You dragged your eyes away from your window to look at Joel, who gave you an appraising nod.
"I think she'll be good for you. Help you relax a bit," Glenn laughed before pointing out the restaurant where dinner will be held later that evening as he drove by.
"Guess we'll find out," Joel replied, his gaze lingering on you after you turned your attention back to the window.
Glenn dropped you off in front of a beautiful resort named The Greenview, which, like many other resorts you saw along the way, was built to blend in and mimic the exotic landscape around it. The main entrance was built like a tiki hut with a fake thatched conical shaped roof and rounded, wooden pillars complete with knots framing the exterior entrance. When you followed Joel through the doors, you found the inside was similarly designed. A beautiful waterfall feature was displayed prominently in the lobby and when you walked by, you spotted brightly colored koi fish in the small pond below.
Once Joel checked you in, a bellhop ushered you towards the elevator, explaining all of the amenities the hotel had to offer as he led you to your room.
"Here we are, the Dream House Villa," he announced before unlocking the door and holding it open so you could walk in first. You gasped at the stunning layout, barely registering anything the bellhop was saying. The decor, much like the rest of the hotel, was an island theme. The floors and walls were all made of wood, and the small foyer you first stepped into held a little waterfall feature with gorgeous mood lighting built in.
You remembered what Joel had told you about containing your excitement so you bit your tongue and waited until the bellhop left before you whipped around to Joel with a huge smile plastered across your face.
"Look! There's an infinity pool right outside!"
"I see," he replied, but he appeared distracted. Still, you continued to lavish praise about the ocean view and you mentally pictured yourself relaxing on the covered daybed outside with a frozen cocktail as soon as possible. When it became apparent Joel wasn't in the same mood, you dialed it back.
"I'm sure your hotels are much nicer," you offered, but he waved you off.
"I need new clothes," he grumbled. You frowned and wandered over to follow him into the master suite where he had flung open one of the closets to reveal mostly suits, just like Glenn had suspected. "I can't stick out, I gotta blend in and make myself more relatable. He's a lot more casual since the last time I saw him. I had no idea he turned into Jimmy fuckin' Buffet."
You chewed on your bottom lip and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Let's go shopping before dinner."
Joel groaned and rubbed his jaw. "My assistant usually does this kinda stuff."
"That's okay, I can help," you assured him. "It'll be fun. I saw a bunch of places on the way here we could check out."
Joel seemed to consider it for a moment before he sighed and shrugged off his blazer. "Alright. Lemme change and I'll meet you out there in five."
You turned to leave but when he called your name, you spun back around. "Here, your bag," he said, holding it out for you to take. "The crew brought all our stuff in here, we can move your clothes to the other room later."
"Oh, right, thanks," you said, taking the bag. "I'll go check my room out while you're getting ready."
The second bedroom was easy enough to find as it was directly across the hall. Both rooms had an ocean view and although Joel had his own bathroom attached and a king sized bed, you would do just fine with the queen bed and a bathroom down the hall.
You dropped your bag on the oversized white comforter and wandered aimlessly around the room, opening and closing dressers and drawers until you noticed two flat circular buttons built into the end table next to your bed.
"Hm," you said to yourself before pressing the first one and jumping when you heard a soft whirring noise behind you. You laughed out loud when a television appeared from behind two wood panels in the wall, then pressed the next button and watched the blinds slowly close, blocking out all the natural light flooding the room.
"What're ya doin' in the dark?" Joel's low voice carried over from the door. You pressed the button again and the blinds went back up.
"Just checking things out. Ready to go?" you asked, your gaze traveling down to take in his new outfit: a white polo shirt and khaki shorts.
"Yeah. Good thing I packed my golf clothes."
You followed him out of the room and through the rest of the villa. "You golf?"
"Yeah, but I hate it. Only came prepared 'cause I know Glenn likes to golf."
"You might be the first millionaire who hates golf," you teased when you walked by him as he held the door open for you. He grinned and made sure the door was shut tight before falling in step beside you.
"I don't mind the drinkin' part afterwards," he replied, then gently placed his hand on your lower back, guiding you into the open elevator car. You stood in a comfortable silence while the elevator took you back down to the lobby and you waited off to the side while Joel went to the front desk to request a car.
"You sure you know what you're doin'? You know anythin' 'bout fashion?" Joel asked once you settled into the backseat of a town car and he had given the driver instructions to take you to the nearest shopping plaza.
"Not really, but I saw what Glenn was wearing. I'm sure we can find some good options."
He hummed and nodded before slipping on his sunglasses and looking out the window, effectively ending the conversation. You decided to use that time to pull out your phone and text Celine, letting her know you arrived safely.
Don't forget to send me pics!
How are things with Joel? Is it awkward?
You glanced over at him, making sure he couldn't see over your shoulder before replying.
Actually things are pretty good
He's not so bad once you get to know him
You rolled your eyes when Celine's next message came through.
Remember - you're only pretending to be his fiancĂŠe ;)
Then again, if I had a daddy who looked like him, I would try to make that fantasy a reality lol
The car pulled over and came to a stop in front of a strip of shops along a quaint looking road so you quickly told Celine you would check in with her later before the driver opened your door and you slid out, patting down your dress and looking around.
"Let's try there," you said once he joined you at your side. You pointed to a store a few doors down from where the car was parked. Inside the window, you could see male mannequins sporting trendy looking beachware.
When you opened the door, you were greeted with beautiful island music filtering through the speakers. The walls were painted a deep shade of blue, most likely chosen because of the resemblance to the water, and a hand painted mural of a beach with the sun glittering off the ocean was painted behind the register.
You began to sift through the nearest rack, pulling out various linen button downs and crochet shirts after confirming his size. Joel wandered deeper into the store to look at pants while you examined each article of clothing carefully. You were trying to decide if Joel could pull off bright purple when a young woman with big hoop earrings and a loose fitting paisley dress approached with a smile.
"Is there anything I can help you with?"
You gave her a cheesy grin and held up the shirts draped over your arm. "I'm shopping for my fiancĂŠ. We just arrived and the airport lost his luggage, can you believe it?" You gave her a devestated look which she sympathetically mirrored and stretched her arms out.
"Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that! Let me take those into a fitting room for you."
"Thank you so much, I'll find him and bring him right back."
You watched her sashay to the back of the store with the armful of shirts you had picked out before turning around just to find Joel standing on the other side of the rack.
"You're good at this," Joel said, sounding astonished.
"Good at what?" you asked.
"You're good at thinkin' on your feet and comin' up with these stories." He rounded the rack and, with a little smirk, gently pinched your chin affectionately between his thumb and forefinger. It happened so fast you didn't even have time to register it before he was walking in the direction of the fitting rooms with some shorts and pants slung over his shoulder. Trailing after him, you tried to ignore the fluttering in your chest, telling yourself his touch just took you by surprise and that's all it was.
You sat in a whicker chair outside Joel's fitting room, one leg crossed over the other as you fondled the ring on your finger and listened to Joel muttering under his breath on the other side of the door.
"Are you ever going to come out of there?" you asked. He shuffled around the room and swung the door open with a deep sigh.
"I don't know 'bout some of these shirts," he said, eyes flickering to a bunch hung up separately from the rest. "The neckline's too low, I don't wear stuff like that."
"Oh, come on! At least let me see what they look like on," you begged. "I like what you have on now," you added, pointing to the light blue linen shirt and relaxed fit khakis.
"Yeah, this ain't bad," he agreed, tugging on the material a bit before shutting the door. "I'll try one of these on and that's it," he called out. You could hear the rustling of fabric and the metal scratch of a zipper and you grinned at how easily the two of you fell into these roles you were playing.
When he opened the door a few minutes later, you were completely unprepared. He had chosen to pair a green crochet top with a pair of white shorts that fell right above his knee but your eyes were glued to the generous amount of smooth, tanned chest that was exposed from the plunging V neck.
Your lips parted as you continued to stare, watching the way the muscles and tendons in his neck twitched as he spoke. Shit, he was speaking and you had no idea what he said.
"Huh?"
Joel frowned. "I said, this ain't my style. At all. I look ridiculous."
"No, you do not look ridiculous, you look good," you immediately argued.
"I'm too old for-"
"No, Joel, listen to me: you look really fucking hot," you blurted out, still staring at his bronze chest. He fell silent and a moment later, you realized what you said and felt your cheeks flare with heat. Snapping your eyes up to his, you began to apologize.
"I'm sorry, that was probably inappropriate, Jesus Christ," you muttered, pressing the palms of your hands against your cheeks to hide your embarrassment, but he just chuckled and dropped his gaze to the floor. When he turned around to close the door, you noticed in the mirror his own cheeks were beginning to stain pink from the compliment.
Joel didn't say anything else about your comment but he ended up buying all the clothes you picked out for him. When you saw the V neck shirts being rung up, he shot you a wink. You grinned and shyly looked away, once again ignoring that excited feeling in your chest.
"Hope this dinner ends quick, I'm fuckin' beat," Joel grumbled at your side as he led you up to the host stand, one hand wrapped around the inside of his elbow and the other clutching a small, blue purse that matched the backless floor length dress you chose with blue palm leaves printed all over.
"You should have slept on the plane," you murmured, then gave the host a bright smile as Joel told him Glenn's name. He quickly ushered you through the restaurant and onto the beach, where a long table was set up and decorated with vibrant, gorgeous tropical flowers.
The seats were already filled by the other guests, who were sitting and leaning across the table to chat and laugh with drinks in hand.
"Alright, here we go," Joel told you before taking a deep breath and forcing a big smile and wave when one of the men caught his eye.
"Scott! It's been years!" he exclaimed. You smiled and loosened your grip so Joel could give the other man a welcoming hug.
After ten minutes of introductions, your head was spinning. You decided to keep it to one alcoholic drink that evening because you needed to keep a clear head and memorize who the people were that you were up against. Scott and his wife Tammy owned a chain of hotels in the northeast and appeared to be a little older than Joel. Harry owned a handful of exotic resorts mostly in Latin America but was looking to expand. He was accompanied by his husband, Ian, who was an artist. Jack and Lynne had a large footprint of three star hotels across America but as Joel told you later, their hotels lacked character. And finally, Zachary owned a string of hotels similar to The Parador but had a French motif. Zachary brought along his much younger girlfriend, Zoe, who seemed incredibly sweet.
"Down at the end, those two younger guys? They're Glenn's boys. The ones that'll take over for him when he retires," Joel said, jutting his chin in their direction. You casually glanced down the table and saw two men in their late twenties on either side of Glenn and his wife, Mary. You could see the family resemblance in their faces but one had dark, almost black hair, and the other's hair was dirty blonde.
"What are their names?"
"The blonde's Trevor, the other one's Brooks."
"Trevor and Brooks," you repeated softly to yourself, silently testing your memory as you went down the table, naming each person in your head as you went. Joel watched you for a moment before he leaned in.
"You're doin' great, don't worry."
You flashed him a smile and whispered your thanks right as the first course arrived.
For a majority of the meal, you smiled and laughed at the right times while you listened to rich people tell stories about their conflicts with private schools or run-ins with government officials, stories that made the conversations you have with your friends over dinner sound like they took place in a third grade cafeteria. Joel also remained relatively quiet with the exception of tossing in a quick comment here or there to be polite but when you looked at him, you could see the exhaustion in his eyes. It was no wonder he wasn't prepared when Glenn and Mary, who had just gotten done telling the table how they met in high school, asked to hear how all the couples met.
Great, you thought to yourself. We rehearsed this, it will be fine.
Scott went first, telling a funny and cute story about how he met Tammy in college. He had walked into the wrong class and he was too embarrassed to leave so he sat through a three hour lecture on women's studies. It only took him thirty minutes to realize he was the only man in the room and Tammy found his humility endearing. The rest was history.
Glenn and Mary exchanged warm glances at the story, gushing over them and saying words like fate and soulmate.
Next, Zachary began to boast about how he met Zoe, and the look on Glenn and Mary's faces slowly changed.
"It was opening night for The Barber of Seville. I had just sat down in my seat when this beautiful thing came through the curtain, absolutely convinced we were sitting in her seat. I said, 'Darling, I've had the same box seats in this theater since before you were born,'" Zachary laughed and the rest of the table joined in but you noticed Glenn and Mary only gave him tight, polite smiles as he continued.
"Well, I was taken with her, I mean, can you blame me?" Zachary joked, tossing his arm around Zoe's shoulders. "I insisted she stay and enjoy the show. By the end of the evening I was chartering my private jet to whisk her off to Italy that very night..."
Zachary continued to tell the table about Italy and all the expensive restaurants he took her to when Joel leaned into your side.
"We can't go with our story."
You whipped your head around to look at him, eyes wide.
"What do you mean?" you asked, panic lacing your voice.
"It's too pretentious. Look at them, they hate every goddamn word," he said quietly, snaking his arm around your shoulders so it looked like he was maybe talking about the food or how beautiful you looked. "We can't tell some story about your looks and my wealth. It's gotta be, fuckin'... I don't know. Warm. Romantic." He rubbed nervously at the back of his neck.
"I thought it was romantic..."
"Not enough."
"Okay, so what do we say?" you whispered.
"I don't know, I gotta think. Fuck," he grumbled, "I'm too fuckin' tired for this shit."
Unfortunately, Joel didn't have the luxury of time because Zachary finally finished up his long-winded story and Glenn's eyes landed on the two of you.
"Well, you told me how he proposed but we'd all love to hear how you first met," Glenn said, leaning forward, elbows pressed into the table with a sparkle in his eye. You glanced at Joel, your heart slamming wildly in your chest, and you knew immediately he couldn't think of anything new. He sighed and clenched his jaw before opening his mouth, about to launch into the only story you had talked about when you cut him off with a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Oh, let me tell it," you said lovingly. You could see the confusion in his eyes as they shifted back and forth between you and Glenn and he slowly nodded before you turned back to your host.
"Joel hired me," you began, dropping your hand from his shoulder. "I was a nobody. Hardly any experience but he took a chance and hired me to manage the floor staff at The Parador Los Angeles. I was so grateful for the job that I would stay late almost every night just to make sure everything was perfect for our guests." You shot Joel what you hoped was a loving glance before continuing with your bullshit story.
"One night, as I was walking down to my car, I ran into Joel on the elevator. He was surprised I was staying so late and I explained we had a wedding the next day and I wanted to make sure the wedding party's favors were all set. Each room was supposed to get a box of Belgium chocolates but they melted in transport so I ran out to get fresh ones. Anyway," you said with a little smile, acting as if you were getting lost in a memory. Glenn and Mary appeared more and more delighted with each word. "I think it impressed him because after that night, I saw him almost every day. He would walk across the floor and wouldn't say a word but I caught him looking at me once or twice. Then, I got a call one day at the front desk, and guess who it was."
"Joel?" Mary asked excitedly. You nodded and leaned into Joel's shoulder.
"He asked me to come up to his office. I couldn't decide if he was firing me or giving me a promotion, but turns out, it was neither. He asked me to dinner and do you remember what I said?" you asked, turning to face Joel with a sweet smile. He was giving you a look you couldn't quite read and you just hoped you were doing the right thing.
"Uh, I think-" he began, but you waved him off and turned back to Mary. Fuck it, you were in too deep now, anyway.
"I laughed. I laughed in his face! I didn't believe him! Why would someone like him want anything to do with someone like me? I didn't come from a wealthy family. I didn't have connections or anything to offer. But he picked me. And every day since, I wake up and ask myself," you turned your head to gaze up adoringly at Joel. "How did I get so lucky?"
He pinned you with an intense stare and, without hesitating, Joel pressed his lips against yours so softly it almost made you gasp. He tasted like the wine he had with dinner and the hairs from his mustache tickled your nose. You giggled and pulled away, but not before dragging the pad of your thumb over his lip to remove your lipstick that transferred.
"Oh, that's just the sweetest story! Isn't it, Glenn?" Mary gushed, grabbing onto his arm with a huge smile. You tore your eyes away from each other to look back down the table. "It's like something out of a movie or book!"
"Goddamn, Joel, I didn't realize you were such a romantic. Now I gotta step up my game over here," he joked before pinching Mary's chin.
Harry and Ian were next to tell their story but you weren't listening. Your pulse was racing and your hands shook in your lap as your adrenaline began to wear off. Then, Joel's hand slid over your thigh, giving your leg a little reassuring squeeze as if he could sense your nervousness.
"You did so good, sweetheart," he whispered in your ear, making your skin prickle.
He could have removed his hand after that. No one was looking, no one could even see, but he didn't. He kept it planted there as if he were grounding you to him. Occasionally, he would laugh at something one of the other guests said or take a sip of wine, but his hand remained steady under the table. The longer it stayed, the more it became the only thing you could focus on.
Once dinner wrapped up and everyone stood, his hand finally dropped and you instantly longed for his touch again. On the way back to the hotel, Joel took a work call, which you tuned out. Instead, you spent the time telling yourself it was the wine and the jet lag that had you feeling fuzzy and excited.
In the elevator on the way up to your room, once you had some privacy, Joel turned to you and quietly said your name. When you looked into his eyes, what you saw caused your breath catch in your throat. He was looking at you with a tenderness you didn't think he was capable of and it made you swallow nervously.
"How'd you come up with that story on the fly like that?" he asked, his features softening and gaze only dipping from your eyes to your lips once.
It didn't mean anything.
"I-I don't know, it just came to me, I guess," you replied a little breathlessly.
It looked like he was about to say something else when the elevator doors slid open. He pressed his hand against the side of the car to hold the doors while you stepped out into the hall. He fell in step beside you as you walked the short distance to your room in silence.
"Thank you," he managed to say once he opened the door, letting you both in.
You shrugged as if it were nothing but on the inside you were preening, excited that you had managed to please him. When you entered into this unusual situation, you had no idea what to expect or how to behave, but considering how well the first day went, maybe you overthought things.
"I'm sure the original story would have been fine, too."
He nodded and tossed the keycard on the table by the door before strolling into the kitchenette for two waters.
"Wouldn't've ruined my chances, most likely, but I think the new story put me a notch above good ol' Zach, at least," he said with a grin and handing you a bottle of water. You took it with a small thanks and awkwardly looked around the huge villa.
"Well, you should try to get some sleep now," you told him, turning just in time to catch the way his eyes flickered over the soft curves of your body.
With a tired sigh, he nodded in agreement. "'Bout to fall asleep standin' up," he joked, walking down the short hallway between your two rooms, the both of you coming to a stop outside your doors.
"Okay. Good night," you said, not wanting to prolong the tension that was building up since you left dinner.
"Night."
You opened your door and gave him a quick smile over your shoulder before disappearing inside your room. You leaned against the door and took a deep, steadying breath in, then pushed off before going deeper into your room.
Before dinner, the two of you had moved all your things into your closet and you had the foresight to toss a pair of pajamas on your bed before you left. Shimmying out of your second dress of the day, you slipped on the lavender cotton tank top and matching shorts before grabbing your bag of toiletries, but when you reopened your door to go to the bathroom, you were surprised to find Joel on the other side with his hand raised as if he were about to knock.
"Oh!" you gasped in surprise.
"Sorry," he said sheepishly.
"It's okay, I didn't hear you."
He scratched his chin before pulling a white envelope out of his pocket and handing it to you.
"What's this?" you asked, taking it but not opening it.
"For you. For tonight. You did good, so..." he trailed off and stared at the plush carpet beneath his feet. Then it dawned on you what it was and your eyes widened in surprise.
"Oh, you don't -"
"I want to. You were hired for a job and you did it well, so you deserve it."
Your gaze dropped to the envelope, flipping it over in your hand before nodding.
"It's my pleasure," you finally replied, throat a little tight. When your eyes met again, that little glimpse of the softer side to him was gone and the cold blooded business man you first met was back.
"Alright, then. G'night," he said abruptly, then turned on his heel and disappeared back into his bedroom.
After you washed up and got into bed, you scrolled on your phone for a bit before sighing and looking at the envelope of cash propped up against the lamp on your end table, acting as a glaring reminder of what you were hired to do.
So why did you feel so conflicted taking it?
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#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fic#joel miller tlou#joel x reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller au#joel the last of us#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us au#the last of us fic#swept away fic
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Hardersson x Teen!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: You get a concussion
It was a rare day off for both Magda and Pernille, one they spend watching movies without a certain thirteen year old studying at the kitchen table.
It's during a small gap in choosing the next movie when Pernille gets the call.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Miss Harder. We're just calling in regards to y/n?"
Pernille sits up. "Why? Is something wrong?"
Her first thought is that you've had an anxiety attack. You haven't had one in a while. You've been happy with your school work and you've been happy with your training. But Pernille can't think of any other reason why the staff were calling her.
"I'm afraid that she caught a ball in the face a little while ago and collided with her posts," The staff member explains," We've had her checked out by the medics and it's a low-grade concussion but we're just wanting you to come and pick her up."
"Yeah, yeah, of course. We'll be right there."
Magda looks confused as Pernille drops the call, not really getting an answer until they're already in the car.
You're sitting by the receptionist when they get there, holding a cold compress to your head.
"That's quite the egg you've got there," Magda teases as she looks over the swelling," Does it hurt?"
You huff. "A little bit. Is it true I can't come back to training for ten days?"
"You can't come back until you're fully healed," Magda says," Ten days is the average. Could be up to fourteen."
You huff again, kicking your training bag in annoyance. "It's not that bad!"
"It's bad if you start getting into the habit of playing while injured," Magda replies with a pointed look," Come on, up. Let's get you home."
You stubbornly don't talk in the car, arms crossed over your chest until Pernille snaps at you for not using the icepack.
She fusses with you when you get home as you're shepherded onto the sofa and buried under blankets.
You groan when she flashes a penlight in your eyes.
"Why do you even have one of those?" You complain, trying to push her hand away.
"Who cares why?" Pernille says," Stop moving."
"They already did it at practice," You say, still trying to avoid the light," I'm fine. It's just a headache."
"Did they give you painkillers?"
"Momma," You say," I'm fine."
She gives you a look. "Magda, grab some painkillers please."
Magda rolls her eyes. "If she says she's fine then she's fine."
"That would be the case if she wasn't your daughter," Pernille argues back," You do this too, so painkillers, please, Magda."
You're practically forced to swallow down some pills before Momma and Morsa settle in with you. You lay horizontally on the sofa with your feet in Morsa's lap and your head in Momma's.
The tv is switched off due to your concussion but you can hear Morsa watching something on her phone.
You try to sit up but Momma's gentle hand in your hair forces it to remain in her lap.
"Momma," You complain," I just want to-"
"Go on your Morsa's phone, yes, I know but you know concussion protocol. No technology."
"It's unfair," You say," She's teasing me!"
"Hey!" Morsa laughs," It's not my fault you got hit in the head!"
You stick your tongue out at her and the argument goes back and forth for a while before Momma manoeuvres you to your feet.
"I don't want to nap!" You say as she pulls you up the stairs.
Pernille doesn't listen to you and, for some reason, you allow yourself to be tucked into bed. Your head pounds even though you've taken a painkiller and you reach out to grab her wrist when she moves to go.
"Momma," You say, hating how your voice suddenly sounds all weak and pathetic," Please don't go."
"Of course not, princesse," She assures you," I'm just going to turn off your light. You're silly for thinking I'm leaving you alone while you're injured."
"You're silly for thinking either of us are leaving." Morsa appears in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame as you give her a wry smile.
"Are you here to go on your phone while I can't?"
Morsa laughs. "Who do you think I am, princesse? I can't just want to take a nap with you?"
"Going by your track record? No."
She slips into bed with you, wiggling around under the covers for a moment. "Can I have some pillow?"
You turn on your side, resting your head on Momma's chest with a smug smile. "No."
"Come on! You're not even using it!"
"Why don't you use your phone as a pillow?" You taunt and Morsa groans.
"Are you really holding that against me? I'm not the one with the concussion!"
"Magda," Momma says," Stop teasing her."
"Yeah, Morsa, stop teasing me!"
"And you," Momma says," We're meant to be napping. You're hurt."
You huff. "Do I have to?"
"Yes. So close your eyes and go to sleep. Maybe if you nap, you'll heal up quicker."
You don't need much more convincing than that.
#woso x reader#hardersson x reader#pernille harder x reader#pernille harder#magdalena eriksson x reader#magdalena eriksson#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso#the big adventures universe
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not you again. "scaramouche x male reader"
YOU were the smart kid in high school till he came along and ruined it. Now that he got you shipped away to your grandmother's, you're out for revenge. To beat him is your greatest wish but would that change now when he's your seatmate, partner. and roommate? Oh for fucâ
warnings: physical violence/fighting, the occasional underage drinking, heavily sexual themes and intercourse + some kinky shit (honestly, who knows), scaramouche is scaramouche đ¤Śââď¸, exes to academic rivals to lovers, vulgar language, angsty(mentions of SH, suicidal thought, OD/ED), slow updates, homophobia (sort of), i know nothing about law so don't come at me, slow burn, and i think that's it!
written pieces will marked with đ
pheonix wrights â miles edgeworths
á´Ľ season one â glow up, dick up
episode one â who the hell are you and why is your bitchass tryna fight me?
episode two â a man can't punch another man without it seeming homosexual nowadays, can he? đ
episode three â if im sent away, im taking my dignity with me / fuck you
episode four â yes grandma, i'll rub your bare feet. just don't call grandpa over to tell his war stories again... đ
episode five â i wonder how much he's suffering right now
episode six â in my slut era!! (i stay home with grams and gramps watching family fued)
episode seven â you'd think being the new kid is shit but it's actually worse since i'm hot
episode eight â who is juicytoot124 and why are they liking my tweets??
episode nine â fuck the school, fuck the students, and fuck the chairs too / who is he talking to
episode ten â this is NOT the USA miley cyrus was partying in đ
episode eleven â holy shit, he has a sister? or is that his girlfriend..? đ
episode twelve â kaeya, pass me the bottle; iâm getting wasted tonight
episode thirteen â holy shit. am i hallucinating or do i see a bobble-headed bitch coming my way? đ
episode fourteen â it might be the paranoia coming in but i hear cops đ
episode fifteen â how's my day? oh i was hiding in a fucking closet with my ex boyfriend from the police because of someone decided to steal alcohol. i wonder who.
episode sixteen â so i can't be a whore but my enemy can fuck around with his ex? not cool.
episode seventeen â wait, summer's over? i was just getting ready to rot in bed!
episode eighteen â basically what i'm hearing is that i'm a god and everyone loves me! /sarcastic
episode nineteen â yeah, so, what i just said previously was a fucking lie. đ
episode twenty â ah shit, here we go again. đ
á´Ľ season two â and they were roommates?
episode twenty one â my clear conscience can't take this anymore; time to escape prison!
episode twenty two â everything i say was a joke unless you're into it, then it's not đ
episode twenty three â first day of hell
episode twenty four â am i interfering someone's love triangle??
status: ongoing
started: 04/13/24
taglist: @m-march7th , @wawanluvr , @shutingstar , @pookiemax , @chemiru , @scaradooche , @swivy123 , @yangbbokari , @academiq , @thystarsshine , @zoropookie , @notrsz , @justyoureader , @mercy-not-merci , @kiekole , @kazumiku , @featuredtofu , @yourfavoritefreakyhan , @b2tr09 , @ell1e2010 , @pwaap , @vxcmx , @vamxpi , @moonslie04, @allaboutiknowthatyoubeingdead , @somnium-kiss , @crxwned-mxnarch , @khisuko , @jad3-n , @emptydinner-plate , @popcorn-milk , @liuaneee , @neversore, @alicerosejane
(@simonisferal 2024)
#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#wanderer#genshin#wanderer x male reader#the wanderer#scaramouche#scaramouche smau#scaramouche x male reader#scara x reader#genshin scara#wanderer x you#geshin impact#genshin x male reader#genshin impact x male reader#x male reader#wanderer smau#scaramouche x you#genshin impact imagines#wanderer genshin#genshin wanderer#genshin scaramouche#scaramouche genshin#slow burn#gay#simon.txt#đ; not you again!
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could you do maybe something where ellie and reader knew each other from the boston QZ, and then they end up seeing each other again years later?? could genuinely just be a paragraph or headcanons if thatâs what youâre feeling (writers block sucks) but youâre so good at describing things so i wanna see your POV with this đ
| a/n : ur an angel for being so understanding. this is short n lowkey vague but i genuinely had fun with this so thank you for suggesting it!! <3 | c/w : swearing. mentions of weapons but no violence
half return - ellie williams
your eyes looked the same as they did when you were thirteen.
or, it would've been fourteen, the last time you had actually seen each other. but that had been a weird year, hadn't it?
still. your eyes were the same.
wide. thoughtful, but maybe that wasn't a good enough word to describe the look in your eyes now. bewildered was probably it, mixed with disbelief.
after all of these years, ellie would have to assume that there would be a sense of hardness to you. maybe something firm in your gaze, evidence of your life, whatever that had turned out to be.
instead, there was a certain softness to your expression. beneath the disbelief, beneath the shock. something soft, something so inexplicably you.
it made ellie sure, without a doubt, it was you. it had to be, right?
you were looking at ellie like you couldn't figure it out, couldn't decide whether or not the sight in front of you was real, and.. yeah.
it was you.
"holy shit," ellie breathed out, her words nearly inaudible.
her words, simple and quiet, snapped you out of your daze.
ellie's tone was nearly the same, just a little more mature sounding. you were transported instantly, back to when you were practically kids. ellie's voice would rise in defensiveness, arguing against riley in favor of her music taste, denying the claim that it was shitty. the sound of her now, so familiar and so different, filled the pit of your stomach with a strange ache.
your grip on the gun had faltered a little at the sight of her. you tightened it now, only to rid your fingers of their tremble. you wanted to speak, to say anything, but you still weren't exactly processing the sight in front of you.
apparently, you were still horrible at keeping your facial expressions at bay.
ellie caught it, the moment in which you had nearly stepped forward, your lips almost moving. but you had seemingly decided against it. you both remained still, eye contact never wavering. you were a few feet apart, and it was the closest you had been in years.
the sky was gray and overcast. evidence either of the rainstorm that had previously hit, or the hint of another soon to come. if you didn't move soon, surely you would be caught in it. everything always seemed to happen so fast, but time stood still now. it had only been a matter of seconds, but those seconds were weighted, dragging on with each passing moment.
ellie found herself wanting to hear your voice. she had forgotten it, except for a few vivid memories that lived in her mind. she found herself desperately needing to find out if it was the same voice that echoed occasionally in her mind, or if it sounded different entirely.
ellie's eyebrows knitted together, the crease of tension becoming apparent upon her features. as her gaze darted over your face, ellie felt guilty for writing you off.
but boston had been a shithole. and besides, ellie had cared about you. why wouldn't you be dead? another memory planted in her mental graveyard, the lingering whispers that only ever seemed to reach the depths of her dreams on the worst nights. any traces of you were always gone by morning.
but now.
now.
had ellie finally gone crazy? sometimes, maybe, she heard joel's voice. acknowledging it felt... weird. but she did.
but this? had she lost it? lost herself entirely?
it didn't make sense for you to be here. here, of all places. now. after all of these years.
ellie shook her head slightly, attempting to get a grip on her thoughts. she held her gun firmly, but it wasn't exactly pointed at you anymore. her free hand slowly raised, her palm displayed in an unsteady defensive. it was nearly muscle memory, but ellie was uncertain.
you both felt as though you were staring at a ghost.
"ellie?" you finally spoke, her name tumbling from your lips so easily despite not having uttered it in years.
ellie's stomach lurched, her eyes widening imperceptibly as you took a tentative step forward. she felt sick. unable to make sense of it, her name wrapped up in your voice felt terrifying all of a sudden, a reminder of who she used to be, a sharp pain of the past gnawing at her like a pit in her stomach.
her gaze followed your movements, but ellie otherwise felt frozen. the expression on your face was plain as day, but ellie still struggled to read it. no longer a young teenager, but she remained a little clueless, hopeless even at the obvious. she couldn't help it, though, her mind racing and blaring like confusing alarm bells in her head.
ellie had brutally lost the person in which she arguably cared the most about, and now you were standing there, a goddamn blast from the past. ellie could not comprehend it. how did you even end up here?
another small step forward, and you couldn't decide between keeping your weapon raised or discarding it entirely. it was ellie, after all. but she was a stranger now.
to anyone else, the situation might look like a standoff. ellie was painfully aware of the seconds ticking by, knowing they most likely wouldn't be alone for much longer. the others would catch up, ready to defend, ready to fight.
ellie found the phrase bouncing around her head already, ready to roll off the tip of her tongue in a panic.
not a threat. not a threat, not a threat.
because you weren't. you couldn't be, right?
"i thought... i thought you were-"
you cut yourself off with a sharp inhale that nearly feels dizzying. you thought ellie had been dead. or whisked away, running off to join the fireflies after all, ending up... who knows where. because one day, ellie had been gone. and for a long time, you had driven your young mind crazy trying to consider the possibilities, to make sense of the why.
"you're... it's.. i didn't-" ellie attempts, her voice nearly failing her.
the hand holding your gun falls to your side, and ellie nearly doubles over. she doesn't, though, and feels as though her knees lock her into place instead.
ellie's hair was a bit shorter. she didn't wear it in a ponytail anymore, apparently. but half of her hair was still pulled back. the same stubborn strands of hair still seemed to fall into her face.
you had missed her. you never wanted her to be dead. but you could never come to terms with the fact that she had left you, either. the only best friend you had ever really had.
ellie's gun was down now, and she looked like she wanted to move forward, but didn't know how. you took the liberty instead, your steps slow and hesitant before turning more brisk.
"oh my god," you managed, your words slightly hushed and strained.
the sight of you moving towards her caused ellie's stomach to flip. maybe it was finally hitting her, the distance between you closing with each step. ellie watched, frozen, the fingers from her free hand twitching at her side.
you were wary, but a million other things, too.
you stopped once you were just a few steps away from her.
ellie nearly looked exactly the same. just older. more tired. new scars. but you could see her, through her microexpressions, in the way that her eyes remained carefully trained on your own. you realized suddenly, that you didn't have it in you to treat her like a stranger, even though she essentially was one. you didn't have it in you to keep on guard.
it was ellie. your ellie.
you knew her best of all.
and you had so much to learn about her.
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#tlou x reader#ellie tlou x reader#ellie williams fanfic
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decode â OP81 (au)
pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader
summary: when two summer camp counselors fall in love in the span of two months
warnings: none! just a long one đ
i got carried away oopsies, not proofread!!!
a/n: missing my summer camp hours đđ this is how i cope
masterlist !
â Ë ď˝Ą â ŕ¨ŕ§ Ë
y/n can't remember a summer when she wasn't at the summer camp in her home state. every summer since she was five years old, she was found at camp. when she was fourteen she signed up to be a junior counselor in training, then at sixteen became a counselor in training, and now at nineteen is an official camp counselor from one of the younger girl cabins.
y/n was ecstatic. she couldn't believe her eyes when she got the email that secured her summer job. except it wasn't going to feel like a job. she knew this wasn't going to feel like some chore like others would describe their job to be.
the whole bus ride up to the summer camp, y/n talked with her friends that went to camp with her in the previous years. her two closest friends were sat around her on the bus, sofia and nat. sofia met y/n during her second year of camp, and haven't stopped talking since. y/n and nat knew each other during camp during their last years as campers, but didn't start talking until their counselor in training years.
arriving at the camp felt so surreal for y/n. she was excited to see her second home, and her other friends that arrived yesterday by plane. she wondered if there were any unfamiliar faces this year, besides the new campers.
y/n, nat and sofia grabbed all their belongings and walked to their assigned cabins quickly. nat was going to be with the youngest of the girls, ages five and six. y/n was with the seven and eight year olds. sofia was on the other side of the girls' cabins, working with the twelve and thirteen year olds.
all of the counselors had "meetings" to attend before all the campers arrived tomorrow. no one really considered them as meetings however, knowing they were going to play ridiculous games in the large grassy field until sundown. the camp director thought it was a fun way to "get to know the other counselors".
as nat and sofia were getting a drink of water after a very intense game of dodgeball finished, a new counselor caught y/n's eye. there were three new counselors at camp, but this one was the only one that y/n really wanted to learn about. she looked at him from across the field. he seemed to be taller than her, with slightly pale skin and light brown hair.
"oh great, y/n's got another camp crush," nat appears by her, with sofia coming up on the other side.
"it's not a crush. i don't even know the guy!" y/n defends.
sofia and nat share a skeptical look, before sofia continues. "every year since you were seven you've found a guy to fawn over, and just because we're counselors now, we all know that's not stopping you."
nat chuckles at sofia's words, and y/n just rolls her eyes. she knew sofia was right, but she'd never admit that out loud.
after three more interesting games in the field, all of the counselors walked back up through the forest and towards the dining hall. there weren't any sort of seating arrangements, letting the counselors and other staff members sit wherever they'd like.
most of the counselors knew each other from being campers together, so they were all sat relatively close to one another.
luckily for y/n, the boy she was looking at earlier in the field was sat diagonally from her. she heard from sofia that she talked with him on the way back up from the field. he introduced himself to y/n and nat, and y/n instantly recognized his australian accent.
a handful of international counselors were found at camp every year, and y/n thought it always made it more interesting.
oscar, y/n, nat and sofia continued talking all throughout dinner. one of y/n's old friends from camp, lando, slid beside her halfway through dinner, and him and oscar got along pretty quickly.
at the end of the day, one of the many traditons at camp was for all the counselors to jump into the cold pool. don't ask y/n where this tradition exactly came from. she's been told so many times, yet she never remembers. however it came about, y/n was grateful. she's dreamt of doing this since she was a camper.
all of the counselors were lined up beside the pool, with the camp photographer, lauren, on the opposite side. the counselors were all still dressed, wearing their matching camp polos, and even kept their shoes on.
on the count of three they all jumped in, making the pool erupt in waves as twenty counselors splashed around. some got on each other's backs and were dunking one another, while other couldn't contain their laughter.
as y/n was wiping hair out of her eyes, oscar looked at her with a smirk adorning his lips.
she knew what he was about to do.
"no! oscar don't!" she tries to protest, but her laugh overpowers her words as oscar wraps his arms around the girl and pushes her under the water.
oscar watches y/n's smile widen once they're under water, and her hands are on his arms for a moment, only to push herself to the surface.
nat and sofia watched the interaction, as y/n now started splashing the aussie. "twenty bucks they're together by the end of the summer," nat wages.
"forty."
"thirty."
"thirty-five, final offer," sofia turns to nat.
"deal."
â
the morning the campers were arriving came quickly. so quickly y/n felt like she hasn't slept the night before. she was in the middle of making all the name tags for her campers bunk beds, so no one fights over who gets which one. she was cutting colored paper into simple flowers when sofia knocked on her cabin door.
"what's up sof?" y/n doesn't look up from her task.
"how'd you know it was me? it could've been nat," sofia sat on the twin bed, facing y/n.
"you walk heavy," y/n states, making sofia roll her eyes.
"whatever, unimportant," sofia quickly dismisses, "camp news is that a certain someone was talking about you after we jumped in the pool last night."
y/n groans, setting her paper and scissors down in her lap. "we've only been here twenty-four hours and there's already a rumor?"
"oh shush, you know you love it because lover boy was talking about you," sofia shoves y/n's leg playfully.
"first of all, don't call him lover boy. i only know his name. it's not like i'm deeply in love with him."
"you will be," sofia interrupts.
"second of all," y/n enunciates, "shouldn't you be getting ready for your campers to arrive?"
sofia laughs, "they're twleve year old, edgy, hormonal girls, they're not gonna want cute flowers and lady bugs saying who's sleeping where."
"you're no fun."
twenty-two minues pass and now all the counselors, the camp directior and co-director are all outside waiting for the buses to arrive. y/n was thrilled to meet her first set of campers.
the summer was broken up into three sessions, each session lasting two weeks. campers could choose to stay all three, but most only stayed for one.
y/n prayed her face wasn't flushed as she realized she was standing next to oscar. turns out, he was looking over campers the same age y/n was. the two made comfortable small talk until the buses finally pulled up into the dirt area.
once ever camper was off the bus and given their name tag, everyone made their way to the benches for announcements to start.
y/n's cabin was sat right in front of oscar's, with nat's right beside her. sofia's cabin was on the other handful of benches, considering they were the older campers.
announcements took an hour, as usual, and before everyone knew it, it was time for lunch.
the first lunch of the summer was always so special to y/n, even when she was a camper. this was when she met sofia, and years later she met nat in the mess hall as well.
lunch passed quickly, and y/n was back in her cabin, helping her campers fill out the forms to pick their camp schedules. she learned all of their names, and even learned about their favorite things. y/n's smile never left her face for the rest of the day.
â
three days into the first session and y/n was buzzing. she was in charge of the arts and crafts class campers could pick as one of their activites. she saw a few of her own campers in the morning, and surprisngly a few older boys during the afternoon.
she was in the middle of cleaning from the tye-dye the kids made today. she already hung up their shirts to dry, now she was cleaning off the tables where extra dye had gotten.
"do you need any help?" oscar stepped over the pile of rocks outside the arts and crafts shed, scaring y/n in the process.
"jesus osc, don't scare me like that," y/n laughs as her heartbeat comes back down.
oscar wasn't sure where the nickname came from, but he wanted it to stay.
"shouldn't you be watching over your swimming pool?" y/n asks, knowing oscar's sctivity this session was free swim. she didn't know what he was going to do the other two sessions, she meant to ask him later.
"nah, lando's got the last five minutes covered. all the campers got out anyway, complaining it was too cold." y/n knew lando from her last year as a camper. he was her first kiss, and call it cheesy but it was during the camp dance. neither of them speak ahout it to this day, and they planned to keep it that way.
oscar sat atop one of the cleaner parts of the table, chuckling as he notices y/n very colorful hands.
"why didn't you wear gloves?"
y/n shrugs, "gloves are too much of a hassle. plus after two showers i bet it'll come off."
"i could always dunk you in the pool again."
"no, no never again," y/n can't help but laugh.
y/n throws the dirty rags into a bucket, she makes a mental note to take it to the small camp laundromat later in the evening.
oscar hops down from the table, "do you want to walk with me to dinner?"
"you mean night time announcements?" y/n lets out a giggle at oscar's now pink cheeks.
"yeah uhâ that's what i meant."
"how much were you really paying attention during the announcements really meant for the campers?"
"you know i could easily push you right now right?" oscar detours the conversation.
"oh i know you wouldn't."
oscar's about to reply, but y/n's name gets called by a few of her campers walking up beside the duo. she bids oscar goodbye, as she walks with the three younger campers.
dinner goes smoothly as it has been for the past couple of days. oscar smiles to himself when he realizes he's sat next to y/n tonight, with one of her best friends sat across from him.
the counselers were given a different table seating every day. the campers places stayed the same, and they were sat by others their ages. each table had twelve campers, with two counselers at the head and foot of the table.
the first fifteen minutes of every meal is silent, another camp tradition where no one truly knew where it came from. but after those fifteen minutes were up, the mess hall was buzzing yet again.
the campers were starting to take plates and dishes towards the side of the mess hall where the kitchen staff was. oscar stood up from his table, grabbed the extra dessert no one wanted and walked towards y/n.
she was talking with one of the girls at the table, while oscar silently placed the ice cream down. y/n looked to her right and smiled seeing who it was.
the interaction didn't go unnoticed by sofia or nat. sofia was walking back to her table when she saw oscar getting up, and she was quick to point it out to nat.
"you looked like you could use another dessert," oscar sat down on the empty bench besides y/n.
"well i'm sadly already full, but i'm sure maisie here wouldn't mind," y/n boops the blonde girl next to her on the nose before sliding the bowl towards her. "just don't tell the other campers," y/n whispers, earning a giggle from the camper.
"are you excited for the camp dance next week?" y/n asks oscar. each session had their own dance and carnival.
oscar nods, "oh definitely, but i'm more excited about the carnival."
"do you know who booth you guys are in charge of?"
"no clue, but probably something easy since i'm dealing with seven year olds," oscar laughs.
the two continue talking for a moment, until the camp director instructs for all the campers and counselors go to the main building for a movie night.
â
y/n couldn't believe her own eyes. she was watching kids leaving with their parents, while others got on buses to go back home. she was sad when she had to say goodbye to her campers that morning. nat gave her a hug, but it was still hard for her.
nevertheless, she was just as excited to meet the new campers arriving next week. during the counselor's week off, they get a different trip in between each session. the first was a trip to a waterpark near the camp, and everyone was buzzing when they got out of the camp vans.
the day was filled with most counselors riding the water slides, while other tanned or gossiped. there was thirty minutes left of their day pass, y/n and oscar planned on going into the lazy river before they had to go back to the camp.
over the past two weeks the pair has gotten extremely close. they hung out whenever they could. they'd sit by each other at any given moment. a few of the older campers noticed the chemistry that was starting to build between the two.
y/n's right hand and oscar's left one kept grazing while in the lazy river. neither of them were going to do anything about that.
"you've been quiet today," oscar speaks up, looking over to the girl.
"just grateful," her response was simple, but oscar knew how she felt. it was hard for him to say goodbye to his campers earlier in the week, but just like the girl, he was excited about the new campers coming this sunday.
after a few moments of silence, y/n starts to laugh.
"oh god, i broke her," oscar jokes.
y/n keeps laughing, "no, no. i just can't believe you knew practically every move to the line dances from the camp dance."
oscar's face slightly flushed, "you're just jealous of my dancing skills."
"sure osc, that's what it is."
â
exactly two weeks later and the second session camp carnival was in full swing. it was always held on the tennis courts, and each cabin was in charge of a booth. some were definitely better than others, consider five year olds had little to no patience.
at the start of the carnival y/n and her whole cabin were sat around the face painting table, fast forward an hour and a half, now y/n was sat alone, watching all the festivies around her.
"you know you can enjoy the carnival too right?" oscar comes out of nowhere, making y/n jump slightly.
"can you stop scaring me like that?" she laughs, and scoots her chair over so he can sit in the empty one.
he hands her the cotton candy from his other hand, receiving a thank you from y/n.
"but really, why are you here by yourself when you should be out there," he pauses to point to all the campers and a few counselors dancing to an ariana grande song.
"what if someone wants their face painted and no one's here to help?" y/n picks at the light pink cotton candy.
"you and i both know every camper who wanted their face painted came here right away."
"yeah okay," y/n agrees, "but not everyone's gotten their face painted."
"who hasn't? there's maybe three campers without something on their cheek."
"you," y/n smirks. she hands her cotton candy to oscar before grabbing the tray of face paints.
oscar groans, "is this payback for dunking you in the pool?"
"yes, that's exactly it," she giggles.
oscar watched as y/n stood from her chair. she was contemplating what to do, but eventually ordered oscar to close his eyes. 'screw it' y/n internally spoke, as she dabbed the non-toxic red face paint onto her lips with a clean brush. she set down the mirror, happy with the amount and bent down to kiss oscar's cheek.
it took him by surprise, and he could feel his cheeks redden at the feeling of her fingers on his chin and lips on his cheek.
y/n begins wiping her mouth, ridding the left over red paint. oscar smiles, "well now it's only fair i give you something in return."
y/n shakes her head, still having a smile adorning her features, "i'm the one working the face paint table, not you osc."
oscar's about to argue, but lando, nat and sofia all come running to the table as the campers are starting to leave the tennis courts.
"hey are you guysâ"
lando cuts nat off with a chuckle, "nice face paint osc." that earns him a punch in the arm by sofia.
nat rolls her eyes before continuing, "you two ready for the counselor campout tonight?"
y/n's been talking about the campout since the start of summer, to anybody that'll listen.
the group of five went their seperate ways towards their cabins to pack a small bag for the night, and made sure to say goodnight to their campers, before a counselor in training came in the cabin for the night.
the counselors split up between two pick up trucks, with people riding inside and in the back. y/n and oscar's legs kept hitting each others after almost every bump, not that either of them minded.
the girls slept in one tent while the boys slept in the other. camp rules that both groups hated. it was starting to get dark when they arrived, so the boys started cooking pre-made hamburgers on a makeshift little grill over the fire, while the girls set up the tents.
during dinner everyone split up into their own groups. oscar, y/n, lando, nat and sofia put their chairs close to each other as they enjoyed the warmth of the fire and the sound of the crickets around them.
"is that a new hoodie y/n?" nat asks, curiosity filling her voice.
sofia joins in, "yeah, i don't think i've seen that."
y/n involuntarily blushes, "it's oscar's. he's letting me borrow it cause i got cold."
lando gives oscar a small high five while nat and sofia share a look. a look that the two have been sharing at least once a day.
â
four days later and y/n is upset once again. the second session campers are filtering out of the camp, and it feels five times worst than the first time y/n dealt with it. oscar walks up to the sad girl and places his hand lightly on her back.
"will pancakes and a hug cheer you up?" he smiles while handing her a plate with three pancakes covered in syrup.
y/n laughs and turns to face oscar, "both would definitely cheer me up."
y/n wraps her arms around the boy, and her body is flooded with warmth at the contact. she rests her head against his shoulder, her nose brushing ever so slightly against his neck. goosebumps rise on oscar's arms.
oscar leads the pair over to an empty bench so y/n can enjoy her pancakes to get her mind off the campers leaving.
"jeez osc, did you put enough syrup on these?" she laughs.
oscar throws his hands up in defence, "i didn't know how much you like."
a moment of silence passes between the duo, before y/n breaks it.
"are you gonna want your hoodie back? because it's extremly comfortable and it might make it's way into my suitcase by the end of the summer."
oscar smiles, "keep it. maybe it'll give me a reason to visit you after summer."
y/n reciprocates a smile, but a sad feeling makes it's way through her body again. she doesn't know what her and oscar are going to do after summer. neither of them have brought it up. the thought of having to leave oscar and never see him again terrified the girl.
â
the camp was well into session three, and y/n was more than excited for today. it was her twentieth birthday, the session three camp dance was tonight, and it was her favorite theme every summer.
y/n was helping her campers get ready, thanking herself for getting ready beforehand. she thought they all looked adorable in their different 70s inspired outfits. they ranged from bell bottom leggings, flashy colorful skirts, and fringed vests.
y/n and her cabin was walking towards the tennis courts, as well as the other cabins. just as they turned the corner, oscar was standing off to the side of the gate. y/n saw, and smiled as he beckoned her over.
she told her campers to go with nat's cabin, before running towards oscar, being careful not to fall in her chunky platform boots.
oscar takes in her appearance with a smile on his face. from her white platform boots, to her pink colorful dress with the flared longsleeves, and finishing with her white headband.
"you look adorable," he spoke, his words coming out faster than his brain could think.
y/n couldn't help but blush, "thank you osc. you don't look too bad yourself."
now y/n looks over oscar's outfit. she giggles as it's such a similar outfit to what pierce brosnan wore on the cover of the mamma mia poster. fitting perfectly to tonight's 70s disco theme.
"did you find my birthday present for you?"
y/n nods, remembering the small wrapped box placed at the bottom step of her cabin.
"i haven't opened it yet, just like the card said."
"good, and don't forget to meet me back here after all your campers are asleep yeah?"
y/n nods again, "what could you be planning piastri?"
oscar shrugs playfully, "guess you'll have to wait and see."
before the australian leaves, he kisses y/n's forehead. it happened so quickly y/n could barely comprehend it before he was already gone.
after almost two hours of dancing, picking at snacks and talking, y/n was finally feeling her feet starting to hurt. maybe the platform boots were a bit much, but she still thought they were adorable. she groaned as she sat down for the first time that night.
"hey, you alright?"
she picks up her head, seeing oscar standing in front of her with two cups of water. he hands one to her before sitting in the empty chair beside her.
"i don't think my feet have ever hurt this badly before," she laughs while unzipping her boots. she could care less about how dirty the ground was right now, she needed her feet to breathe.
"so glad i didn't wear the platform boots i packed," oscar joked, and his smile grew once y/n started laughing. he never got tired of hearing her laugh.
"have you had a good birthday so far?"
y/n lets out a content sigh while leaning her head on oscar's shoulder. "i have osc, it's been really fun. and i can't wait to see what you have planned for later."
â
just as oscar instructed on his birthday note to y/n that was attached to her birthday present, she's currently waiting in the tennis courts. her counselor in training was looking after her cabin, but all y/n could think about is what on earth oscar could be planning.
her fingers fidget with the blue bow on top of the box, and she's thankful she changed out of her boots and into her converse. she threw on oscar's hoodie she still hasn't given back, because it always gets chillier at night.
her thoughts were interrupted however, when the lights to the tennis court turned off. all she heard around her was whispered voices and shuffling feet.
"guys?" she laughs, more than confused on what they could be doing.
the lights suddenly turn back on, and y/n can't help but laugh at the four in front of her.
"happy birthday y/n!" her friends yell.
sofia's holding a small pile of presents, one from each of them (minus oscar's gift in her hand).
nat and lando are busy holding up a small banner, wishing y/n a happy birthday.
finally oscar was holding a pink box, which y/n could only guess was a birthday cake.
"guys!" y/n gushes, her heart feeling extra full at the moment.
everyone sets down whatever was in their hands to hug the birthday girl. oscar's hug was a bit longer than the others, and y/n definitely noticed.
"you guys didn't have to do anything for my birthday. it being on the day of my favorite camp activity was plenty."
nat shushes her, "nope, we all agreed we were doing something for your birthday as soon as the session started."
lando pipes up besides nat with a green and black wrapped gift in his hands, "enough with the sappy shit, open my gift first y/n."
y/n sits down before opening the gifts. nat and sofia sit to her left, while lando stands in front and oscar stands behind her to her right.
she opened everyone's gift, thanking each of them afterwards, and finally got to oscar's gift. the one she's been waiting for all day. she tears the blue ribbon off and takes the lid off.
however, y/n's confused once she sees two plane tickets. one to new york from maine, and one back to maine from new york.
"osc what is this?"
oscar squats down and holds himself up by placing his hand on y/n's thigh.
his voice was soft as he explained, "my mom helped me with this one. i called her before this session started, and i got her to buy the tickets for me. she was able to get then shipped before your birthday. so now you can come out to new york for two weeks with me."
y/n keeps looking at the plane tickets in her hands. her eyes were filling with tears while oscar spoke. no one's ever done anything like this before.
lando, nat and sofia left quietly, giving the pair a minute alone.
"love?" oscar lets the nickname slip before he has time to catch himself.
"no one's ever done something like this for me before," y/n's quiet, not wanting her voice to give out.
"hey," oscar wipes a tear that was falling on her cheek, "you deserve this. we get to spend two great weeks together, and you'll even get to see my cool apartment."
y/n laughs at his attempt to cheer her up, and is glad it's working.
y/n pulls oscar into one of the tightest hugs imaginable. he stumbles slightly, but holds onto the girl just as tight.
"thank you osc," she whispers into his neck, before placing a light kiss to the exposed skin.
y/n starts pulling away from the hug, but oscar just holds onto her tighter. he silently moves his left hand to cup her jaw, with his thumb catching another loose tear.
from outside of the tennis court, the eavesdropping trio all gasp as the two finally kiss. after weeks of endless flirting and longing glaces, they're finally kissing.
y/n holds onto oscar even tighter now. partially for stability, and partially to make sure he's really there. that this was really happening.
the two barely pull apart, their lips only having centimeters between them.
just as the two go to kiss again, sofia pops out from the darkness and into the light of the tennis court. "six feet of space!"
nat's quick to cover her mouth after she mentions leaving room for god, and nat and lando are quick to apologize, letting oscar and y/n be alone again.
â
"there you are!"
oscar's pulled from his thoughts as y/n makes her way over towards him.
he's sat on the bench outside the unoccupied cabin near the volleyball court. he went there a lot this summer, always giving him the space to think.
"i've been looking everywhere for you," y/n smiles while sitting beside him.
oscar can't help but smile when she does. he's told her a thousand times how contagious her smile is.
"are you excited?"
y/n didn't need oscar to elaborate, she knew exactly what he meant. today was the last day of summer camp. all of the campers left yesterday, and today was the day y/n and oscar were flying to new york together.
"i don't even think excited is in the ballpark to describe how i'm feeling," y/n laughs, leaning into oscar.
after a moment of silence, y/n's curiosity gets the best of her. "osc?" he hums in response, "what are we?"
oscar smiles to himself, "well i was hoping i'd get to call you my girlfriend."
y/n's smile grows immensely. "only if i get to call you my boyfriend," she giggles.
oscar kisses her softly on the lips, before interlocking his fingers with hers.
"oh!" y/n pipes up, "yesterday one of my girls made us matching bracelets."
y/n takes two bracelets out of her (oscar's) hoodie pocket. they were both pink, with different shades of pink beads threaded through the string. one said "O ⥠(your initial)" and vice verse with the other bracelet. oscar chuckles as he takes the one starting with his own initial.
"i love it," he looks down at it once more, "i'm never taking this off by the way."
before y/n reciprocate, the camp director comes around, telling them this is their last call to leave the camp and say goodbye to who ever you need to.
nat and sofia both left by bus earlier in the day, leaving oscar to deal with an unhappy y/n for an hour until he gave her another one of his hoodies.
"are you ready to go?" y/n stands while holding her hands out.
oscar gladly takes her hands in his, "yep. just one more kiss in the place where i fell in love with you."
#shelbi writes#keerysfreckles#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri x fem reader#oscar piastri x fem!reader#oscar piastri x female reader#oscar piastri x female!reader#oscar piastri f1#oscar piastri au#formula 1#f1#f1 fic#f1 au#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#oscar piastri imagine
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Examining SVSSS Canon: 2/â
THE PRE-CANON TIMELINE
This post will attempt to provide an answer to several questions, including the ages of some of the current peak lords, as well as a rough timeline of events in the extras relative to the current day. A simple, bullet-point timeline will be at the end of this post, with relevant quotes and analysis above.
The timeline of SVSSS isn't particularly easy to piece together, and many fans are unsure of things such as the ages of certain characters, or how long the current generation of peak lords has been in power. As a matter of fact, it seems like even Airplane himself doesn't have a set timeline in mind for the events of PIDW pre-LBH:
âYour ages?â To tell the truth, Shen Qingqiu didnât really know the precise age of this body. He raised his head at Shang Qinghua. âWouldnât you know better than I do?â Shang Qinghua twirled the brush in his hand. Heâd never thought about this question either, so he figured he might as well just say whatever. Therefore he randomly wrote a number down in a couple of strokes. (7 Seas, Ch. 31)
It would be easy enough to take this quote and call the timeline a mystery-- however, there are a surprising amount of clues in the text, enough to at least put together a decent idea of when things happened and how old certain characters are, depending on which theories and interpretations one ascribes to.
There are two particular facts which are our most important hints as to the pre-LBH timeline, upon which this entire analysis hinges.
First, we have the spacing of the Immortal Alliance Conferences:
After much difficulty, Luo Binghe managed to turn seventeen, at which point he finally participated in the event the cultivation world held once every four years: the Immortal Alliance Conference. (7 Seas, Ch. 1)
And next, we have the length of time since Shen Qingqiu began to cultivate:
Before, Shen Qingqiu had thought that this bodyâs qualifications were already incredible, to have formed a core in only ten or so years when heâd begun cultivation so late. (7 Seas, Ch. 19)
Notably here, what is translated as "ten or so years" is ĺĺ ĺš´ďź which is more accurately "ten and a few years." This means that at the time Shen Qingqiu formed a golden core, he had been at Cang Qiong Mountain for around 10-15 years, but likely no longer or shorter than that.
This tells us quite a bit already-- because we know that Shen Qingqiu only reached core formation after becoming peak lord, as well as after Luo Binghe had already become a disciple:
Luo Binghe was using the incorrect cultivation manual that Shen Qingqiu had handed him; he should have long since died bleeding from the seven apertures, his body rupturing down to his bones, skin, meridians, tendons, and flesh... Shen Qingqiu was filled with paranoia; he forever felt like everyone was secretly talking behind his back, discussing how heâd been unable to attain Core Formation even after this long. (7 Seas, Ch. 24)
So this tells us that it could not have been any longer than around 15 years between Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe joining Cang Qiong Mountain, and was likely at least a few years less than that because it has already been awhile since Luo Binghe was given the fake manual, which likely occured shortly after he arrived, and Shen Qingqiu reaches core formation at some point after this scene.
This means that the Qing generation's ascenscion likely occured no more than ten years after Shen Qingqiu joined the sect-- putting the ages for Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan respectively at roughly twenty-six and twenty-nine when they became peak lords.
The timeline can be clarified further and expanded, however, due to the spacing of the IAC. We know that the IAC occured when Luo Binghe was seventeen, and that it occurs every four years-- meaning that there would have been IAC taking place also when he was thirteen, nine, five, one, and three years before he was born.
However, we also know that it had not actually been fourteen years since Luo Binghe's birth at the start of SVSSS.
In the translation, Luo Binghe says the following when Shen Qingqiu asks his age:
âThis disciple is fourteen,â Luo Binghe obediently replied. (7 Seas, Ch. 1)
However, the original says:
ć´ĺ°ć˛łäšĺˇ§ĺ°éďźâĺźĺčĺ˛ĺĺăâ
"čĺ˛" here would be better translated as "nominal age." In ancient times, a child was one year old on the day of their birth, and aged up by one year with each new year-- so if a child was born the day before the new year, then at two days old he would already be counted as two years old. Sometimes, this would be counted on the spring festival new year, but other times it would be counted on the winter solstice.
As for Luo Binghe's precise chronological age, that is up for some determination. We know roughly the time of year he was born:
Immediately after birth, Luo Binghe was abandoned by his parents, swaddled in white cloth, and put in a wooden basin that was lowered into the Luo River. This occurred on the coldest days of the year... (7 Seas, Ch. 1)
The "coldest days of the year" here is ć°äšĺŻĺ¤Š, which refers to the nine periods of nine days each following the winter solstice. The winter solstice typically occurs on December 20-21, meaning that Luo Binghe's birth date is somewhere between December 20-March 12. If nominal age is being counted by winter solstice in this world, then that makes him chronologically thirteen at the start of SVSSS, but if it is calculated by the spring festival, then he is chronologically either twelve or thirteen at the start of SVSSS, as the Chinese new year can fall anywhere between January 21 - February 21, meaning that LBH could have been born either before or after this time.
So, let's just say that LBH's chronological age, for the purposes here, is thirteen, and then adjust our IAC timeline as followsďź
There was one when he was chronologically sixteen, twelve, eight, four, the year he was born, and four years before he was born.
Now, how does this help us determine a timeline?
Well, we have the following statement:
Yue Qingyuanâs knuckles slowly brushed along Xuan Suâs hilt. âI was able to meet Senior Su Xiyan once at an Immortal Alliance Conference, many years ago." (7 Seas, Ch. 18)
Because we know that Su Xiyan died when Luo Binghe was born, we know that this meeting could not have occured at any conferences after his birth. It also would be unlikely that they met the same year Luo Binghe was born, as Su Xiyan would likely already be dead at that point if LBH was born after the new year. So, the latest that Yue Qingyuan could have met Su Xiyan would be twenty years before Luo Binghe was thrown into the Abyss.
We now combine this with the earlier discussion of the ages of Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan, and here I will note the following:
Yue Qingyuan slowly said, âAt age fifteen, I entered Qiong Ding Peak." (7 Seas, Ch. 21)
This puts Yue Qingyuan roughly three years older than Shen Jiu:
âWhen [Shen Jiu] was twelve years old, he was but a slave my family had purchased from traveling child traffickers. " (7 Seas, Ch. 6)
Shen Jiu joined Cang Qiong Mountain at sixteen:
Liu Qingge didnât even grace him with a sideways glance. âBut certainly more success than a nobody who only began proper cultivation at age sixteen.â (7 Seas, Ch. 19)
This happened most likely directly after reuniting with Yue Qingyuan at an Immortal Alliance Conference. This puts Yue Qingyuan's age at nineteen during that conference, at which point he is head disciple, and has already gained some fame. However, this reunion has to occur before Luo Binghe's birth, Su Xiyan's death, and Tianlang-jun's defeat. This is because at this point, Yue Qingyuan has only been in Cang Qiong Mountain for four years-- thus, this particular conference is almost certainly the first one he has taken part in, and likely the first one he has attended at all, since a brand-new disciple in early stages of training most likely wouldn't have gone, therefore if Tianlang-jun had already been sealed by this point, Yue Qingyuan would not have had the chance to meet Su Xiyan.
So, the latest Shen Qingqiu could have joined Cang Qiong Mountain, at age 16, is twenty years before the Abyss, which would put him at age thirty-six at the youngest at that time.
Now, what about additional conference cycles?
It's possible that the conference in which Yue Qingyuan met Su Xiyan and/or after which Shen Qingqiu joined CQM may have been the one before this-- but that would also add four additional years to the time SQQ had been cultivating.
The earliest that Luo Binghe could have joined CQM would be when he was a little over ten years old, as that is when his mother dies:
On the bed lay a haggard old woman. With great effort, she tried to prop herself up, but from beginning to end, she was unable to do so. A small figure rushed in from outside. A tender-faced Luo Binghe, only a little over ten years old, supported the woman. Around his neck hung that jade pendant. (7 Seas, Ch. 3)
Shen Qingqiu had not reached core formation when Luo Binghe joined the sect. This means that if the IAC where SQQ joined the sect was four years before Luo Binghe's birth, then by the time Luo Binghe joins the sect it has been about fourteen to fifteen years since SQQ began cultivating.
Adding an additional four years would bump that to eighteen to nineteen years, which exceeds the "ten and some" years that SQQ took to reach core formation.
In my opinion, this also tells me that LBH joined CQM when he was absolutely no older than ten or eleven, and likely went to join immediately after his mother's death, because pushing LBH's join date later would also stretch the timeline of SQQ's cultivation. Now, this part does not specify whether the ten years old is nominal age or chronological age-- but because LBH's age of seventeen at the conference is referenced to his nominal age of fourteen, with a distance between of three years, then I am considering all age-numbers to be nominal age rather than chronological. This only really matters in regards to Luo Binghe for this analysis, though, as his birth year is the only one which has bearing on the timeline in regards to Su Xiyan's status.
With all of this information, we can determine with good confidence that the conference in which Yue Qingyuan met Su Xiyan was the same conference during which he reunited with Shen Qingqiu, which occured four years before Luo Binghe was born and twenty years before the Endless Abyss.
So because of this, we actually do have a relatively precise timeline of characters' ages, as well as events in the cultivation world.
This short timeline is also supported by the fact that Ming Fan is the most senior of Shen Qingqiu's disciples, and he is only sixteen, about 2-3 years older than Luo Binghe:
A youth around sixteen years old, tall and thin, promptly ran in through the door. âThis disciple is here. What instructions does Shifu have?â (7 Seas, Ch. 1)
Had the Qing generation ascended too many years prior to Luo Binghe's joining the sect, it would be strange that the most senior disciple of Shen Qingqiu's was only sixteen, as in xianxia a disciple typically will not "graduate" at a certain age or cultivation stage, meaning that older disciples will maintain their role well into adulthood.
As for the rest of the peak lords, we have little to no information regarding the ages of Wei Qingwei, Qi Qingqi, or Mu Qingfang. However, we do know that Liu Qingge is quite young, and joined the sect both at an optimal age and a significant length of time before Shen Qingqiu:
At this point, Liu Qinggeâs formal ascension to Bai Zhan Peak Lord, too, had likely only happened a couple years ago. There was a visible air of immaturity about his features, his gaze fierce and sharp, and within his every action was a young manâs spirited vigor. (7 Seas, Ch. 19)
and
Therefore, even though heâd entered the sect quite some time after Liu Qingge, because Qing Jing Peak was ranked secondâonly below Qiong Ding Peakâwhile Bai Zhan Peak was ranked seventh, Liu Qingge still had to address Shen Qingqiu as âShixiong,â if through gritted teeth. (7 Seas, Ch. 24)
So, Liu Qingge is likely a year or two younger than Shen Qingqiu, but not by too much, since they still behave very much like contemporaries as teenagers-- let's say that Liu Qingge is likely around 14-15 when Shen Qingqiu joins the sect at age 16.
The other peak lord we know a bit about the age of is Shang Qinghua:
The older-than-average outer disciple Shang Qinghua, who currently occupied a seventeen-year-old body, looked around in all directions as he trailed behind the main team, who were unloading goods from the ship onto the docks. (7 Seas, Ch. 26)
He is seventeen here, and an outer disciple of An Ding Peak. We can place this a bit more definitively on the timeline by the fact that Shen Qingqiu is already a head disciple at this point in time:
âWhat I donât know is how Shen Qingqiu got chosen as head disciple after starting cultivation so late,â said another outer disciple whoâd joined Cang Qiong Mountain at an older age, his expression sour. (7 Seas, Ch. 26)
Unfortunately, we cannot place the exact point in time where Shen Qingqiu became head disciple-- one possibility is that it couldn't have happened until after Tianlang-jun's defeat, which occured about four years after he joined the sect, since he did not participate in the battle. But that is a weak argument, since none of the current generation besides Yue Qingyuan participated in that battle:
Of the current peak lords, only Yue Qingyuan had participated in that battle, as the head disciple of Qiong Ding Peak. (7 Seas, Ch. 17)
If using this argument, then that would mean that aside from Yue Qingyuan, none of the other peak lords had been chosen as head disciples at that time-- while that is a possibility, I think that a more feasible explanation would be that Yue Qingyuan was an exception, and participated in the battle specifically because of his wielding Xuan Su.
One thing we can extrapolate, however, is that Shang Qinghua was most likely an inner disciple for at least three years before the Qing generation's ascension. This is because of the following:
One day, Shang Qinghuaâs concise Great System delivered a new command: Become the An Ding Peak head disciple within three years. (7 Seas, Ch. 26)
Now, it is somewhat loose evidence, as there is nothing to say that "three years" means for certain that the ascension would occur three years from that point, but it does mean that it occured no earlier than that. By now, Shang Qinghua has already been an inner disciple for some time, long enough to have been assisted by Mobei-jun a few times and to have gone on several missions-- most likely around a few months to a year or so at minimum.
Of course, how long has passed between Shen Qingqiu joining the sect and this point? Well, since Shen Qingqiu is still described as a youth:
Shang Qinghua suddenly heard the tinkling of sword tassel pendants, and a youth wearing Qing Jing Peakâs uniform slowly approached him. (7 Seas, Ch. 26)
Because of this description, I would say that Shen Qingqiu is most likely between seventeen and his early twenties, since it isn't particularly likely that he would become head disciple in less than a year after joining the sect. Of course, within this age range, there is one important event that occurs-- the battle of Bai Lu mountain, which would have occured when Shen Qingqiu was twenty and Yue Qingyuan was twenty-three.
Now, this gets into more of a speculation than anything else-- just before this point, Mobei-jun attacked Huan Hua Palace and the An Ding Peak disciples. If the battle of Bai Lu Mountain had already occured, it would have happened no more than a few years earlier. We also know that there is a tentative truce between the demon realm and the cultivation world:
This suggestion was solid. For many years, the Human and Demon Realms had maintained an uneasy balance and had yet to drop the pretense of peace. Eliminating Sha Hualing and her mob wouldnât be impossible, but it would likely light a fuse. The demons definitely wouldnât let her death go unanswered, and it wouldnât be worth it if they stirred up an even greater conflict. (7 Seas, Ch. 3)
I suspect that this pretense of peace was likely set in place after the battle of Bai Lu Mountain, when the demon realm had just lost their ruler.
Since just a short time had happened since the demons' defeat and a likely truce between the realms, I find it unlikely that Mobei-jun, a prominent member of demonic nobility, at this time would be actively antagonizing the cultivation world by attacking Huan Hua Palace and Cang Qiong Mountain. Now, of course, there is a potential alternate storyline that this is exactly what happened, and Mobei-jun went rogue as an act of lashing out, and that interpretation would be perfectly valid on its own.
Personally, though, I believe that Shang Qinghua's meeting with Mobei-jun occured before the battle of Bai Lu Mountain, while the cultivation world and demon world were in the tense state on the edge of war. This means that Shang Qinghua most likely became an inner disciple when Shen Qingqiu was around 17-19 years old.
With this information, we can determine some relative ages:
Yue Qingyuan is three years older than Shen Qingqiu, who is a little older than Liu Qingge. Because Shang Qinghua was seventeen when Shen Qingqiu was already head disciple, it is most likely that he is around Liu Qingge's age, give or take a few years, as it is not particularly likely (though potentially possible) for Shen Qingqiu to have gone from new disciple to head disciple in the space of a single year.
Aside from these four, there are no other ages that can be determined for the peak lords.
With all of this information, a fairly decent timeline can be created. Characters' ages will be listed with each notable year.
ă THE TIMELINE ă
*counted up to the start of SVSSS. If using this timeline, keep in mind that the earliest and latest notes for date ranges can overlap-- do not accidentally have a disciple join the sect before the current peak lords ascend, or have SQH become head disciple after ascension! Dates with ranges are colored green (earliest) and red (latest).
Earlier than -21 YR
LQG: <;10-11
(earliest) Liu Qingge joins Cang Qiong Mountain
-21 YR
LQG: 10-11, SQQ: 12, YQY: 15, QHT: <16, QJL: 16
Shen Jiu sold to Qiu Jianluo
Yue Qi joins Cang Qiong Mountain
--IAC--
-19 YR
LQG: 12-13, SQQ: 14, YQY: 17
(earliest*) Yue Qingyuan enters the Lingxi Caves with Xuan Su
-18 YR
LQG: 13-14, SQQ: 15, YQY: 18, QHT: <19, QJL: 19
(latest*) Yue Qingyuan enters the Lingxi Caves with Xuan Su
Shen Jiu kills Qiu Jianluo and burns down Qiu Manor
Shen Jiu becomes Wu Yanzi's disciple
(earliest*) Yue Qi leaves the Lingxi Caves
(earliest*) Yue Qi becomes head disciple
(latest) Liu Qingge joins Cang Qiong Mountain
-17 YR
LQG: 14-15, SQQ: 16, YQY: 19
(latest*) Yue Qi leaves the Lingxi Caves
(latest*) Yue Qi becomes head disciple
--IAC--
Yue Qingyuan meets Su Xiyan
Shen Jiu kills Wu Yanzi and joins Cang Qiong Mountain
-16 YR
LQG: 15-16, SQH: 15-17, SQQ: 17, YQY: 20
(earliest) Shen Qingqiu becomes Head Disciple
(earliest) Shang Qinghua meets Mobei-jun and becomes inner disciple at age 17
(earliest) Shang Qinghua receives the directive to become head disciple within three years
(earliest) Shang Qinghua becomes head disciple
-14 YR
MF: 2, LQG: 17-18, SQH: 17-19, SQQ: 19, YQY: 22
(latest) Shen Qingqiu becomes Head Disciple
(latest) Shang Qinghua meets Mobei-jun and becomes inner disciple at age 17
(earliest**) Su Xiyan imprisoned and subjected to torture in Water Prison
(earliest**) Battle of Bai Lu Mountain
(earliest**) Tianlang-jun Sealed
-13 YR
NYY: <1, LBH: 1, MF: 3, LQG: 18-19, SQH: 18-20, SQQ: 20, YQY: 23
(latest**) Su Xiyan imprisoned and subjected to torture in Water Prison
(latest**) Battle of Bai Lu Mountain
(latest**) Tianlang-jun Sealed
Luo Binghe is Born
Su Xiyan Dies
(earliest) Qing Generation ascend to become Peak Lords
--IAC--
-11 YR
NYY: 2-3, LBH: 3, MF: 5, LQG: 20-21, SQH: 20-22, SQQ: 22, YQY: 25
(earliest***) Ming Fan joins Qing Jing Peak under Shen Qingqiu
-9 YR
NYY: 4-5, LBH: 5, MF: 7, LQG: 22-23, SQH: 22-24, SQQ: 24, YQY: 27
--IAC--
-8 YR
NYY: 5-6, LBH: 6, MF: 8, LQG: 23-24, SQH: 23-25, SQQ: 25, YQY: 28
(latest) Shang Qinghua receives the directive to become head disciple within three years
(earliest***) Ning Yingying joins Qing Jing Peak under Shen Qingqiu
-5 YR
NYY: 8-9, LBH: 9, MF: 11, LQG: 27-28, SQH: 27-29, SQQ: 29, YQY: 32
--IAC--
(latest) Shang Qinghua becomes head disciple
(latest) Qing Generation ascend to become Peak Lords
(latest) Ming Fan joins Qing Jing Peak under Shen Qingqiu
-4 YR
NYY: 9-10, LBH: 10, MF: 12, LQG: 28-29, SQH: 28-30, SQQ: 30, YQY: 33
Luo Binghe's adoptive mother dies
(earliest) Luo Binghe joins Qing Jing Peak
(earliest) Shen Qingqiu reaches Core Formation
-3 YR
NYY: 10-11, LBH: 11, MF: 13, LQG: 29-30, SQH: 29-31, SQQ: 31, YQY: 34
(latest****) Ning Yingying joins Qing Jing Peak under Shen Qingqiu
(latest) Luo Binghe joins Qing Jing Peak
-2 YR
NYY: 11-12, LBH: 12, MF: 14, LQG: 30-31, SQH: 30-32, SQQ: 32, YQY: 35
(latest*****) Shen Qingqiu reaches Core Formation
-1 YR
NYY: 12-13, LBH: 13, MF: 15
--IAC--
Year 0
NYY: 13-14, LBH: 14, MF: 16
SVSSS Begins
-----
This timeline operates under the following conditions. For some of these conditions, alternatives are discussed in the post above-- if you wish to use any of the alternative calculations, then you're more than welcome to adjust the timeline as applicable for your own use!
"Years" are counted from the first day of the spring festival/Chinese new year, rather than January 1
All character ages are nominal ages, so they were born in the year they are counted as age "1"
Luo Binghe was born after the new year, and so his nominal age is only about one year higher than chronological.
Shang Qinghua met Mobei-jun before the battle of Bai Lu Mountain
The system's time limit for SQH does reference the time of the Qing generation's ascension
The Immortal Alliance Conference takes place roughly in the middle of the year. Based on the fact that it is warm enough for the disciples to dip their feet into a stream and find that pleasant, it would make sense for the IAC to occur in a warmer season (Ch. 4)
Further References and Footnotes:
*Yue Qi was in the Lingxi Caves for more than one year and Qiu Manor had already been destroyed by the time he got out (Ch. 21)
**The birth of Luo Binghe occured a few days after the battle of Bai Lu Mountain. Depending on when LBH was born, it could be at the end of year -13 or the first few days of year -12 (Ch. 21)
***We do not know the earliest a child can join Cang Qiong Mountain, even though the appropriate age for cultivation most likely cuts off somewhere around 15 (due to YQY joining at that age and no comments about him being "too old"). For the purposes of this timeline, I am setting the absolute youngest to age 5, but more realistically a disciple wouldn't join until age 8-10 at the earliest.
****It is unknown whether the only time that disciples can join Cang Qiong Mountain is during the recruitment trials. Therefore, there remains a possibility for Ning Yingying to have joined the sect in the same year as Luo Binghe, but at some point before the recruitment trials due to connections. This can potentially be supported by Shen Jiu joining after the IAC, but at the same time, it is not confirmed that SJ joined CQM immediately, or if he had to wait until the next recruitment trial, so there is no clear canon precedent-- nonetheless, it is still possible. Note that Ning Yingying can only join at this late point if Luo Binghe joins at age 11, and after her. The only hard requirement is that NYY joined at some point before LBH.
*****I have placed this as the absolute latest time SQQ could have formed a golden core because this puts him at having been cultivating for sixteen years. It is a bit of a stretch already , but I don't think that "ten and a few" years could really be any longer than this. It is also worth noting that by the time SQQ reaches core formation, every other peak lord has already done so, with Yue Qingyuan first, Liu Qingge and Qi Qingqi next, and Shang Qinghua most likely last (Ch. 24)
--
Please let me know if you notice any errors in calculation, formatting, or missing details! This was quite substantial so there's a good chance I may have missed something.
Some of the points in this analysis and timeline calculations were brainstormed with the help of @zykamiliah , @cum-villain , @furbygoblinxiv . Many thanks!
#svsss#canon examined#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#yue qingyuan#liu qingge#shang qinghua#svsss timeline#resource
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i'll put us back together at heart - s.h.
Summary: It's 1987. You haven't spoken to Steve Harrington in nearly five years. Then Dustin Henderson tells you about a sweet deal he has at Family Video, where he can rent any movie he wants.
Pairing: ex-best friend!Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Word count: 8.8k
Warnings/tags: friends to strangers to lovers. the reader is twenty in 1987 and i technically made steve twenty-one/about to turn twenty-one. s4 happened but eddie's alive and vecna's dead. no earthquakes or anything like that; reader has no idea about what really happened. lots of angst, mentions of billy hargrove (yuck) and steve's s1 asshole friends.
A/N: oh my lord. i don't know where this eighteen-wheeler of a fic came from but here it is. there is a happy ending, not to worry. i'd never do that to y'all <3 feedback and reblogs are always always appreciated!
divider by firefly-graphics
August 1981
"I wish we could stay eighth graders forever."
You lift your head from your orange pool floaty. Steve drifts on the surface of the water. His hair is longer, way longer than you've seen it in the three years you've been friends. He says it's better for styling that way; he's even bought a gel and cream for his hair. You don't understand why he wants to change something that doesn't need changing.Â
"Why?" you ask. "I thought you were excited for high school."
He hums. The sound echoes in his backyard.Â
"It's bigger than middle school. More kids, more teachers, more work. I like eighth grade."
"I'll help you with your work," you say.Â
Steve turns his head and smiles at you. Part of his face is in the water, the image distorted.Â
"You'll do great," he replies. "You're so smart."
Steve doesn't say those things to get you to help him like other kids do. Steve means it.Â
"You'll do great too," you say. "You're funny and nice and my best friend. People will like you."
"You think?"Â
You nod. Steve turns his head and closes his eyes again.Â
"We'll stay friends, right?" he asks.Â
The floaty squeaks as you move to sit up. You paddle to Steve so you can look at his face.Â
"Why wouldn't we?"
"I dunno." His eyes are still closed. "You might make super smart friends. And I'll just be a dumbass holding you back."
You shove Steve's shoulder lightly.Â
"You are not dumb, Steve."
One muggy June night had had Steve admit he wasn't thirteen, like you and all the kids in your class, but fourteen. He had been held back in third grade after his parents moved from Illinois. It's why my brain's mush, he'd said. I was born dumb.
He had made you swear not to tell anyone.Â
"You're not dumb," you say again. "Say it, Steve. Say you're not dumb."
His frown deepens, but he still won't look at you.Â
"Tommy says I am."
"Tommy Hagan is a shithead," you shoot back with so much venom, Steve's eyes fly open. "It's not true, whatever he tells you."
You hate that they've been hanging out more this summer. You can't tell Steve that, because it's not like you own him. He can be friends with whoever he wants. But you can't help that your skin crawls when Tommy and his stupid girlfriend, Carol, drops by and pulls Steve away from you.Â
âPromise?â he asks.
âYes, Steve. I promise.â
ââKay.â Steve smiles a little. âThanks.âÂ
You nod and lay back on the floaty.Â
âWanna get ice cream after this?â he asks.Â
âJust us?âÂ
âJust us.â
Now. (January, 1987)
You slam the phone back onto the receiver. A girl playing Pac-Man carefully glances at you.Â
Whoops. Right. You're still at work.Â
You smile and give a thumbs-up. She turns around. You return to your wallowing.Â
Youâve called three different video rentals. Jewel Films, which is about to go out of business; More Movies, whose attendant hung up on you before you could say Molly Ringwald; and finally, Blockbuster, which is thirty minutes outside of Hawkins. None of them have a copy of Pretty in Pink.Â
And okay. You could just watch another movie. You don't need that specific one. But this year has been shit. You'd thought after starting college, you'd finally break out of the Hawkins forcefield that had limited your social life. You'd thought you'd make friends and not be so terribly lonely. Life is supposed to get better after high school, isnât it?Â
Obviously, whoever said that is a big, fat liar.Â
âDude!â you hear a familiar voice exclaim. âStop hogging the game!â
Tawny curls peek from under a green and yellow hat. The hat hovers over an older boy whoâs glued to the Tempest booth. You go to them. Dustin Henderson lights up when he sees you. You can read his hat now; it says Camp Know Where â85.
âHey, Y/N!â he greets brightly. âThis guy has been here for a half hour. I left to get nachos and when I came back, he was still here.â
âIâm this close to beating my score!â the kid insists.
âCome on, guy," you say, one arm on the machine. "You gotta give other people a turn."
The kid, evidently demon incarnate, sneers at you.
âWhoâs gonna make me? You?âÂ
You lean against the side of the game, considering.
âHow old are you?â
âSixteen,â he says.
You snort.Â
âSixteen? And youâre still on Tempest?â
He glances at you.Â
âSo?â
âEverybody your age is playing Rampage, thatâs all.âÂ
You wink at Dustin. He beams.
âAnd, uh, I saw a couple girls hanging around Rampage,â you add.Â
The kid turns to you. You tilt your head innocently.Â
âSeriously?â he asks.
âSeriously. People always flock to the new games.â
Which is true. The girls part is not, but he doesnât need to know that. With that attitude, he won't be getting many phone numbers anyway.Â
You drum your fingers on the game like you have all the time in the world. And sure enough, the kid takes his quarters and heads towards Rampage. Dustin jumps in delight.Â
âYouâre awesome, Y/N!"Â
You grin. âI try. Where are the others?â
Dustin sours.
âThey ditched me. To hang out with their girlfriends! Can you believe that shit?âÂ
âNo way!"
He shakes his head.
âI know, right? My friend told me that thatâs what happens in high school. People change, yâknow? And heâd know, I guess. Heâs old like you.â
You scoff. âYou make me sound like some kind of ancient. Iâm not that old, Henderson.â
âItâs okay, Y/N.â He pats your arm. âIn many cultures, the elderly are wise. Now in my experience, this hasnât been the case. But I think youâre wise.â
âGee, thanks.â
Dustin smiles like the little shit he is and puts his change in the slot.Â
âWell, contrary to what this other friend says, Iâm sure itâll pass,â you say. âYou guys will hang out again."Â
You swallow your acidic truth. Dustin's a good kid, and so are his friends. You don't want him to turn cynical like you have. He's too young.Â
Dustin shrugs, starting the game.
âI guess so. I got a copy of The Lost Boys for us to watch on Friday. They said theyâll be there.â
âWhoa, seriously? That one just came out, howâd you get a copy?â
âMy friend,â he says. âThe one I mentioned. He works at Family Video and reserves stuff for me.â
âHuh. I thought Family Video was closed."
You'd applied to work there last year and never got a call back. You'd gone by once and it had looked abandoned. Hence why you now work at the arcade across town.Â
"It almost did, but Keith took over so now it's barely scraping by."
"Ah. Sweet deal on the movies."
âYeah,â Dustin agrees, eyes crinkling. âMy friend's pretty cool. You'd like him."
"Would I now?"
"Absolutely," he gushes. "He's a total badass too. He won his first fight last year. He used to be a jock but he's recovered."Â
"Wow. Impressive."
"Mmhm. I could ask him to hold stuff for you too, if you wanted.â
âYou would?â
The game makes a sad game over noise. Dustin sighs and takes a gulp of his slushie.
âYeah, totally,â he says through a mouthful of blue raspberry ice. âWhich one do you want?â
âPretty in Pink? I missed it in theaters."
âSure. Iâll tell him to hold it tonight and tomorrow you can pick it up.â
âCool. Thanks, Dustin.â
Dustin gives you an apple-cheeked grin.
âGotta stay in good graces with the arcade attendant who lets me play Tempest as long as I want.â
"I don't know what you're talking about," you say, walking away. "Don't get slushie on the game."
"'Kay!"
Dustin only gets a little bit of slushie on the game, but he cleans it up with about a million of the cheap snack bar napkins. When he leaves, he tells you to mention his name at Family.Â
"Who do I ask for?"Â
"You can talk to either of them," Dustin says. "Doesn't matter. Except Keith. You know Keith, right?"
"Unfortunately.â Keith used to terrorize the arcade before he blessedly moved on. âHe works there?"
"Barely." Dustin scoffs. "He's almost never there, so don't worry. And feel free to ask for more movies. They owe me one."
Your sole interactions are with professors and a gaggle of high school freshmen. But now you get to watch any movie you want. Maybe this year won't totally suck.Â
The bell rings pleasantly as you step inside. There's a few people on line, so you take your time walking in. There's a movie display with about thirty copies of RoboCop. A cardboard cutout of RoboCop stares back behind his red helmet.
"Can I help who's next?"
You go to the counter. A girl about your age with a choppy haircut smiles at you but it's sort of strained. She has a pin on her green work vest that says Ask me!
"Please don't ask for Adventures in Babysitting," she says.Â
"Oh. No, I'm, uh, Dustin's friend?"Â
You can't believe you're name-dropping a high schooler.Â
She nods in realization.Â
"Oh, yeah. God, I keep telling that dweeb not to promise holds."
You wince.Â
"Sorry. If it's going to get you in troubleâŚ"
Her brows raise. She smiles a bit.Â
"No, it's okay. Usually my coworker deals with it but, well. He's taking an extra long break today. So, what movie was it?"
"Pretty in Pink," you say.Â
"Classic," she replies. "John Hughes fan?"
"Somewhat. I didn't get to see it in theaters. I like Molly Ringwald."
She grins.
"Me too. She's pretty."
"Super pretty," you agree.Â
The girl considers you, then sticks out her hand.Â
"I'm Robin," she says. "Nice to meet you."
You take her hand. "Y/N.â
"Did you go to Hawkins High?"
"I did. Graduated last year."
"Oh, cool. Are you in college?"
You nod.Â
"Hawkins State. Twenty minutes from here."
"Sweet! I'm taking a gap year, but afterwards, Iâm gonna apply there. It's cheap. College is college, right?"
"College is college," you agree. "But I wish I'd gone away for school."
You don't know why you're telling her this. You've known Robin for all of two minutes. But she seems friendly. And her sense of style is cool. She wears a blue blazer and tie underneath her vest.Â
"How come?" she asks.Â
"Everybody from Hawkins is there," you say. "And I⌠I just want a new start."
Robin smiles sympathetically.Â
"They're jerks," she says.Â
You huff. "Yeah."
You'd turned yourself into a social recluse a million years ago. It's your own damn fault you can't befriend anybody in this town. At least, not anymore.Â
Robin types into the computer, then smacks the monitor. She groans.Â
"Ugh. Gimme a second," she says. "Stupid technology."
"No problem," you say, smiling. You like her. Maybe you can integrate Family Video into your regular routine, become friends. You can see Robin becoming a good friend. One you wouldn't grow apart from.Â
She disappears into the back room. You browse the old releases and stop at Die Hard. This one you saw in theaters. John McClane is a badass.Â
You think of Dustin, and his supposedly badass new friend. It's too bad you didn't meet today. Dustin has a good sense about people. If he says so, it's possible you and this friend really would get on.Â
The bell rings again. You're slow to look up. The entrance is empty when you do. You keep reading about John McClane's adventures.Â
"Have you been waiting long?"
You turn at the new voice. The video slips out of your hand and clatters onto the counter.Â
Steveâs hair has grown since you last saw it. He looks different too, though he has yet to break out of his signature church boy polos. There's a smattering of stubble on his jaw. His arms are lean with muscle. He wears a matching work vest like Robin's, name tag printed Steve in blocky font.Â
He looks at where you've dropped Die Hard and smiles.Â
"This is a good one," he says. "John McClane is a total badass."
You blink.
"Did you want to rent that one?" he continues, meeting your eye.Â
"No," you manage.Â
"Okay, no problem. Just browsing?"Â
He doesn't remember you.Â
You stare and stare. Steve leans in, concerned. He's changed, but he hasn't. He's still handsome with his swoopy hair and big, dark eyes, but the Steve you knew wouldn't have been caught dead working at a video store.
And he doesn't remember you.Â
"Are you okay?" he asks, sounding genuine.
You take a step back from the counter. The blood roars in your ears. Robin comes back in, Pretty in Pink in hand. She looks at you, then at Steve.Â
"Got it!" she tells you. "Computer should work now."
"I have to go," you say.Â
You don't look at Steve again, instead focusing on Robin.Â
Her brows rise.Â
"Oh. Is everythingâ"
"I forgot my wallet," you blurt. "I can't pay for the movie. Sorry."
"That's okay, we can justâ"
You run. The bell chimes over her words. You keep running until you get to the bus stop, three blocks away.��
Only there do you stop to catch your breath.Â
And then you cry.Â
February 1982
"What do you think about Marie?"Â
You look up from your textbook. Steve is doodling in the margins of his notes. You gently prod his arm. He returns to reading but his leg starts to bounce under the table.Â
"Marie Iverson?" you ask.
"Yeah."Â
Steve glances at you. He pushes his hair back. It had taken him freshman year to get his bearings with all the gels and creams, but now, his hair is a point of pride, always perfectly coiffed. Seniors call him "The Hair" and high-five him in the hallway. You hate it.Â
"I don't know. I don't know her that well."
"She's cute."Â
"I guess so," you say.Â
It's harder to get Steve to focus on homework these days. Last year, he happily made flashcards with you and even bought fancy gel pens to share for your notes. Now, he prefers to talk about girls orâ
"I was thinking of asking her out."
The tip of your pencil breaks. You really ought to start using pens, but you don't like being unable to erase.Â
"Shit, here. Take mine."Â
Steve offers his still perfectly sharpened pencil. You stare at it.Â
"Y/N?"Â
"Yeah." You take the pencil. "Thanks."
"Sure. So what do you think?"Â
"I don't know, Steve. I thought you talked about this stuff with Tommy."
"I would, it's justâŚ" Steve shifts uncomfortably. "He can be rude about it sometimes. He doesn't even get why we're friends, y'know? Doesn't understand why I don't just date you."
Tommy is a moron, but you've said that since last year, and Steve's never listened before.Â
"Some people don't get it," you say mildly, because you have an upcoming French test and there's no use in getting upset over Tommy Hagan right now.Â
"But you do. And you know about this stuff better than me. Girls and all."
"Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I know what girls are best for you to date, Steve. It's weird to talk about."
Steve deflates.Â
"Oh. Yeah, I guess so. Sorry."
You sigh and rub your temple.Â
"I thought you knew all about that," you say, extending an olive branch. "Asking girls out and stuff."
"Well, I mean, I've kissed girls but I've never⌠you're, like, the only girl I really know."
Something like pride swells in your chest. Selfishly, you want to keep Steve. You don't want to help him if it means losing him. Oh, you're so greedy, aren't you? You watch Steve run off with Tommy and Carol and nameless seniors and seethe, because Steve was yours first. Steve is yours.
"Y/N?"
"Yeah." You give him back his pencil and fish for another one in your bag. "Did you ever think about writing how you feel?"Â
"Writing?"
"Yeah, like a poem or a letter."
"I'm terrible at writing," Steve laments. "The letters get all jumbled and I never spell a damn thing right."
He'd told his mom once how letters melt into each other, how b's become d's. She'd taken him to get his eyes checked, and when the doctor said Steve was fine, Deborah Harrington had told her son to stop begging for attention.Â
"Someone who really likes you won't care about spelling mistakes, Steve," you tell him. "As long as you write from the heart. Don't do that cheesy shit and quote Romeo and Juliet. They're young, impulsive, and they die at the end, and that's not romantic."
Steve laughs, nose scrunched.Â
"What!" you demand. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing, 's justâof course you'd have something to say about quoting Shakespeare."
"It's overdone," you say, crinkling your nose. "And girls would much rather read your own words."Â
"So you think I should write Marie a letter?"
"If you really like her," you say. "Only write letters for girls you really like. Otherwise they lose their meaning."
Steve frowns. "I don't know if I should write her a letter, then."
Don't, you want to say. Don't write any of them letters.
You shuffle your papers into a stack.Â
"Can we study now?" you ask.
"Oh, sure, yes. Sorry."
"You don't have to keep apologizing, Steve."
He shifts closer to you. His leg has stopped bouncing.
"Lemme take you out," he says.Â
You nearly swallow your tongue.Â
"Whâwhat?"
"For ice cream," Steve clarifies. "Like we used to. Dairy Queen."
"Oh. Okay, sure. But after we study."
Steve beams. "I'll drive you."
Steve's dad had bought him the BMW as a birthday present this yearânot that Richard Harrington actually knows when his own son's birthday is, considering the gift was three months early. Still, it's another point of pride for Steve and about all anybody talks about whenever his name comes up. Steve is the only person in your grade with a car. Junior girls hit him up for rides. You make yourself scarce when they do.Â
You don't care. You liked Steve before the car. And the clothes. And the hair.Â
Your throat feels tight. You want your best friend back.Â
"Just us?" you check.Â
You can't tell these days. Steve seems to hang out with everybody but you. You're shocked he'd even asked to study together.Â
"Oh, sure," Steve says. "I just have to drop off Tommy and Carol first, okay?"Â
You check your watch and close your book.Â
"I have class," you lie. "I'll see you later."Â
Steve catches your wrist. He looks at you and you're struck by how sweet his face is. It's not like you didn't understand why girls want him but it's Steve. Your Steve, who still sleeps with a nightlight and who framed a picture of a sports car he cut out from a magazine because he'd thought it would make him cooler (it didn't. You still tease him about it.)Â
"Please," he says. "For helping me."
Your eyes slit. "I didn't help you to get stuff, Steve. I helped you because you're my friend."
Steve blinks like he's forgotten what it's like to be friends with someone just for the sake of being friends.Â
"You're right," he agrees. "You're not like that. I'll tell Tommy and Carol to find another ride. It'll be just us. I promise."
You perk up at that. "Really?"
"Really. You can sit in the front with me and we'll play Bruce Springsteen, like we used to. Please?"Â
"Okay, Steve." You ache. Youâve never been very good at telling him no. "I'll meet you in the parking lot."
And maybe⌠maybe your best friend is still in there after all.
Now
You ask your shift manager if you can work at the snack bar today. It's in the back and you won't have to deal with any game hogs.Â
"You didn't put enough syrup in my slushie."
You might have overshot the perks, though.Â
Slushie Girl's hair is bleach blonde and hairsprayed to God. You want to tell her that all that hairspray doesn't keep friends. Or brain synapses.Â
"I don't make the slushie," you say for the third time. "That's how it comes out of the machine."
She shoots you a mean look.Â
"I'm complaining to the manager."
You paste on a smile.Â
"You do that. Have a nice day."
She finally walks away, probably on the hunt for your manager, who's definitely smoking a joint outside to avoid this exact situation.Â
Dustin comes around the corner and this time, he's with the rest of his party. You smile.Â
"Hey, Y/N!" Dustin greets.
Lucas waves at you. Max and Mike are arguing and therefore are in their own world. And there's their newest addition, El, whose story you're still not clear on, as well as Will, quiet as always.Â
You lean your elbows on the countertop.Â
"What'll it be, gang?"
"Six nachos and six slushies, please. One blue raspberry, three cherry, and two Coke."
You fill up the slushies first. Dustin dances on his toes.Â
"So did you pick up the movie?" he asks.
"Oh." You try to smile. "I went there but I couldn't. I forgot my money. Pretty dumb of me."
Dustin accepts this with no argument.Â
"Well, you can go back. They'll hold it for a few days."
You're never setting foot in there again, but you don't tell Dustin that.Â
He takes his slushie and immediately starts drinking.Â
"Slow down, dude. You'll get a brain freeze," you say.Â
"You sound like Steve," Dustin informs you. "Doesn't Y/N sound like Steve?"Â
Lucas nods.Â
"Yup. They're both parents."
You feel queasy. You focus on making the nachos, the cheese pouring out thick and gooey.Â
"Did you meet Steve?" Dustin asks. "You probably know him from high school, but he's different now."
"Yes," you say quietly. "I knew him."
"I promise he's different. Even Mike likes him, and Mike hated his guts. Right, Mike?"
Mike pauses in his animated discussion with Max and looks at you.Â
"What?"
"I'm telling Y/N about how Steve is cool now," Dustin explains.Â
"Oh." Mike shrugs. "He's fine. Much better now that he's not dating my sister."
"He's not?" you ask. "But they were in love. IâI mean, that's what I heard, at least."
"She dumped his ass," El says, and it sounds a little ridiculous in her soft monotone.Â
Max scoffs, taking her Coke slushie.Â
"Did you live under a rock? It was a huge thing."
"Now Steve is lame," Mike says with a snort.Â
"Getting dumped doesn't make somebody lame," you say with an old ferocity you'd thought had disappeared.Â
"Okay, jeez." Mike holds up his hands. "Steve's alright. He's different, that's for sure."
"He's our paladin," Lucas says. "A protector."Â
Dustin nods eagerly.
You blink. "He protects you guys?"
Max elbows Lucas. You have no idea what that's about. El steps forward and smiles softly.Â
"Yes," she says. "He's our babysitter."
"Aren't you guys freshmen? I thought you were too old for babysitters."
"Oh no, Steve doesn't get paid for it or anything," says Mike. "He just does it 'cause he has nothing else to do."
"That's not true!" Dustin argues. Then he shrugs. "Well, it's a little true. But he does like us. He's a good guy. He cares about his friends."
You bite your tongue, not wanting to reply to that.Â
"That's great, guys. The girl, Robin? She seems pretty cool too."
"That's Steve's best friend," says Dustin. "She's great."
"Oh." You wince. "Best friend?"Â
Dustin huffs. âYeah. They donât date. He wonât say why."
"Platonic with a capital P," Max confirms. âItâs obviously because heâs in love with somebody else.â
âNot Nancy!â Lucas protests.
âThere are other girls besides Nancy, Sinclair.â
You busy yourself with serving the last set of nachos. The kids pull out crumpled bills and coins in return. You count the money and stack it directly into the register; you know there won't be any change.Â
When you turn, they're still there. Dustin has his signature grin on, eyes squinty.Â
"Yeees," you drag out. "Can I help you?"
"We need a favor," Lucas says. "Please."
"Hmm." You lean over the counter. "What's up?"
"They're showing Prince of Darkness on Friday," Dustin explains. "But it's rated R."
"So just sneak in. Isn't that what you guys did at Starcourt?" you ask.
"We had an inside man then. They're a lot stricter at the new one," Lucas frowns. "They ask for IDs 'cause some mom complained after her kid snuck in to watch Risky Business."Â
"And why can't your babysitter take you?"
You sneer at the thought. Steve spending his Friday nights herding a bunch of adolescent teens into a movie theater. There's a reason you consider Dustin affectionately delusional.Â
"He has a stupid date," Dustin groans. "He's a serial dater, Y/N. It's terrible. He gets lucky once and totally ditches us."
Now that sounds like the Steve you knew.Â
"I see. I don't really like horror stuff."
"You don't have to stay!" Dustin insists. "You can watch whatever you want after weâre in. I'll pay you back for the ticket."
âThis would be so much easier if Steve still worked at Scoops,â Mike grumbles.
You blank for a moment, the image of Steve in a sailorâs hat and those ridiculous shorts whiting your brain.
âUm,â you begin. âYou know I donât have a fancy BMW to cart you guys around in, right?â
âItâs cool. Weâll get there,â Max says.
âSo?â Dustin bounces on his toes. âSooo?â
You sigh. Itâd been nice of Dustin to get you the movie, even though youâd chickened out and ran. And itâs not like you have anything better to do.
âOkay,â you say. âIâll get you guys in.â
Dustin pumps his fist. âThanks, Y/N! Youâre my favorite old person.â
You roll your eyes. âFunny. Any funnier, and I might rescind my help, Henderson.â
âByeeee!â
They all disperse to the arcade. You wonder how on earth Steve got involved with them.
March 1983
âOkay, but if you had to choose.â
âPass. I would literally rather swallow pennies than kiss Principal Colemanâs bald-ass head, Steve.â
Steve takes a triumphant swig of beer. âSo youâre saying youâve got the hots for Benny the janitor.â
âNo!â you insist through giggles. âI donât. God, youâre gross. Canât believe Iâm being treated like this on your birthday.â
âExactly! My birthday.â
He rolls onto his side in his deck chair and nearly faceplants on the cement. You reach out, reaction time delayed.
âSteve!â you yell. âCareful.â
âI am, I am,â he mumbles, and rights himself on the chair. âJusâ wanna see you better.â
âI keep telling you you need glasses.â
âI do not,â he whines. âMy visionâs ten outta ten. Could a guy who needs glasses do this?â
He crumples up a Twinkies wrapper and throws it towards the garbage. The wind picks up and sends the wrapped into the pool.Â
âShit,â he says.
You belly laugh in delight.
âWait, wait, redo. Go fish it outta there.â
âOh, as if. Iâm not going in there. I told you you need glasses. Even Mother Nature agrees.â
"She does not. Mother Nature thinks I'm a doll."
You hum and close your eyes. Alcohol always makes you sleepy.Â
The chair scrapes against the concrete. You hear a crinkle of a chip bag. Those are your only warning before youâre crushed by two hundred pounds of drunk boy.Â
âSteve!â You wheeze, squirming as his hair tickles your face. âGet off!â
"âM sleepy,â he mumbles.
âWell, don't sleep on me, weirdo.â
ââS cold.â
âYou run, like, a hundred degrees, donât lie.â
He lifts his head. âSo youâre saying Iâm hot?â
âIâm saying all that booze cooked your brain,â you reply sweetly.
âIâve been wounded,â he moans and plops onto your shoulder.
âUgh.â You resign to your fate and lean back. Steveâs not actually that heavy; even drunk, he has a lot of control over his weight and heâs situated himself so he isnât crushing anything important. No, you squirm underneath him for a very different reason.Â
âSteeeeve,â you whine. âYouâre gonna squish me into a pancake.â
âCanât believe no one else came.â
You still. Steveâs face remains buried in your shoulder. His body is beside yours, and he has an arm slung over your belly.
âI didnâtâdidnât want a party,â he continues. âI always throw parties. I thought Iâd do somethinâ different. Anâ none of them even wished me a happy birthday. âCept you.â
You rest your hand on the back of his hair. Itâs wind-blown and messy from the drinks, free of his heady hair gel. Youâve never loved it more.
âDid you tell them your birthday is today?â you ask gently, even though you know he did.
âYeah,â he says. âTold all of âem. Guess they werenât listening.â
âI listen.â
Steve looks up at you. His eyes are glassy.
âGod, I miss you,â he says.
You feel the wall youâve built this year crumble, just a little.Â
âIâm right here, Steve.â
âI know butâbeen a jerk lately. I know I have. Youâre my best friend, okay? Nothingâll change that. IâI love you so much.â
Your breath hitches. Steve barrels on, not noticing.
âAnd Iâll be better. Weâll hang out more. Notânot here, drunk. But for real. Weâll go to the movies. Yâwanna see a movie?â
âYeah,â you whisper. âI wanna see a movie.â
ââKay, what movie? Anything you want. Weâll get popcorn and Raisinets.â
âYou hate Raisinets,â you choke through a watery laugh.
âIâd eat Raisinets anytime with you.â
You lay there, in the dark, the only sound being the pool filter.
âLetâs watch the new James Bond.â
âHmm, okay. But youâll have to say the name eventually.â
Your nose crinkles. âI am not calling it by its name.â
His laugh is warm in your neck.Â
You donât tell Steve to get up again. He snuggles into you, leg over yours. You fall asleep like that, curled underneath him.
Now
âWait.â Max stops. âShouldnât we have, like, a game plan?â
âGame plan?â El asks quietly.
âYeah. Some of us arenât so great at playing it cool.â
She stares at Lucas.
âI play it cool!â he squawks. âI am so cool!â
âRight.â
âJust let Y/N do the talking,â Will says. âSheâs technically the adult so she should act like this is a conscious choice.â
You shrug. âMakes sense to me.â
Dustin beams. âThis is gonna be great!â
âOr a total disaster,â Max says.
You go to the counter, the kids trailing behind like ducklings.
âSix tickets for Prince of Darkness, please,â you say. âAnd uh, one for Dirty Dancing.â
The attendant looks at you, then at the kids.
âDonât you mean seven tickets for Prince of Darkness?â she asks. âItâs rated R.â
Shit. âRight, yes. Sorry. Seven tickets. And one for Dirty Dancing. We have another friend whoâs late.â
âUh-huh.âÂ
The attendant, whose bored expression youâve recognized on your own face after long days in the arcade, hands you your tickets without any questioning.Â
âI think weâre in the clear,â Lucas whispers when you enter the concession area.Â
You wait for them to buy their snacks. Max persuades Lucas to let her mix M&Ms into their bucket of popcorn. He agrees and shuffles closer so theyâre pressed shoulder to shoulder while they share.Â
âOkay, last stretch,â Mike says, shoveling a frighteningly large handful of sour worms into his mouth. âWe just have to get past the ticket guy.â
Said ticket guy is a kid who canât be much older than you. You think you mightâve gone to school together, but youâve made it a point to eviscerate everything about high school from your mind.
âHey,â you say, trying to act cool. Maybe youâre the one Max shouldâve been worried about, instead of Lucas. âUh, here are our tickets.â
He takes the tickets, then looks behind you.
âPrince of Darkness is only for people seventeen and older,â he says.
âIâm an adult, so Iâm with them,â you explain. âIâm, like, their guardian?â
âYeah, uhââ He hands you your tickets. âNo can do. There needs to be an adult for each person under seventeen.â
âCome on,â you cajole. âTheyâre high schoolers. Itâs not like theyâre gonna be scarred for life watching some zombies, or whatever.â
He shrugs. âRules are rules.â
âSheâs an adult!â Dustin argues.
âLook, if youâre gonna hold up the line, Iâm gonna have toââ
âYo, Gillespie! That you?â
Dustin turns and lights up. The seven of you part for Steve Harrington and his date, a pretty strawberry blonde you think you had biology with.
âHarrington, man, whatâs up!âÂ
Ticket Prick gets up to slam Steve into a bear hug. You barely resist an eye roll.
âShit, I havenât seen you in a year! Whereâve you been all this time? Hey, did you hear about that shit with Munson?â
Steve flinches. Itâs a tiny movement, indiscernible to the trained eye. But itâs there all the same.
âGillespie, câmon. Donât bring the party down with that,â Steve says, all sweet charm.Â
âSorry, sorry. Daisy,â he greets the girl attached to Steveâs arm.
âGil,â she replies with a giggle. âYou smell like popcorn butter.â
Americaâs future taxpayers. Terrifying.Â
âAre you gonna let us in or not?â Max interrupts, arms folded.Â
You feel a burst of pride.
Gil shoots her a dirty glare and puffs up, ready to fight a fourteen year old. Steve cuts in smoothly.
âGillespie, listen. I know her.â He points to you. You bristle. âI can personally vouch that sheâs just trying to do right by these kids. They wanted to see Prince of Darkness, yâknow? Get away from the parents.â
âItâs a sick film,â Gil agrees. âYou seen it?â
No, of course Steve hadnât seen it. He hates horror.Â
âPlanning on it,â Steve says, the ultimate image of playing it cool. âLook, you remember sneaking into the movies. Fast Times? Ring any bells?â
Max rolls her eyes. Youâre inclined to do the same.
Gil laughs dopily, and nudges Steve. âHell yeah, I do. That was a crazy night, Harrington.â
Steve smiles thinly. âSure was. So whaddya say? For old timesâ sake?â
Gil considers your little troupe. Then he shrugs.
âWhy not. Managerâs not here anyway.â
He takes the tickets and tears them to stubs, then gives them back.
âTheater six. On your left. Enjoy.â
The kids stampede into the left theater wing. You hang back with your own ticket.Â
âAppreciate it, man,â Steve says, all smiles. âTake care, alright?â
âHey, you too, Harrington! We gotta catch up!â
Steve and Daisy go in. You expect them to walk right past you, and Daisy does, predictably. But Steve stops.
âIâll catch up, okay?â he tells her. âFind us some good seats?â
She paws at him a little, then goes, sodas in hand. You stiffen as Steve walks and stops three feet away from you.Â
âHey,â he says. âSorry about that. Gilâs an asshole.â
âI know. He yawned during my poetry reading sophomore year. And then you guys went to the movies together.â
Steve shrinks. âYour poems were great.â
Youâre suddenly exhausted.
âWhat do you want, Steve?â
âI just⌠I wanted to see you. Say hi.â
âOkay.â You cross your arms. âHi.â
âYou forgot your movie,â he says. âThe other day.â
âI didnât want it that much.â
âDustin said you looked everywhere for it.â
âWell, in the end, it didnât really matter,â you say. âNot enough to stay.â
âY/Nââ
âI think your dateâs waiting for you,â you interrupt. âBetter get back to her. Wouldnât want to taint your reputation.â
Steve makes a noise like heâs been wounded. You turn on your heel before you can think better of it.Â
âWait.â He catches your wrist. Steveâs grip is light, like youâre something precious to hold. You wrench your arm away. âY/N, I want to apologize. Iâm sorry.â
âFor what?â you ask. âFor forgetting me? I didnât expect you to remember, Steve.â
âI didnât forget you,â he insists. âI could never forget you. I wasnâtâplease, can I just explain?â
âI donât need your explanations,â you snap. The hurt corrodes your tongue like acid. âI know what happened. We were both there. You left.â
Steveâs eyes are huge and dark. He looks like you just stabbed him in the heart, and that makes you feel worse. Youâd thought telling him how much it hurts would put you back together, but all it did was break you more.
So you run. Again.Â
You slam through a back exit and rip your ticket into a million pieces. The wind is cold and unforgiving. Your eyes sting.Â
You call out sick for two days in a row. You kind of expect to get fired, but then again, people have been leaving Hawkins and if youâre not here to serve the masses their slushies, who will be?
So, after lying in bed not thinking about movies and strawberry blonde girls and how sick you are of this town, you get up and put on your arcade vest.
Now it is two in the afternoon. Youâd heard it was supposed to snow today.
Robin eyes the snack counter like it holds the next plague outbreak. You don't blame her; you make it a point to wash up to your elbows after work.
"Slushie?"
She looks at you like sheâd forgotten you were there. "What?"
You point a thumb at the machine. "Are you here for a slushie?"
"Oh. No, sorry. Red dye makes me insane in the brain. Steve actuallyâ"
Robin stops, grimaces. So he's told her. Probably everything, if the kids had been telling the truth.Â
You're honestly surprised she's here. Unless itâs to, like, swirlie you in the vat of artificial cheese.Â
"Are you here to drown me in nacho cheese?" you ask.
Robin's eyes go wide as dinner plates. "What? No!"
"Just checking." You lean against the counter. "What can I do for you, Robin?"Â
Robin suddenly looks like she's never interacted with a human being before. You like her a lot. Steve probably does too.Â
"I came to drop off your movie." She holds the tape over the counter like it's a pool of lava.Â
"But I didn't pay for it." You shove your hand in your jean pocket; you only have a couple dollars on you. "I guess I can get you the money tomâ"
"It's on the house. For a fellow Molly fan."
Robin wiggles the tape with two fingers. You take it and wait for a catch. There is none.Â
"Thank you," you say. "You didn't have to do that."
"Actually, it wasn't me," she confesses. "I'm just the mailman."
You prepare to hand it back but Robin shakes her head.Â
"He's not going to pop out of the slushie machine, okay? He's just trying to make it up to you."
"He doesn't need to make it up to me," you bite, except those arenât the words you mean. "Why does he even care? We're not in high school anymore."
Robin smiles a sad smile.Â
"I know," she says. "Weâre not. I know he should've known to fix things earlier. He's received a lot of blows to the head, though, so he's still catching up."
The thought turns your stomach. More? More you werenât there to protect him from?
"He doesn't owe me anything," you say and wave the tape again. "You can take it back and leave it for somebody else."
"Y/N, I know we don't know each other, like, at all. But it's important to me you know that Steve cares about you, because youâre important to him. And you knew him way before I did, and you probably know a lot of stuff I don't, and that's good because he has a friend like me, but he should also have a friend like you too, Y/N."
"I don't want to be his friend," you mumble.Â
"Yeah," Robin says. "I figured. But I don't think that's a confession he should hear secondhand."
You look at her, stunned. She's such a clever girl. You hope she treats Steve well.
"If you two areâ"
"We're not," she says, like this is a regular explanation she goes through. "Steve and I are friends. Steve has crashed and burned with every single date since his fall from regency. Steve is the best person I've ever met."Â
"Yeah, Iâve heard. You and Dustin are his biggest fans."
Robin snorts. "Trust me, I'm not proud of it."
You shake your head. Your eyes feel hot.Â
"This town is so shit," you say.Â
"Yeah," Robin agrees. "It really fucking is. But I'm not asking you to give this town a second chance. Just him."
"Why are you trying so much?" you ask. "You don't even know me."
Robin shrugs. "No, but you're the one person Steve used to be friends with who's not an asshole, and I think us non-assholes need to band together."
"I can sometimes be an asshole."
"Me too. So are those little dweebs. How about calling ourselves the Semi-Assholes Club?"Â
You laugh. "We'll get jackets."
"With partially drawn butts on the backs," Robin says with a giggle.Â
You look at the tape in your hand.Â
"Does Steve like John Hughes?"Â
"He does. He's a total sap for those. He thinks he's in his own coming-of-age movie because he's delusional."
He sounds perfect. He sounds like the friend you loved.Â
"I did want to watch this one," you say.Â
"It won't hurt you to," Robin promises.Â
You suppose not.
December 1984
You don't believe the whispers. All week, the rumor mill spins tales of Billy Hargrove finally pushing the King off his throne. There's no way he'll show his face, a girl at the adjacent lunch table astutes. I sure as fuck wouldn't.
Steve Harrington is a loser. Steve Harrington got dumped for Jonathan Byers. Steve Harrington may as well be dead, and on and on.Â
Every line gets you angrier. A boy who sits behind you in chemistry taps his pencil like he always does. Tap, tap, tap.Â
Halfway through class, you snap at him to quit it. He does, but not without a tinge of embarrassment. Youâre so angry this year. Angry at your loneliness, angry at the unfairness of said loneliness. You mightâve done this to yourself, and that fact only gets you angrier.
You see Nancy Wheeler in the hallways with Jonathan Byers, and the confirmation of that rumor should make you happy. It doesn't.Â
A week later, most of the excitement has died down. Everybodyâs moved onto the next big thing, which is to deduce who fucked in Vice Principal White's office. One look at V.P. White, and it had been decided that it can't have been White himself.Â
You can't care less. Once upon a time you mightâve laughed about it with a friend, but you don't have any more of those, and high school is bullshit with or without them. So.
Steve walks in twenty five minutes into the period. Mrs. Kaplan gives him a downright beastly glare and demands to know where he had been.Â
"I'm sorry," is all he says. "If you give me detention, I understand."
There are a few snickers that rub at an old hurt, one that had flared up whenever somebody dared to make fun of your best friend. It doesn't bother me, he'd said, and you'd known it was a lie.Â
It bothers me, youâd replied, and Steve had hugged you tight.
Mrs. Kaplan seems more stunned Steve hadn't swaggered past her like a peacock escaped from the zoo and lets him go sit down without a fight. He takes the only empty desk, two rows across from you. You stare. You can't not.Â
Half of his face looks like it was mashed in a garbage disposal. It's purple and a sickly yellow. His eye and lip are still swollen. You stare and stare. You feel queasy.Â
Billy had done that. You're so angry. You think you might never get past this grief, this loss of a once permanent fixture in your life.Â
No one wished Steve a happy birthday this year, you realize out of nowhere.
You stare and stare and stare until Steve looks right back. You're blindsided by thick guilt, like blinking through a milkshake. And then the familiar curl of anger returns because why the fuck should you feel guilty? You aren't the one who fucked everything up, who mascerated this good thing. Steve did this to himself. Steve deserves to walk the halls alone. It's Steve's fault.Â
But when you look at him, at his raw wounds, at his bruised knuckles, you know that he already believes he deserves every punch Billy Hargrove gave him.Â
You hate Steve Harrington. But you really wish you'd been there to drive him to the hospital.Â
Now (And Forever)
The tape sits buried in your drawer for three days. You donât know what Family Videoâs return policy is, but you hope youâre not racking up late fees. You doubt name dropping Dustin will work again.
Itâs Saturday when you decide to watch Pretty in Pink. You remove the video from its sleeve. An envelope falls out.
The front has your name printed in squished, loopy script. You remember January at Steveâs house, a stack of thank-you cards courtesy of his mother awaiting the Harringtonsâ sign-off. Steveâs hand would cramp and youâd take over while he made grilled cheese for the both of you. Love, The Harringtons, and there was no love in that house, but you think maybe Steve loved enough to make up for it.Â
Hi, the letter begins. I hope youâre good. Robin told me youâre going to Hawkins State.
Thatâs fucking amazing. Iâm so proud of you. Are you still writing poetry? I liked that one you wrote about the birds who shared a branch and kept each other warm. I still have it in my notebook in my room.
Iâm sorry for the other night. Iâm sorry for every night since freshman year, honestly. Iâm kind of a dumbass, but you know that, so it doesnât really excuse anything. I think Iâve actually lost brain cells since we drifted apart.
You crumple the corner, suddenly hot with anger. Who keeps telling him heâs dumb? You want names.
I didnât forget you, you know. I got scared and I thought maybe I could ease into it, but then you recognized me and⌠well. I donât blame you for running.
Anyway. Iâm talking too much about myself, when thereâs nothing to say. Iâm really sorry about what I did, or, actually, what I didnât do. Somebody told me I was living on autopilot, and that it wasnât really living at all. I think it was you.Â
Iâm not living on autopilot anymore. I woke up. And I realized that youâre the best fucking thing thatâs ever happened to me. I love Robin and the kids and this little family that has apparently invayd invaded your life too. Sorry about that. They never leave and they eat all your food. Good luck.Â
But I miss you. I always have.
Shit happened these last few years that Iâll tell you about one day, if you want. Iâd rather not, though, because youâve always been the paranoiac (like that one? Robin said itâs an SAT word) of the two of us and I feel like this would just make you even more of one. But I will tell you, if you want to hear it. I want to tell you everything. I want you to tell me everything too. Like we used to.
I want you to tell me how college is going. Who the annoying jerks in your classes are so I can go beat them up (kidding). I want you to stop by to rent movies so I can lend them for free and youâll yell at me about taking advantage of fre friendships.Â
Fuck, I miss you. Itâs always been there, bubbling below the surface. I never stopped missing you. I never stopped loving you. Iâm sorry I didnât write this sooner. I know you said writing is how we express things we canât say. You were right. You always are. Canât believe I forgot that.Â
Itâs okay if you donât want to be friends. I mean, it hurts, but I respect it. I understand. Most days, I canât believe people can bear to be around me. But then I hear your voice in my head, telling me that most people are shitheads and that Iâm golden and. Well, I donât know if I believe that, but you were right that most of the people I surrounded myself with were shitheads. Except you, of course. And then I went ahead and fucked that up.
Iâve been working on finding the non-shitheads of the world. I think Iâm doing pretty well. And I wrote this because I realized that while I will probably end up buried in this fucking town, youâre going to do something incredible. And nothing incredible ever happens in Hawkins, so I figure youâll be far away when you do it.Â
I didnât want to miss this chance to write things I never said. So here they are. And you can do whatever you want with them. Youâve always been the best of the two of us. I trust you.
You should watch Dirty Dancing. Youâll like it. I did. Iâll see it again if you want. Iâll watch anything with you.
Did you know thereâs another Bond movie coming out in the summer? We could watch that one together too. If you wanted more time to decide.
Sincer
Lo
Your friend,
Steve
You donât bother ejecting the tape. You run all the way to the bus stop, Steveâs letter in hand.Â
You have to see him. No other thoughts register except that one. You have to know if Steve wrote these words because he canât say them or because you wonât listen.
It isnât too late when you get to Loch Nora. The neighborhood is dead, which is weird. Steveâs house looks frozen in time: his parentsâ car isnât in the driveway. You wonder if theyâve ever come back since youâve been gone. You wouldn't be surprised if the answer is no.
Thereâs a tarp over the pool. The gate is locked with a chain. You canât sneak in through the fence like you used to. Not that you would. You donât think strangers can sneak through pool gates.
You knock on the door three times. And wait.
Steveâs car is in the driveway, a duller burgundy than when he first got it. There are a few scratches in the paint. No longer a prized possession. Maybe well-loved instead.
The door swings open.Â
Steve says your name like a prayer. You swallow and steel your spine.Â
âI got your letter,â you say.
âOh.â He rubs the back of his neck. His hair is damp like heâs just showered. It curls around his ears. Waves of want hit you.Â
âI donât want to be friends,â you continue before he can speak. âI donâtâI canât do that again.â
Steveâs mouth draws into the saddest frown youâve ever seen.
âOkay,â he says softly. âThank you for telling me.â
âNo.â You shake your head. âNo, thatâs notâI donât mean it like that.â
His brows knit. âWhat?â
âIâŚâ You pull out the letter and wave it. âDid you mean it? Do you love me?â
âYes,â Steve whispers. Itâs like a shout in the quiet street. âI meant it.â
âLike a friend?â
âIf thatâs what you want.â
âWill you love me like a friend forever?â you ask.Â
âAlways.âÂ
You squeeze your eyes shut.
âI love you as something more,â you blurt, watery. âI have for a long time.â
You hear the door shut. This is it: your heart on the line, all for nothingâ
âThen Iâll love you as something more back,â Steve says. âIâll love you any way you want me to.â
And he holds you the way youâd held him so many times. You inhale and wrap your arms around his neck. Youâve got an iron grip around the letter. Tears slip down your cheeks.
âI missed you,â you confess.
Steve nods against your shoulder.
âYeah,â he says, and it sounds a little wet. âI missed you too.â
âYou were wrong,â you say into his neck.
âHmm?â
You pull back to look at Steve.
âIncredible things do happen in Hawkins.â
âOh, yeah?â Steve smiles, cheeks blotchy. âLike what?â
âWe found each other again.â
#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x yn#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things x reader#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things x you#stranger things imagine#stranger things fic#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington angst#friends to lovers#strangers to lovers#friends to strangers to lovers
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